Dummy weaning hand holding please!

[Gobolinosmum]

Hi All 

I really am not ready to wean little man's dummy right now as (some of you will know from the reflux boards) we're going through a sleepless nightmare with baby sis's reflux...BUT little man has started biting the ends off his dummies so I think we need to get rid of them once and for all. He's 3 in February and a complete addict  I never intended for him to still have a dummy at this age but somehow when baby sis came along it was such a lifesaver I let him keep it. Now he has somehow started having it in the daytime too...how did that even happen?? 

I was going to wait til xmas and exchange it for his presents but I think he will be really upset for a few days/nights and I don't want to spoil the magic of xmas for him (or us) plus, it's dangerous and expensive to let him keep chewing the ends off them in his sleep. I think we'll have to just bite the bullet and wean him now. I'm so scared. Not sure how i'll cope without the dummy 

So hubby and I have a debate. I say we (or the dummy fairy) give him his main xmas present from us early, in exchange for the dummies. It's a present I know he'll absolutely love and play with a lot (toy tractor and trailer with bales). Hubby says better instead for the dummy fairy to leave some choc buttons under his pillow every morning until he's forgotten about the dummy. I can see him getting upset when the choc buttons stop coming but Hubby reckons a one-off present won't be enough to cut it. Has anyone else weaned their toddler at this age and what worked for you?

The other dilemma is that baby sis still has a dummy and it really is the only thing that is holding us together at the moment as her reflux meds aren't working and it's weeks to wait for a paediatricians appt. She will definitely be keeping her dummy for the foreseeable future but this is obviously going to make little man very jealous and make weaning harder. I suppose I'll just have to tell him that dummies are for babies. A friend of mine told her little boy that the dummy fairy takes dummies from big kids who don't need them any more and gives them to all the crying babies in the world.

Baby sis is only sleeping in 1-2hr intervals and mostly in my arms at the moment so I must be mad to consider weaning little man's dummy right now but I guess if I'm going to be up all night for one child I might as well be up all night for two... Still not convincing myself...

Anyway, the main thinking behind this is that if we do it now, hopefully he'll be over it by xmas. How long does it take at this age? Anyone got experience?

Thanks! xxx

[Truly Blessed]

Dummy gone for 11 night, causing anxiety and teeth grinding

Hello Lovely,

I'm so sorry I have just seen this, forgive me, but my goodness, maybe the ladies were leaving it for me because I'm your lady on this subject! (see link above)

We just got through this with DS and he will be 5 in January!    Feel better now  lol  Every time we decided to do it something happened like sickness, house move and earlier this year and awful accident where he disclocated and broke his elbow, there was always something.

If you look down the thread you will see how I handled it, and DS loved it. We had a few nights of upset and I stayed with him until he was asleep. Then things got better after about a week, then 'Bang!' right back as if we had just started. We are now 5 weeks in and he barely mentions it any more  , although he did make a sign at school this week which read "Missing Dummy's" lol bless his heart.  There was never a child more addicted to his dummy than Sam, from the day he was born. He was just 2 when we took it away in the day but it was such a huge sleep cue for him.

He is our only one, so I feel for you with DD still having one but I have friends who were in the same position, so I know it can be done.

I would go with the gift idea, and even the buttons as well if you and DH can't decide but I will say this. Whatever you do his reaction will be the same, because habits are hard to break, and like the ladies told me, it is a grieving process he needs to get through.

Prepare yourself for tears, and pick your moment. Are you sure you want to do this over Christmas  I'm not sure I would TBH, although others have, just my opinion, I didn't want it to take away from the joy of it all. Do you think him chewing the dummy is dangerous, are you fearful he will choke  If so then you have no choice but to go for it.

So as this is a late reply  You may already have started! Let me know your thoughts and how you are 

(HUGS)

Vicki.x.

[goldmom]

Just holding your hand through this. We have a lot of the same issues, plus for the first time DS1 has bitten his pacifier off at his playgroup. He's nap dropping now, but still needs day sleep sometimes, so I'm not sure how weaning is going to work, b/c there's close to no way he'll nap without his pacifier. I have absolutely no advise and just wish you the best of luck.

[Gobolinosmum]

Thanks both! 

I was all set to just go for it a couple of nights ago but then baby sis's reflux just got awful and she was up screaming til 1am then up every hour so I decided to leave it until we've got the reflux under control (paediatrician's appt in 3 weeks) I don't care if I have to buy him new dummies every day when he bites them off, I can't possibly survive on less sleep that I'am already getting!!! Maybe it can be a new year's resolution...

[Truly Blessed]

I hope you get DD's reflux sorted soon I think you're right, the timing needs to be good, there's no way I could cope with both.

x.

[Gobolinosmum]

Thanks 

Yes, I was feeling ok on no sleep but after 2 months of her being up every hour I suddenly feel a bit run down and not sure I can manage without the dummy! Trouble is, he just bit through another two dummies today. We have 3 left. I'm torn, do I spend an absolute fortune on new dummies between now and mid January or do we just go for it now and get it over with. Given the choice I would wait but at a fiver for two (he liked the tommee tippee silicone ones) it could end up costing us £35 a week if he keeps biting through them at this rate. That's silly money and I really shouldn't even be considering spending it. I've tried to explain to him each time that if he keeps biting through them there will be no more dummies and he nods like he gets it, but then just does it again. I don't think he even realises he's doing it until too late. I guess I can't expect him to have that kind of self control at almost 3.

Oh help...I feel like we have to just go for it but I'm in no fit state to handle it right now. But not sure I have any choice  maybe I just have to accept that the next week might be pants and hope that xmas will smooth the way a little. 

[goldmom]

Can you try explaining to him that if he keeps biting them, then he won't have any more. Probably won't help though, at least not with my DS1.

[Gobolinosmum]

Thanks Goldmom, yes I've been explaining this to him each time he bites one through but a) I don't think he's even aware he's biting them until it's too late and b) it doesn't help that I keep buying new ones and therefore my dire predictions of "you'll have no dummies left" have never actually come true  Also I think if we're going to really go for it, we'll need to put a positive emphasis on it. I can see a lot more upset if we actually run out and he has to go to bed without a dummy, than if we make it a fun story/game involving the dummy fairy collecting his dummies in the night and maybe a nice reward each time he wakes up. In my dreams this will work. In reality I'm sceptical...

[Gobolinosmum]

Vicki, thanks for the link, just finally got a chance to sit down and read it! Glad to hear your little man is doing fine now. Love love love the fairy dust/lovie idea. Arthur has a special teddy already, I don't think he'd accept a replacement but I'm thinking perhaps I could steal your fairy dust idea and each morning when he wakes up the dummy fairy will have left him a prize at the end of the trail in the fireplace or under the xmas tree. I might make it a really special one the first morning, in exchange for leaving his dummies, then something small each morning after that for maybe a week, then see how we get on. By then, it will be after xmas and hopefully all the fun and presents will help him forget. Or not.  I can dream!

Regarding baby sis's dummies, I'm thinking I'll try to limit hers in the daytime so he doesn't have it rubbed in his face too much as I think that seeing her with a dummy will make it really hard for him. Her reflux is mostly bad at night (stomach produces more acid at night) so I'll try to just keep hers for sleep only and out of sight in the daytime.

[Truly Blessed]

Arthur has a special teddy already, I don't think he'd accept a replacement

LOL. Sam had 2 special blankies, but it was the glittery eyes on the cat that did it, as he believes it's magic fairy dust, he is cuddly toy crazy! I think your plan sounds good, it is a relief once you're through it I have to say. I think limiting DD's dummies in the day is a great idea, it's always a good move anyway, double whammy

Good luck!! and Merry Christmas.x.

[Gobolinosmum]

Haha, yes I think even Arthur would fall for fairy dust eyes,  seeing as he goes around proudly telling everyone he has chocolate eyes! 

Talked it over with hubby this afternoon and we've decided to wait until Ottilie's reflux is under control. At worst, I hope that will be within a month, once we've seen the paediatrician. As she's up every hour at the moment, I just don't know how I'd manage if he was up in the night too. I'm a bit broken already  and hubby has to get up for work at either 3am or 5am every morning so he can't help out with NW's. Also, I checked little man's teeth this evening and two of his final molars are halfway through (at last! He's been teething them for a year now!!!) and the other two are just under the gum, so hopefully by the time the reflux is sorted, his molars might all be through and that might make dummy weaning a bit easier on him. Teething has been awful for him (and us!) and he gets extra difficult and reliant on the dummy during these times. We decided that if he keeps biting through his dummies during this time, we'll just buy him the cheapy ones so it doesn't matter so much. I'm sure just one month on cheap dummies won't hurt his teeth.

I feel better for deciding, pressure's off, and when the time comes, we can use your fairy dust idea!! Thanks for that! 

[Truly Blessed]

Hi Hun, I'll wager the the teething is the reason why he's biting through the dummies, he's probably grinding on it because of the pain. It might even stop once the molars are through, then you'll have a decision to make lol 

My goodness, you have a lot on your plate, I truly hope DD's reflux settles soon, I have no personal experience, but I have read many threads on here, so I know how hard it can be, and every hour at night  no wonder you're broken, bless your heart.

I would definitely be waiting it out for now too!

Chocolate eyes  that is just too cute!

I'll be here waiting when the time comes, just pop back on your thread. Lots of (HUGS)

x.

[Gobolinosmum]

Thank you Vicki, you're so kind  I'll be back (soon I hope!!) I hope you have a very lovely Christmas. xxx

[Truly Blessed]

And to you Sweetie x.