4.5 mo so restless at night. Desperate mummy!

[mummyW]

Hi all we are having some serious issues and wondering if there is any way to help.
My lo is 4.5 months old (5 months on the 29th) she has silent reflux and is on omeprazole 10mg and gaviscon.
She has never been the best sleeper, always needs held or rocked to sleep as for the first 6 weeks she slept upright on me. She sleeping in a crib tilted at one end and is still swaddled.
About 3 weeks ago she fell into her own routine feeding 4 hourly (7, 11, 3, 7) and a dream feed at 10pm and sleeping through the night weakening up fussy at 6/6.30 am. This lasted for 9 days and then it all turned.

She is still feeding the same during the day but has started weakening up at night. She starts thrashing about and whimpering/ moaning and then gets out her swaddle. When she gets her arms free she wakes herself up. I have been lifting her and putting her next to me on bed and having to hold her dummy in as she can't keep it in herself. She is continuously unsettled, every time the dummy falls out she starts thrashing about again and wakes again. I am at my wits end, I am probably getting about 4-5 hours broken sleep a night and my mental health is really suffering.

The health visitor yesterday told me I need to stop swaddling as she can almost roll over, I have no idea how she's going to sleep now! I tried a sleeping bag one night two weeks ago and she didn't sleep at all. The wonderful health visitor also told me I need to let her fall asleep on her own, my first did that and it would be wonderful but I don't see it happening.

If anyone could please offer any help I would be more than grateful.

[shinysarah]

Hi first of all, hugs!!!!!!
4.5 months can be tricky anyhow without your LO being a reflux baby.
Ok, with regards to the swaddle. Can I ask, do you feel that she's ready to roll over? By this point her arms should have stopped flailing as much so you could go one arm at a time and there's lots of threads on here about best way to wean swaddle. If you don't feel she's ready for that but IYO she needs to lose the swaddle then there are other type of bags out there, rather than your standard sleeping bag which kind of act as a half way, for example, there's a swaddle up bag which is pretty good.
It's ok for your HV to say 'let her fall asleep by herself'- that's easier said than done! How does she go down at nights?
The night wakes could be a developmental thing, could be that she wants out of her swaddle...it is positive that she's sleeping in the crib now rather than on you! Take that positive!

[mummyW]

Hi thanks for your reply,
She's managing to roll right onto her side so I don't think she's far off rolling over although doesn't do this in her sleep. I've been trying to wean the swaddle using the Aussie swaddle method, it worked well the first night as she slept until her usual 4am but last night she managed to u swaddle and was wide awake at 2.30.

I think we're having two separate issues, waking at 4am is reflux related I'm sure as she's fidgety and crying out in pain in her sleep intermittently for up to 2 hours. And then just general nw's.

When she initially wakes up (other than at 4am) she makes a lot of noise but isn't upset, she gets upset when she gets tired again after about an hour. Should I be  re swaddling her and trying to resettle her as soon as she wakes? She will take a dummy but will not keep it in herself, do I therefore try sssh/pat?

She also doesn't sleep for longer than 35-40 minutes during the day, is there anyway to help her into the next sleep cycle?

Thanks again. My hubby and I are both just totally drained! Xx

[weaver]

Hey hun, there's a big GS at 4 mo, do you think she might be waking hungry? Obviously sth that needs to be handled v carefully with reflux in the mix. The reappearance of NWs often is linked to either a need for routine change or GS.

[mummyW]

Thanks weaver, I'm pretty sure she's not hungry. She normally wouldn't settle without a bottle if she was hungry and will happily wait a while after she wakes in the morning before crying for a feed. My husband thinks we should offer a bottle but I'm reluctant to reintroduce it in case she becomes reliant on it for comfort.

We've had a horrible day today with naps only lasting 30-40 minutes at best. I've tried continuing to wean the swaddle and tonight both hand were up but after falling asleep at 8pm she's already been awake twice. I'm really struggling with this, my first was such a great independent sleeper from this age. I've been in tears all day, I don't know what else to do.

[shinysarah]

I agree with Weaver...maybe you need to tweak the day to sort these short naps?
If she does feed through the night, how much does she take if you offer it?
If she's not hungry and you're sticking with the swaddle then reswaddle her and settle her. It's important to go to bed with a plan so when/if she wakes you already have it in your head what you're doing.

[mummyW]

Ok so this morning I put her down and she woke after 20 minutes, I used sssh/pat and got her back to sleep within 5 minutes and she then slept for a further 45 minutes, so maybe had an hour total. It's not the easiest environment to get her back over to sleep as I have a 26 month old who comes along and at the top of her voice asks "is emmy sleeping?" Haha.

From reading the boars I think to fix things at night I need to get her to be able to get herself into the next sleep cycle, is that right?  And to do that we work on the naps during the day?

She's now getting out the swaddle every night,  several times. If we went cold turkey and into a sleeping bag do you think she would get used to it or am I just setting myself up to fail?

She got out the swaddle for the 3rd time last night at 2am and I ended up lifting her into our bed, we're basically co-sleeping every night now which I really don't want to be doing.

[shinysarah]

I would make a plan for her day naps and be consistent with it and decide what you're going to do re the swaddle. If she's waking because she's getting out of it maybe she's trying to tell you something? I know this doesn't help but I'm having a similar struggle with my 4.5 LO!

[mummyW]

Thanks for your reply Sarah. Thought I would give a little update, I've continued swaddling her at night so that I get some sleep. She seems to still have a very prominent startle reflex that disturbs her when she's falling asleep and also when she's wakening.

I've also been putting her down for all naps and at night and using ssh/pat to settle her. She's doing really well and normally settles within 5-10 minutes. I'm amazed at this as she's always been rocked or held to sleep due to her reflux.

I've also been trying to get her through to the next sleep cycle using "pressure at the jolts" and the ssh/pat and for the first time this morning (after 4 days) I managed and she slept a total of 1hr 25 minutes. I had to be in the room for 30 minutes but I'm viewing it as a really good start.

Also been trying to get her into an EASY routine which is going well depending on the length of naps.

Hopefully things will continue to improve with the naps and then the sleeping. I'll keep you posted. Thanks all. Xx