Toddler only eats with phone

[Anyar605]

New here.  My son is 2 years old and will only eat if he can watch iPhone videos.  My MIL started the habit after I went back to work and now that he's 2 he not only will eat without it but won't open his mouth until he sees a video he likes which changes a lot.  He will turn his head and smile when we hold out the spoon and the thing is we feed him every 3 hours so he is hungry and he still does that we even tried 4 hours!    It takes about an hour to eat even slightly pureed foods because he is playing and distracted by his toys

I'm not sure what to do.  He also has to constantly have something in both of his hands while eating and it can't be the food he is eating

He is getting early intervention speech and OT starting October (early intervention already started in July) because he has a Lang delay and I'm
Not sure if that had to do with his eating because he won't swallow foods that are not crispy and thin

Anyways yesterday I went cold turkey and stopped everything.  He didn't complain etc or anything and all he has eaten since Friday morning is 2 containers of yogurt and maybe less than 2 cups of Cheerios.  A few bites of veggie cheese casserole which he usually scarfs down

He's been drinking more milk and his more than content with that

I dread feeding him please advise

[barbaraz78]

Why are you still feeding him? At 2 yo he should be able to feed himself. He might be bored because he should be occupied feeding himself with finger foods if not with spoon and fork. I would just put the food in front of him and let him eating what he wants while you eat with him (so he has your example to follow).

[Mama2boys]

also, try and eat with him, I know its not always easy because of work etc. but try weekends, bfast, whatever you can manage.

eg: I split my dinner into 2, half with kids, half with DH, on some days.

[michaeljacknnugg]

At 2yo I would expect a child to be on the same meals as you (my 10mo is, largely) and to feed himself. I'd just stop, offer things you know he likes and wait. Normal amounts of milk only.

[barbaraz78]

Agree with PP about the milk. I would not increase milk intake, otherwise you risk that he relies on it to increase his caloric intake, which at this age you don't really want.

[Mama2boys]

completely agree abt milk.

Also, I know it feels desperate right now, but if you are consistent, your child will catch up to what should normally be acceptable with a 2yo wrt eating meals, unless of course there is a medical reason. If you give in, he will continue to take the easiest route. I am not for force feeding a child, but I had a picky eater, and our way was different, that being said he ate the usual stuff, just a limited variety. Do keep in mind, kids NEVER starve themselves willingly.

What was the reason for continuing on purees for so long? was it because he did not eat anything else? or was it just the way it happened? Asking because if there is a lang delay, and food issues, there could possibly be a medical reason like a tongue-tie or something else. Worth chatting to the therapist and a doc.

I am not a doc so the above is all base don my gut instinct or how my brain works!

[Shiv52]

Hugs xx


How much milk is he drinking?

[Anyar605]

He does not swallow solids unless they are crispy (chips, crackers, cereal, etc)

He will spit stuff out or needs water to swallow non crispy solids

He doesn't like anything either than crispy things touching his hands and gets super upset if you place a spoon with the food that he is eating.  He screams etc

We always eat together

He drinks 24 oz of milk a day

[Hedgehog17]

Hugs 

He sounds very much like my DS at that age! He wasn't managing lumps either, nor could he feed himself. He was eventually diagnosed as hypermobile, and on the autistic spectrum with sensory issues, so it's worth getting the OT to look into that.

We also had to distract him to get food into him as he just wasn't interested in eating  He still isn't that interested but it has got better year upon year.

I would continue to approach this as a developmental delay, so throw out the book of age-related expectations! Not all kids 'should' be feeding themselves or eating adult meals at age 2, there will be valid reasons why he is not, and you need assessment to find out what those reasons are 

However, you can still make progress (albeit slow) by introducing new foods as part of a game (my DS loved numbers and counting, so we'd introduce finger foods that way). At his age sorting games are good too.

I wouldn't let his calories drop, nor would I suddenly stop all the distractions, just try to make it something other than a screen! You can buy funky divided plates where they can munch through a little bit of food in each section to make it to the next, or do 1 bite then he gets to hold a toy for a bit.

It's a long process, but DS was eating relatively normally by 4yo, and in the last year has got much more adventurous. The sensory stuff has also reduced considerably 

Hang on in there 

[Anyar605]

Thanks for your support and advice.

I inquired about autism at 18 months, did the MCHAT in which he receievd a score of 5, and had him evaluated too.

They just said he had a speech delay and his doc is not too worried about autism because he doesn't have the major red flags:

He responds to his name
Engages in play with others
Is very social
Has good eye contact
Follows directions (when he wants to)
has started gesturing
Purposely tries to make people laugh (so cute)
loves to be the center of attn

What he doesn't do:
no words really (just babbles a lot)
does not use a lot of non verbal cues consistantly (the early interventionist is teaching him sign lang.)

[Hedgehog17]

He doesn't have to be on the autistic spectrum to have sensory issues.

If he's reacting badly to certain textures and to having things on his hands, then he's definitely got some issues there! Again it's an OT evaluation, and then just lots of encouragement with messy play and gentle exposure to textures to help him with this.

Look up sensory processing disorder and see if he's showing any other signs 

WRT autism you'd never know my DS is on the spectrum as he's very high functioning. His struggles are with social interactions such as conflict resolution with other kids - if they are mean to him he crumples up and cries and can't deal with it  He was only diagnosed at 4yo - at 2yo he would not have been diagnosed as his behaviour was within normal parameters eccept for the sensory stuff!

Keep getting help for your DS, you are doing the right things 

[Anyar605]

It's so hard because everyone always asks why are you spoon feeding him why are you blending foods

We stopped blending of all foods and he stopped swallowing unless given water

[Mama2boys]

how about if you slowly start reducing how puree like it is, so maybe to the blend a little chunky and build from there

[creations]

Hi there
I'm not sure where you are or what services are available etc but I would be asking for a referral to a dietician.  Where I live in teh UK this would mean first a visit to the GP to describe the problems with eating and then asking for a referral on to a paediatrician and/or paediatric dietician.  I am  not a health professional but I think sometimes the dieticians and OTs work together on plans to help LOs with sensory and eating.
I would not struggle with this alone.  Like pps have said at 2yo he would be expected to take regular meals if he can't then I suggest seeking professional support to work out why and where to go from here.  it may be physical, it may be something developmental, it may be a combination of things. The professionals in these fields do know so much more.

[Shiv52]

I agree with contacting your GP again

24oz of milk is a lot of fluid in a day and Id say that is likely contributing as he's just not getting hungry enough to eat. I'd probably start cutting that amount back and just work on him eating bigger amounts of the stuff he will eat even if you need to help him. Maybe encourage him dipping bread or pancakes etc in to the purees he likes.