21mo eating only his fav and milk

[Bella89]

Hi,
I think I got stuck with usual trouble at this age:
-no veggies
-only apples and bananas
-his favorite dishes - polish pierogi (potato and cottage cheese inside dough), bread

There is really little he eats. Loves cow's milk. Started screaming for milk at 4am (he is not NF since he is 8mo). He is a skinny baby, ped says could gain 2-5 lbs (now 25,5). He doesn't like when I feed him, but eats little by himself. When my mom or MIL feed him he eats whatever and everything:( I put him in a high chair, give him fork or spoon.
Let me tell you how it looks:
4am milk (past 2 days)
7-9 breakfast (eats little scrambled eggs, bread with butter, he doesn't like any additions, kid's cereal)
11 snack
1-3 nap
4 dinner, but he eats little, I use to cook more, but I got so tired of food landing in the trash. When i cook for the whole family without much salt it doesn't help much. He tries, but no more than 4 bites.
6 I try to give his something, sandwich mostly
Sometimes he would have cup of milk at 7 and than 8, sometimes just 8. On the days when he doesn't eat I give him 2 cups:/
9pm sleep.

I used to cook and bake so much, but now I just don't. I got so discouraged. He is just not into tasting things i.e. if something is to colorful he wouldn't even taste a thing. That get's me so frustrated:( I spend 2h baking a carrot cake and he wouldn't even try:(

I think him asking for milk at 4 is because he is thirsty and MAYBE a little hungry from not eating during the day. Plus my AP made him think it's ok.

I need some good words and guidance. Maybe some good recipes to try?
I would appreciate it.
Thanks!

[michaeljacknnugg]

I think he might be hungry. Would it help to have a comparison? This is my 11mo

Up around 6, BF
7ush breakfast
9ish snack
10ish BF, nap some time after that (very variable, we are in the 2-1)
12ish lunch
2ish BF
3ish snack
5ish dinner
Bedtime BF around 6.30pm

I'm not too fussed about how much he eats each time because I'm offering food very frequently. Tonight he sat in the highchair whilst I mixed up some home made mincemeat (for Christmas) and tried all the ingredients. Lots of exposure to food and cooking makes food a less pressured thing, ime.

[Bella89]

Hmm, I know what you're trying to say here, and deep down I think you are right, but here is what I think:
When I give him something I know he liked not so long ago, and he refuses, I don't offer anything else instead. So if he says no, I take him down from the highchair thinking "he will eat when he is ready". Some times it probably ends with him being hungry and angry at me, because I didn't give him the right thing.
Also, at this age he communicated almost all his needs (the ones he realizes), so if I offer 5 meals a day and water very frequently I figured he would tell me if he is hungry:/
I think the main thing is if he doesn't like something we skipp te whole meal because I don't want him to eat the same stuff over and over again. I would love for him to learn new tastes and variety too
What would you do? Keep him full rather than understand he needs to eat different things?
Do you know where I am coming fromwith this?

[creations]

Bella, I wonder if you know what your mum and MIL do differently which motivates him to eat? And not only eat but eat anything they offer?

I would offer lunch at 12 so there is another opportunity to eat earlier in the day.

If you cook family meals without salt etc, how about keeping a portion aside until lunch time the next day?  He might be more willing to eat earlier in the day. Only put out a little bit at a time so you don't feel like there is lots of waste.  During times of mine having less of an appetite I would have a serving bowl but only put out one or two pieces onto DS's plate, then more if he wanted it, if not then my serving bowl was still clean and could be put away for the next day.

I totally understand that you don't want to keep giving the same foods or let him hold out for certain favourite foods and not eat a variety.  Have you tried putting out a little buffet style meal with say 1 vegetable wedge, a piece of cheese, a half slice of bread, a slice of apple, a slice of pear, a piece of cucumber.  When there is a small portion of something you know he likes, such as bread he won't be holding out for it but might have some then try out one of the other foods.  Maybe you already tried this?

recipe idea - banana bread (like a cake) or banana french toast which is banana mashed until it is think and sloppy, then soak bread in it, then fry it (it's a no egg eggy-bread).  Just thinking if he likes bread and likes banana this could be something to try out. It doesn't get any *different* foods into him from a nutritional point of view however starting with foods he likes but presented in a different way can be a good opener to trying new foods.

[Bella89]

Oh wow So many good ideas to try !

We definitely need to try a buffet, sounds like a great plan of action
I will let you know how it goes with that.

I partially know what it is they do - similar to why he is a good boy when I am not there and they take care of him, but when I am there with them he would not leave me for a second - he is shy and afraid when mommy is not there, so is afraid to refuse. Does this make sense?
Also, they put him in their lap rather than chair, do flying spoon right into his mouth just to put a bite in there. I don't know if this makes any sense:/ 

[Shiv52]

One thing I would change up is letting him down when he says no. I'd say 'it's lunch time so we stay at the table'. I never forced mine to eat but I didn make them Stay at the table while I ate.  Start with short times then build up. The buffet type thing works well there too.

How much milk is he drinking in a day?  Very often that's a huge contributor to not eating foods.

[Bella89]

10oz in the morning and 10-15 at BT. Is that too much you think?

Another is, do you think I could freeze banana bread in small portions? I could then spread 1 loaf in time

[creations]

I used to freeze mini banana muffins, I see no reason not to freeze banana bread.

[Shiv52]

Yes id say that's too much milk when he's not eating properly.  I would cut that morning milk right back as there is no way he'd be hungry after drinking 10oz of milk.  At this age I'd just be getting up and having breakfast and giving a sippy of milk or water.

I provide meals similar to what we're having if not exactly the same and do not make something else if they refuse. I will provide a few things though so there's always something they like.

I do think a combination of cutting back the milk and creating meal times where he needs to stay at the table will help increase what he is eating for sure.

I started minding my friends DS last year when he was 2yo And he ate nothing but toast and Nutella. But he also drank 20oz of juice every day. Together we cut out the juice but reducing it then only allowing it with meals. Within a couple of weeks he was eating properly at meal times. We couldn't believe the juice was having such an impact so I imagine milk is more filling.

Hugs x

[Bella89]

So I cut morning milk for 5 days now and I am allowing juice only once a day (at lunch).
Honestly, I can't say if the situation got better or stayed the same. Yesterday he has full breakfast, and I was really happy about it, but then he had nothing at lunch and dinner (even when we all sat down for meals with our guests). Today, he barely ate something at breakfast but then ate 10pc of pasta at launch and 1pc of apple pie when up from his nap (I would say that was plenty comparing to other meals).

I think he slowly is improving. Teething gave us a break too, because he sleeps better:)
Tomorrow is banana bread day:)

[Shiv52]

It will take a little time to transfer over to good intake. I always remember reading toddlers take in most of their calories before 3pm so not to worry too much about dinner and that was always true for mine. I still gave them dinner with us but mine tended to eat most at breakfast, lunch and 2pm snack.

[creations]

Yes I've also seen lots of toddlers eating more in the earlier hours of the day.
Are you offering a morning snack in addition to breakfast and lunch?  It can feel a bit out of balance giving several meals earlier in the day rather than eating at dinner later on but could help.

I wonder if you've looked into outside help? Have you spoken with a doctor or paediatric dietician?

[Bella89]

Hi there, sorry I didn't write back sooner.Busy time at work.

So he is eating much more lately, that's for sure. Fruit is in top two, but I am veeeery happy:) I think milk was the issue, he drunk the whole cup in the morning, so as full lunch time I guess. Now, we have full breakfast (sandwich with different things, eggs, dry cereal, you name it) second breakfast (fruit, yogurt) and 2 small lunches around the nap. He sometimes is so full that even after 2-3h drinks only 1/2 cup of milk at BT. That is so much better. He is more likely to try new things too. Imagine my face when I saw him eating lentil soup and he liked it !!!! First veggie in his mouth in 2 months!!!

Yes, I asked 2 doctors about it, both said it might be teething or just a phase since his tests came back good. We also had an incident when he drunk a whole bottle of vitamin D which might have caused his lack of appetitte from what I read online (my doctor denied it). But I guess it's over.

Thank you!!!

[creations]

Oh dear drinking a whole bottle of vit D doesn't sound advisable, but I have no clue how it might effect appetite.

It sounds like this are going great though. Lentil soup hey? Brilliant