OT and OS 2 month old - APOP does not even work anymore

[ENMS]

Hi!

So my 2 month old was off to a good start but things have been more difficult for her lately, due to my older 2 being at home for the summer holidays! There is a lot of action and as a result, she is OT and OS.

I have one week where DD will be at camp and DS will be at daycare and I want to make the most of this week to help DD settle into a routine and get back on track, sleep in her crib, etc. Then the 2 older kids will be home for the remaining 3 weeks of the summer.

I understand I won't be able to get it all done in a week but I'd like to do as much as possible.

She is not exactly an independent sleeper but up to 2 weeks ago I could lay her down very drowsy and she would fall asleep on her own. She used to take good long naps in her crib, with sometimes a short nap here or there. Right now she is difficult to get down for a nap other than in the carrier. I used to be able to extend a short nap in the swing but now it doesn't work anymore.

I've tried to keep the EASY order at least, but other than that she doesn't have a routine exactly.

Today I'm keeping her in the carrier as much as possible so that she catches up on sleep at least. She has been sleeping on my for 3h now.

What do you suggest as a plan? Would I be better off to work on getting her to recuperate from the OT/OS by keeping her in the carrier, or should I work on getting her to sleep in her crib again? I'm not sure which is best since we have only a week.

thanks!

[ENMS]

Just wanted to add that she is swaddled but she has started crying a lot when we swaddle her in the past few days. She has a pacifier that she uses while awake and for naps when out and about. She never uses the pacifier in her crib but she does fall asleep with it most nights in the evening (she is still with us for the evening and we AP her to sleep at BT as she gets too tired / OS to fall asleep on her own)

[becj86]

TBH Elise, at 2 months, I'd get her caught up in the carrier, maybe try to use that week as one in which you get BT sorted more for her rather than worrying about napping in the crib given she's so young and you've another 3 weeks with the two older children in which you're unable to keep the crib naps thing going. No point changing the game on her for a week if its not going to be consistent thereafter, yk?

Just my 2c... but then I think 5 months is the easiest time to ST if you have a reasonably stable routine and LO is well rested.

[ENMS]

Thanks. I must admit I am very anxious about sleep... My other 2 were definitely sleeping on their own in their crib at this age (without doing any specific sleep training). I try to be easygoing this time but it's hard! She napped in the carrier twice again today so she is catching up nicely!

[nevinsmama]

Just have to say, I agree with pp. I started my son on easy around 10 weeks and, as he was a pretty mellow guy, it went fine. DD was a truly shocking sleeper and I didn't start until 5 months. There is nothing you can do now in the name of keeping sanity that can't be gently corrected later on. It will be OK.

[becj86]

without doing any specific sleep training)

Also without two older siblings home on holidays

It really will be ok xx

[ENMS]

But then, what do I do when there are things that need to be fixed? For me, it's all or nothing, like for example I don't see how I can get rid of a prop that is bothering me without doing the whole perfect EASY routine and without her sleeping in her crib, yk?

There are two things I'd like to work on now, that bother me and that I don't think should stay as is for the next 3 weeks: 1) she is still falling asleep on us in the living room and it's taking us quite some time to get her to fall in a deep sleep. So we're spending our entire evening on this and we would like to have a bit of time to ourselves, yk? But how do I do this? It's not fair to expect her to fall asleep better unless I fix her routine. and 2) I feel like we may have a prop issue with the pacifier / breast. I know she can't fall asleep at night without it, and I give her the breast when she wakes in the evening. Most night she sleeps ok with only 1 NF but some nights (like last night), she wakes a lot - 1:30, 4:30, 6:00 and 7:00 last night for example. I would like to work on independent sleep so that we can get better nights, but again, how do I do that without changing what I do in the day?

Not sure if I am clear, English is not my first language so I know sometimes I don't express myself well.

[becj86]

You're perfectly clear. You could try writing in French is you like but mine is a bit rusty

If you did the EASY routine in the day without the crib naps, you can expect her to fall asleep at a reasonable BT. L would sleep in his cot at BT and through the night very early on even when he wouldn't nap there so babies can form those habits. Its hard to find that balance, I know, but I just see not a lot of point in the angst of ST through the day and night if you're not going to be able to keep it up the next week - you'll end up having to do it all again after those 3 weeks anyway, no?

[ENMS]

Thanks bec.  That helps. We have started trying to put her to sleep in her crib at night and it is going relatively ok. IN fact, I think she was fed up of being in the living room with us because she is more calm in her room than in the living room.

But she is really struggling to fall asleep and to stay asleep recently and it's not improving at all. It takes AGES for her to fall asleep at night and then she wakes after 45 minutes and then every 1h30-2h throughout the night. Even with most naps in the carrier, I assume she is better rested than she was a week ago, but it's actually probably getting worse. Any ideas as to what could have happened other than the OT? I thought it might be pacifier addiction, even though she only ever had it at BT and for naps out and about (it seems like I produce babies that get addicted to pacifiers easily!!). The lactation consultant recommended we stop using the pacifier since we're still having breastfeeding difficulties so I reduced it yesterday and going cold turkey today.  It seems that without the pacifier, she will only settle with me. Last night every time DH tried to get her to fall or stay asleep, she got incredibly frustrated. DH used to be with her in the evening and used a pacifier so I assume she wanted it back. She would try to suck on him, his shoulders, etc, whereas when I would go in and take her, she would relax and just rest her head on my shoulder, so I don't think she really wanted to suck, I think it's just an association. So we'll be going cold turkey today and I hope this will help.

Anything else that could explain her sleep going from so well to so bad in such a short time? I thought maybe a GS but it doesn't really seem to be that either, it's been a week now. Anything else you would do? For today I am planning to make her take all naps in the carrier and trying to have a great EASY.

[ENMS]

So APOP does not even work well anymore. She did not sleep great in the carrier today and I just don't know what to do anymore? How do I get her back from being OT? Usually her days are not bad but it's night sleep that is really bad so I guess she can't recuperate and her OT is getting worse and worse.

[*Liz*]

Is it a wonder week? There is one between 7.5 and 9.5 weeks of age (from due date). Sleep often falls apart for the leaps.

Personally (from the POV of a mama with 2 school age kids home for summer - and a baby) I'm not sure there is all that much you can do  . My 8 month old is a bit of a mess as well, but it is just so loud and noisy at home, and he just wants to join in  . Big kids have to be taken out and about don't they?

That said though - my DS slept in arms at 2 months of age - and he sleeps in his crib now and falls asleep independently with a WD (and the help of a bit of white noise). It does all come together if you are half mindful of where you need to end up. My DS isn't perfect - he has reflux and CMPI and was prem - but he is far from the worst 8 month old I have come across.

[ENMS]

Thanks Liz! How in the world did you get stuff done with the other 2 while having baby nap on you! Wow! I did it for about a month but soon I found I did not have enough time to do everything if I continued!

Wonder week makes A LOT of sense. Makes me feel much better. I hate not understanding what is going on. I don't mind if I don't have it 'right', but not knowing what is happening is driving me nuts.

She is almost back to normal today. Definitely more relaxes, and she sleeps better. Much better actually. She even had an ok night. Woke more than usual, but at least we were able to resettle her easily, and she went in her crib from 7:30 PM so that is really a lot of progress!! Hopefully we don't ruin anything with the kids being home for the next 3 weeks but we don't really have a choice so we'll try to get through making everyone happy!

[becj86]

Glad she's sleeping better. Those pesky leaps can be such a hurdle! Best of luck and FX for you for the next few weeks. xx