1yo very frustrated at meal times

[ENMS]

Hi! Can't believe we're already on the toddler boards!!

My DD2 just turned 1 and she's been very frustrated at meal times for the past week or two.  She did not take to BLW and had (still has) weight issues so we ended up spoon feeding her. First purees, and then very lumpy food (I would basically just mash it with a fork). She was doing great and was enjoying every meal. Then she got sick and since then she's been extremely frustrated at meal times.  We've always offered finger foods as well at meal times, cooked veggies, pasta, meatballs, etc. Most of it ends up on the floor. Recently she's also been frustrated and not even really tasting / trying to eat the food. Sometimes after a few tries she will.

I think now she wants to be independent and feed herself. But she's not able to do so yet so I'm wondering how I can help her. I continue to offer her the foods she can eat herself. Most times though now she is frustrated and not happy about it. She throws it on the floor, etc.  I offer spoon feeding her as well but she's very frustrated. We don't push but offer a few times and usually by the 3rd or 4th try she will accept. But she does not take in a lot.

So it seems like she's frustrated either way. The Dr is worried beause she is going down in percentiles still. I try not to stress too much about it but obviously would like her to eat more and also be less frustrated. Most meals are as a family, although sometimes lunch is not because of her nap schedule. But she's screaming the place down sometimes at dinner which makes it hard to have a conversation with the older kids.

Any advice?

[michaeljacknnugg]

DS2 is loving food offered on a fork! I stab it and then hand the fork to him and he nibbles/sucks at it. Would she go for that, do you think?

[creations]

Is there something sweet like fresh fruit or dried fruit which she likes, a kind of "go to" which you know she'd want?  When mine had a phase of being a bit off his food I found if I put a few sultanas on his plate he'd go to those first and it would really get his appetite started, then he'd eat well but without the sultanas to get him going he'd seem to just not be hungry.

I would say at this age she is capable of bringing a spoon or fork to her mouth even if she can't stab or scoop the food herself, it's a skill like any other which takes practise but if you encourage her or do hand over hand a few times this might help to reduce the frustration as she may feel more like she is feeding herself but getting the help she needs.

Mine liked to have proper cutlery, not baby cutlery. Perhaps that would help?  I got the kids stainless steel set which looks just like adult cutlery but is smaller and lighter for little hands.

At 1yo I saw a significant drop in appetite with mine (enough to be a bit concerned) and then discovered that many 1yos have this. It's like they just don't need the same calories any more.  Then the appetite picked up again around the time he started walking more and climbing etc.  Perhaps this is having an impact too?  A natural drop in appetite?

Another phase I noticed was one where my DS no longer trusted the food on his plate.  It was around a developmental leap and whilst other aspects of his understanding of the world were changing it brought with it a distrust of food.  Just like a court jester I 'checked' every pile of food for His Majesty ( ) and said "mmm, no poison there, that's good, let me check this, mmm, yes that one is good".  Honestly once I had checked he tucked right in! Although it went on several weeks it was only a phase and he got over it.  Might be worth a thought?

[*Liz*]

Is she teething? My DS2 eats almost nothing when he has sore teeth - and then has a huge growth spurt as soon as they are in. He was never really puree fed, but not proper BLW either. He feeds himself everything really these days.

[Lindsay27]

This is probably really bad advice so apologies in advance...

When my DS was going through this phase right around the same age we would set the laptop up in front of him and play a Baby Einstein movie and it was enough to distract him and he'd just kind of munch away mindlessly.  It can be a slippery slope obviously, but we did take it away when these phases were over, absolutely no issues now he sits at the table and eats with us together as a family.  He just really needed something to distract him and keep his brain focused.  And I agree we went through a period where I only gave him his favourite meals, I swear he ate blueberry pancakes every day for a while.  I'd mostly do that for breakfast and lunch and dinner was whatever we were eating, as long as he ate 1 good/decent meal I was happy.

[Martini~]

Firstly I second what Creations said about age. Around 1yo DS stopped eating large amount of food. Really his appetite dropped. Secondly after illnesses and because of teething we had 1-2months of worse appetite so maybe you are at that phase.

I don't remember but is she bottle fed?

[ENMS]

Thank you for all the advice! Wonderful advice all around!

So we've started putting food on a fork for her and she is loving it. She really wants control, and she also really wants to do like us. I am still a little wary because she moves her arms a lot with the fork in her hands but we try to explain and remove the fork when she does that and she seems to be doing better. She's so funny she's in a booster with the tray on, but she makes a point of putting her food on the table and then picking it up to eat it. I guess we'll need to remove the tray soon enough and let her eat from the table!

I don't think she is teething, her front upper teeth cut maybe 2-3 weeks ago and I don't see any new ones.

I do remember one of my other having an appetite drop at 1 yo. It does make sense, I guess her being such a tiny weight is worrying me but so long as she's happy and growing I guess I need to let it go.

Lindsay maybe I can try that for lunchtime as it would not go unnoticed with DD1 and DS haha!!! I will most definitely keep it in mind and use it if things continue to go bad.

Marta she is BF, I feed her 3 times a day and gets a bottle of goat's milk with the morning snack. We do notice that her diapers are not very full at all, not sure if that is normal at this age, I'm sure she's not getting quite enough of fluids, we offer water at mealtimes too but she doesn't take much.

[michaeljacknnugg]

I've just ordered a MAM cutlery set that comes with a fork, maybe look into something like that? It's all plastic and designed for BLW.