We pat her the shoulder first. Quickly and then slow it down and just keep the hand resting there. Sometimes I have to cover her eyes while doing this. When all else fails, I pick her up and comfort her and then put her back and keep a heavy hand. But with us too it's a 50 -50. What we are doing now is already being in when we know she will wake up, which right now is at 45 mins and then at 34 mins. Just before she can wake up, we put a hand on her chest and it keeps her asleep! HTH