wake to sleep not working, am I doing something wrong?

[J JACK]

Hi ive been struggling with 40 minute naps since my bub was 5 weeks he is now 13 weeks. Ive tried w2s a few times, I started going in at 25 min mark wake he slightly till he moves a bit or changes his breathing pattern but he still will then wake up 15 minutes later. I then tried going in at 30 minutes and the same again. Please help!!

[Martini~]

Hello!

Could you please post your routine and let us know how you settle him for nap/ BT?

[J JACK]

Hi sorry

Wake 7.00
Feed 7.30
Nap 8.10 - I just place him in cot he fusses a few minutes
Wake 8.50 - last 3 days he has fussed for 5 min and gone back to sleep
Wake/Feed 10.00
Nap 11.15
Wake 12.00 (roughly)
Feed 12.30
Nap 1.00 - this time I usually need to use white noise I assume hes over tired?
Wake 1.50-2 depending on when he fell asleep
Feed 3.00 and Nap
Wake 4.00
Feed 5.00 and Nap
Wake 6.00
Bed time 7.30

Sometimes I can get him back to sleep after he wakes early by rubbing hes tummy or white noise it gets harder as the day goes on. After 20 minutes and he hasn't fallen asleep I  will get him up
he wakes at 1 and 4 for night feeds.

[Martini~]

Ok Honey, so generally it seems that you are in a kind of UT/OT loop. It means that you put him down too early in the morning for a nap, he does an undertired nap of 45min but after couple of naps like that he becomes OT as no proper nap behind him.

Firstly - have you looked at this link about average A times? For 3mo it's roughly 1:30 so you could try to push your DS slightly.
Average A times- BOOKMARK ME!
These A times are in general after good sleep, so after night or after a proper 2x sleep cycles naps. However some kiddos could do the same A after even a short nap. So in general if you son is doing a short nap, the following A should be shorter than "standard" one, but it's up to you how much to shorten it. I have to say I have never shorted A times after crappy naps. I usually pushed for a normal A and thanks to that I was getting a mammuth nap afterwards of 2h or so. It might be an OT one but it was always easier to resettle than UT naps.  Does it makes sense for you?


Regarding white noise, I am a great fun as it really saved us from the moment I found it (DS was 6wo) till the moment we weaned (6mo). Afternoon naps were always a problem here and frankly speaking, catnap or last nap of the day was so difficult to get here that I thought I have a colicky baby during first 3 months:)!

[J JACK]

Hi there, thanks for your reply I have got the wake times bookmarked. Ive tried keeping him up longer in the morning but he seems to get cranky and not go down so easy. I think maybe i should have a go at pushing his wake times longer for the 2nd and third nap for a few days and see how I go. My plunket nurse said at that age they can stay up for 2-3 hours but I dont think her advice is very good??

[Martini~]

2-3h? Oh no, I don't think so. Some bubbas may do one 2-3h a day maybe but usually all other A times are shorter than.

And yes, if you struggle with mornings, try extend other A times. But please be aware that pushing A is always diffcult at at that age they need 3-4 days to get used to new A times. So maybe it's worth considering some pushing in the morning and hopefully you will get a nice nap without a need to resettle.

[J JACK]

ok yes I thought 2-3 hours was a bit much. In regards to w2s do you think it wasn't working because he was either UT or OT?

[Martini~]

W2S is a great method but in my opinion great to change the habit. When you have routine issues it's better first to work the out and than if the annoying habit stays, try w2s. I also think that some kiddos just won't respond well to w2s. Last think would be that it can be difficult to do w2s for naps as they are so short that you make "wake" them slightly to early or slightly to late:).

[J JACK]

Hi thought I would update with what's been going the past few weeks. So I tried lengthening A times, although he was fine with it, it didn't do anything to lengthen naps the only time he would sleep longer im sure this isnt a coincidence is when the washing machine was on I tried finding recordings but they don't sound the same even my own recording of the washing machine didn't work so that was out the window as my water and power bill would vo through the roof if I was have my machine on all day. Anyways Ive decided to accept that hes a short napper and found a routine that fits here is:


7:00 Awake
7:30 feed
8:30 Nap
9:15 Awake
10:30 Feed
11:00 Nap
11:45 Awake
1:30 Feed & Nap
2:15 Awake
4:00 Feed & Nap
4:45 Awake
6:45 Feed
7:00 Bed

He wakes up around 2-4 for a night feed


 



 

 

[Martini~]

If you feel Fine with this routine, and he is not OT - that's all fine:).