Hi All
I just wanted to shout out to the incredible women who have helped me in this forum in the past 6 weeks and I want to pay it forward to anyone who is struggling with getting their babies to sleep independently. I stumbled onto Baby Whisperer after my 7 week old angel baby suddenly stopped sleeping and napping. I read (about 100 times!) how to do shush pat and how to teach her to sleep independently, and then set out to do it. Even though the next 6 weeks were the most frustrating/challenging/tiring parenting I have ever done (I also have a 3 year old), I was adamant that this time, my baby wouldn't CIO (like I did for DD1) and so I followed Tracy's advice to the letter.
It definitely worked but in the first 4-5 weeks, it was taking me between 20-45 mins of shush patting to put her down, with multiple wake ups 5 mins after I left. Her naps were 30-45 mins long (but took 45 mins to put her down!) and I was doing 6 NWs a night and exhausted! Needless to say, it seemed futile and I almost gave up... almost...
And then she hit 3 months and 1 week old (adjusted age 3 months), and that magic 11lb weight - and literally over night she suddenly started putting herself to sleep for ALL naps with minimal (<5 mins) or no crying/fussing! So I just wanted to let you know that if you're struggling and wondering if all this time investment is worth it, it is!
If you're interested, here is what I did:
She is on a 2.5 hr EASY (works best with her because of her reflux) and we're doing more of a EAEAS or EASAEAS. She sleeps in a bassinet in our room. First, I worked on stopping nursing her to sleep during the day only (I still nurse her to sleep at BT) - she HATED that and protested tremendously. Then I took away my AP - jiggling and rocking her to sleep. I introduced a new wind down routine that included about 10 mins of just walking around the house or outside with her at the end of her A time, so that she was no longer being so ultra stimulated. Then we go upstairs (while I say, it's time for your nap now), swaddle her, turn on her sound machine and I sing her a song. Before I would shush pat at this point (she hated sitting and would fight me hard). She seemed to HATE the shush patting too, but I found that singing a song to her and patting her shoulder gently worked better for her. So I sing to her and walk around the room for 2-3 mins and then put her down in her bassinet on her side supported by a wedge and say 'Its time to go to sleep now'. For the first 4-5 weeks, she would protest loudly at this point and I'd have to pick her up and walk around the room again for a few mins, sometimes 4-5 times.
Exactly one week ago, I put her down and made sure she was asleep and then went for a shower. After a very quick shower, when I turned the water off, I suddenly heard her wailing. It was very cold and so I couldn't just rush to her as is my inclination - I had to dry off and put some clothes on. Until then I had never really let her cry - couldn't bear it. But through the ST, I did start to learn the difference between her hunger cries, her protest cries and her real cries. Anyway, I dried off and put my clothes on quickly and in the 3 mins it took, her protest cries started calming down to mantra cries and she was asleep before I could get to her. Emboldened by how that happened, her next nap, I did the above routine and put her down drowsy but totally awake and left the room (I stood outside the door!) and listened. She did not let out a peep and just fell asleep. The next nap, she protested for about 5 mins, I went to pick her up and calm her down and when I put her down again, she again slept easily. Day 5 was the most challenging and I think it was her last ditch effort to protest this new routine but I kept it consistent and just kept going back every 3-5 mins to calm her down and pick her up if necessary to calm her back down again. So in the past 7 days, she has done 28 naps where she put herself to sleep.
I typed the above a week ago and she has now done 2 weeks of putting herself to sleep before naps and is now starting to do it at bt too (I make sure she's awake after nursing and do the same routine). We have also traveled for Thanksgiving and she put herself to sleep in a brand new environment and in a new room/crib within minutes! This has made life SO much easier for me and it has made all that shush patting so worth it. So if you're contemplating starting Baby Whisperer, take it from me, it is a miracle. I had the worst 6 weeks where she was not sleeping at all and now her naps are starting to extend automatically and she goes down like a dream!
Now onto tackle the NWs!
