2.5 year old playing at naptime

[bloosiern]

How long should it take for her to settle back into a routine?

Also, I ordered her a Gro Clock the other day but it won't be delivered until the 28th because I live in the US.  She has a Sleep Buddy light currently which is a dome that goes dark at BT and shines blue for WU.  I think she'll respond better to the Gro Clock though because we used the Sleep Buddy for my ODD until a few months ago and the Gro Clock works much better for her now that she has one.

Hopefully I will be checking back in soon with good news:)

[jessmum46]

I would have thought a week or so of consistency and you should start seeing some results or at least a pattern that tells you something else needs tweaking.

How are you getting on?

[bloosiern]

I had her asleep on Thursday by 715pm and she woke at 6 or just after.  Normally, I would've laid her down by 12/1230 with that WU but she was with my MIL.  She didn't PD until 130 and had to wake her at 420...ugh, why doesn't she listen to me.  So of course then the UT/OT cycle begins again because I'm sure she fell asleep super late Friday night then she had 2 NW's and was awake by 545!  Saturday, I let her nap 1230-3 and she fell asleep by 830 but was up by 545 again.  She may have fallen back to sleep but was up for sure by 715 when my ODD woke us up.  We went out on our friend's boat Sunday and weren't able to lie her down until 115.  She slept 140-335.  We PD at 735 due to the shorter nap and she didn't finally fall asleep until 11 then was up at 6!

I am getting so frustrated because no matter how hard I try to get her on a shorter nap/early BT schedule, I end up having to try and fix things after she is watched by others.  What's a girl to do in this situation?

[jessmum46]

If it's seriously impacting your sleep and your LO, then it's worth considering whether a sit down chat with everyone who cares for her would be helpful.  It's hard when it is relations and it is so easy to cause upset, you may decide it's not worth the hassle, but honestly I do feel that everyone should respect your wishes with regards her sleep and routine.  Perhaps they just aren't aware how much impact not following the routine has?  Maybe you could invite them over for a night so they can see how bad bedtime and the night can be?

[bloosiern]

Yes, it is hard because they are family and they watch her for free.  My ODD was HSN, still naps some days at almost 5 years old, and would nap until 4 when she was that age and still go to bed at a decent hour.

My husband says he wants to get rid of the video monitor because without it I would have no idea she's awake that late.  He puts her down and doesn't ever look at the monitor to see when she actually falls asleep.  I agree that sometimes it can be a bad thing but in this case I'm glad I know she's still awake because then I know a routine change is needed.  Poor thing just lies there awake not making a sound.

I work today and my mom is with her so hopefully she naps because last week she wouldn't nap for her.  After today, I only work 1 day for the next week so we'll see how things go.

[jessmum46]

Keep us posted .

Fwiw I do think video monitors can be as much of a curse as a blessing.  In my house quiet=asleep as far as I'm concerned, if that's not the case I kind of feel that's not something I need to know!

[bloosiern]

So the Gro Clock arrived yesterday.  She was so excited when we put it in her room last night and seems to really get the concept of it.  She did have an EW this morning at 520 but I went in and told her the sun wasn't up and that she had to go back to sleep.  I looked on the monitor a few minutes later and she was back to sleep.  I was exhausted so fell back to sleep and woke up to her playing on my floor just after 7...her clock was set for 7.  I'm not sure exactly when she WU but at least she fell back to sleep.

Yesterday she had trouble settling for her nap and didn't fall asleep until 145.  I woke her at 330.  She seemed exhausted so I PD at 730 and she was asleep by 815.  I've finally decided that I'm not letting her nap longer than 1.75 hours or later than 3.  Otherwise she just takes super long naps then takes forever to settle at night leading to NW's/EW's thus wanting another super long nap the next day and the UT/OT cycle continues.  I've been so scared of waking her from her naps but now I realize that she may be exhausted for a few days as she adjusts so I just need to keep an eye on her WT after nap and make sure she's in bed early so she can make up her sleep at night.

Hopefully the going back to sleep this morning wasn't a one-off and it happens every day:)

[jessmum46]

Brilliant news!

[bloosiern]

So E has really taken to her Gro Clock.  She still seems to wake around 530 give or take 30min but more often than not is settling back to sleep for at least 45min longer.  The problem I'm having now is with her naps.  She used to go down at 12/1230 no problem and take a decent nap but now if she falls asleep at that time she sleeps for an hour then is tossing and turning for another 30min then is up for good.  I think maybe she needs her nap pushed later but why would she fall asleep so easily if she wasn't ready that early?  The shorter nap doesn't seem very restorative starting/ending so early as she is very tired by BT.  I'm thinking she needs her longest WT in the morning as a longer WT after nap just isn't working out.

The only reason I started thinking this is because my DH PD at 130 the other day with a 545 WU and she took a great nap...he actually had to wake her at 415 (still can't get him to understand to wake her earlier but oh well).  He said she was definitely asleep by 9 that night.  She did wake just after 6 but went back to sleep until almost 8!  Even though I don't agree with his timings for the day it does make me wonder if there may be a method to his madness:)

Thoughts?

[jessmum46]

Later nap sounds good to me maybe try 15-30 mins later and see if that gets her a more restful sleep x

[bloosiern]

I really don't know what to do anymore.  E just doesn't want to nap well for me.  I can't get her to nap unless I lie next to her bed, more recently I've had to rock her.  She seems to still be sleeping well for everyone else.  I feel like I'm so stressed out about her sleep and surely she is able to pick up on that.  She's definitely not ready to give up her nap because she's already exhausted by the time she eats lunch and she's a bit touchy lately.

Everyone else says she so pleasant and napping well for them so what am I doing wrong and what can I do to fix it?

[jessmum46]

Is she getting consistency in terms of routine yet?  Are you putting her down at the same time as others do?

[bloosiern]

Trying to get a consistent routine still around here.  I forgot about our kitchen remodel until the cabinets arrived about 2 weeks ago and that has meant a few late BT's.

I think I've finally figured out that I'm the issue.  I've always been so afraid of OT that whenever her schedule gets wacky I overcompensate by pulling her nap earlier rather than pushing it later.  Today I finally saw why she naps so well/long for my husband and MIL.  Here's the last few days as I remember them:

Sun
WU:  730 (she had an EW but must have fell back asleep as she came in our room at this time)
Nap:  130(PD)-415 (I was at work, DH is unsure what time she fell asleep but definitely had to wake her)
BT:  815 (finally fell asleep around 0930)

Mon
WU: EW around 6 (DH must've accidentally set Gro Clock for nap because she didn't come in our room until 845 - I suspect she only slept 45min longer at some point)
Nap:  140-225 (UT? - if she in fact slept later in the morning)
BT:  7 (asleep 815)

Tues
WU: 640
Nap: 1245-230 (had to resettle after 1hr by rocking her)
BT: 7 (asleep 745)

Wed
WU: 645
Nap: 1245-245 (had to resettle after 1hr by rocking her)
BT:  7 (attempted but too much noise from kitchen remodel, finally PD at 815 and asleep by 850)
*very restless during the night and had EW just after 6 but back to sleep until 750

Thur
WU: 750
Nap: 1230 (attempted but wouldn't fall asleep)
*finally napped 145-315 (I woke her to preserve BT)

Looking at these last few days I'm thinking those shorter naps that required resettling were actually UT - she was tired enough when I went in that she fell back asleep but only because I rocked her.  Especially after the 11hr night, she was in such a good mood all morning so I should've kept her up longer and capped it.  Is a 7 hour morning WT reasonable after an 11-hour night for her age?  Also, it seems as though she has the best nights when she is asleep before 8.

[jessmum46]

As I think I probably said before my DD wasn't napping any more at this age!  So yes I would go as late after WU as you like.  But you may be best to just stick with a set(ish) time and cap it if that seems to suit her.  I do think those loooong naps are not helping here, i mean naps as long as some of your DDs rob my 14 month olds' nights!  Honesty I do think she needs a bit more consistency though, you need to get DH on board waking her otherwise your BT resistance/short nights so needing long naps to catch up will probably continue    I'd be allowing probably no more than 1.5h at this age with a 13h day and if she doesn't settle well for bed on that, cut to an hour fairly pronto....