7 wk struggling to start EASY

[Bebebear]

Hi everyone. I have a 2.8 yo DS1 and a 7 wk yo DD2. I'm struggling to start DD2 on EASY. She is formula fed and taking 100-150ml every 3-4hrs depending on how much she takes or when she wakes etc. DD2 doesn't sleep on her own and I have to hold her to sleep and if she's had a good feed she could sleep for 3hrs in my arms. If I attempt to put her down after falling asleep in my arms she wakes soon after and needs to be resettled. If she becomes OT she won't sleep well even if I am holding her and then I may have to feed her early but she won't take much and then of course won't sleep well making a mess of things.

I've been reading through the sample routines but I'm so confused. I see some have catnaps and feeds either side. If DD2 only drinks every 3-4hrs how would I do that catnap to take me to bedtime as that would mean I would have to feed her after 2hrs. I know she is too young right now but I want to work out an EASY to aim towards. I'm all over the place at the moment and feel that my holding her is making things even harder as I resettle her quickly with a few pats but if she was sleeping independently then maybe her sleep times would make way for a more realistic routine. Please help me figure out a routine. Should I be starting my day at the same time regardless of what time she fell asleep? When should I sleep train? DS1 was a horrible sleeper which makes this even more daunting and scary as his sleep issues consumed me. Any suggestions would be great. Thank you!

[Martini~]

Hello Hon! Quick answers to your questions:
- no, it's not too early for easy:) but remember that easy is not a schedule but a routine of eating-activity-sleeping
- feeding every 3h would be better and even with formula I would stick to 3h feeds to motivate her to take more calories during day
- independent sleep is a great thing and you already can start with a shhh-pat method; it will means a lot of your assistance but it pays off later and instead of a proper sleep training at older age which usually means more tears you have a baby who you assist less and less when going to sleep
- I don't know where is the problem with sample routine... normal it would go like that in the evening:
4pm waking from a nap and feed
Between 5 and 6 nap of 45min
Another E around 7/7:30pm, you can do it before or after bath or so a split feed between and after bath

[Bebebear]

Thank you for the reply! I will stick to 3hr feeds, she was feeding more during her 6 week growth spurt but she has eased back now. I'm finding it hard to keep to her A time only because I have to hold her to sleep and sometimes I have to out her down to tend to DS1 and then she's up and won't settle again. Sometimes she's awake before her eyes are even closed while she's in my arms and this will continue for hours. I think she will be OT forever.

[Martini~]

Having a toddler running around makes everything much more diffucult.

My comment re feeding and sticking to 3h - doing less if baby is hungry is perfectly fine, so follow her hunger cues and definitely offer more frequent or bigger feeds during growth sports. What I meant was not to push to 4h too quickly as she may go for 4h, but overall less feeds during day may mean less milk during 12h day and more milk during night. Go for 3.5-4h feeds when she is not interested in feeding after 3h.

[lily_layne]

Go for 3.5-4h feeds when she is not interested in feeding after 3h.

This is what I did with DS. He was rarely interesting in a feed after 3 hours. It was usually 4/4.5 and it didn't seem to impact feeding at night. I didn't wake him unless it had been 4 hours since he last ate.

At that age, I didn't start each day at the same time but some mom's do like to for the predictability. I also gave up on trying to establish a predictable routine (as much as I would have loved one.) It can require a lot of effort to get there and with a 2yo in the mix, it was easier to just go with the flow. DS did a lot of sling and stroller naps (and was rocked and nursed to sleep often) and still sleep trained fairly easily farther down the road.

[Bebebear]

Thank you for the replies. Apologies for taking so long to reply my days have been so hectic!! Yes a toddle changes everything!! DD2 feeding is everywhere. I've been doing 3hrs but when she short naps and she is due for another nap before her feed I feed her anyway and she doesn't take much but won't sleep unless she has some milk so then isn't hungry for her next feed. Am I making her into a snacker?

I was trying to start the day at the same time but you're right it's just too hard and stressful. When did you eventually start sleep training and did you do anything in the early days to prepare for it?

[lily_layne]

Am I making her into a snacker?

Nope. Sometimes it's just what you need to do to get through the day. She is little yet so if any habits do form it will be relatively easy to change them. I really tried to give up the idea of a 3 hr feeding "schedule" with DS and  it really helped my sanity.

When did you eventually start sleep training and did you do anything in the early days to prepare for it?

I think it was around 8 weeks that I started putting DS down in his crib (or the swing) with the paci rather than rocking to sleep (he was still fairly drowsy though) but if it didn't work, I nursed or rocked him to sleep. I did try to keep at least one nap/day in the crib so he was used to it, but as I said there were lots in the swing, sling and stroller.

[Bebebear]

Hi. Yea I think I'm going to give up on the 3hr feeding too. DD is just all over the place. Though she takes more at night I've noticed but during the day I just can't seem to make her drink more.

DD will be 8 weeks soon so maybe I should start  working towards my end goal of her sleeping on her own. Her first nap is the easiest. Maybe coz she isn't OT. She sleeps in the bouncer ok but won't sleep in her bed. Why does she transition so well thru her sleep cycles for that first nap and not her others. It makes me think she can sleep on her own but I don't know how to transfer that to the bed. Guess she will get better as she gets older. I might try the first nap in her bed from now on and that will be my one nap and I will apop the rest. Or do you think since she does so well for her first nap just let her sleep in the bouncer so I can do things and spend time with DS1 and then try for her second nap? She doesn't settle in the bouncer for her second nap but does in my arms.

[lily_layne]

does she transition so well thru her sleep cycles for that first nap and not her others.

Why does she transition so well thru her sleep cycles for that first nap and not her others.

This is actually totally normal - the first nap develops first. The other naps will get better as she gets older.

I might try the first nap in her bed from now on and that will be my one nap and I will apop the rest. Or do you think since she does so well for her first nap just let her sleep in the bouncer so I can do things and spend time with DS1 and then try for her second nap?

I would try the first nap in the bed for a few days to see how it goes and APOP the rest. If it doesn't go well, pop her back in the bouncer and enjoy time with DS1 and see how she does for the second nap (or the third or fourth - whichever one is the CN).

[Bebebear]

Thanks for the reply and again sorry for my late response. I will try and work on the naps and see how I go. Thank you. Thinks are crazy here. I don't think I can handle holding her all day and night anymore. I might start sleep training soon. Just have no other option. Thanks again for your help.

[lily_layne]

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