22 month old gotten into bad habits

[hayleystar]

Hi all, I'm needing some help with my 22 month old daughter. A month ago we moved to my mums while our kitchen gets renovated. Before this she would go to sleep in her cot for a day sleep (for about one hour) and her night sleep.

We have gotten into the habit of sitting in the room with her at mums and now she cannot go to sleep by herself.  And now for the last week she absolutely screams when put down for her day sleep. I'm talking screaming, trying to climb out of the cot and making herself throw up for over an hour until I get her up. It's very upsetting.

She wakes about 6.45 for the day and I start her day sleep at 12.30, she screams until 1.30 then I get her up. As its too late for a sleep then.  I start her night routine at 7.30 and am lucky if she's asleep by 8"

She used to go straight to sleep, I really don't know what to do, please help

[hayleystar]

Forgot to add she's been waking in the night and cries off and on for an hour or two with me making shushing sounds and sometimes patting her

[Martini~]

Hi Honey, it must be really exhausting for you! And for her too probably:)!

So what do you do during this hour when she screams? It seem that you have probably two factors going on: independent sleep but also UT/OT playing a role. I would start from getting helping her get out of that OT loop. It means to stay with her for a nap and let her sleep. If you are already doing that and she still doesn't want to sleep can you start a sleep routine later? My DS around 2yo was going to sleep around 1pm already and it's common for children needing by their nap to be moved a tad earlier so to make them tired enough. If she is so wired for the first dad I would try to make a catch up nap in the car if she would go to sleep at all. If nothing works definitely go for an earlier bedtime. I would say that 12h day is a maks for her but many kiddos needs even more to sleep soundly.

After two - three days, you can go for setting independent sleep skills and here I would probably go for wiwo if she was an IS before but if she gets wired and can scream bloody murder for 30min + even being put after 1pm I would start from GW, so slowly moving your chair towards door.

Is th advice feasible for you?

[hayleystar]

Thank you so much for your reply.nits really nice to have some support as I feel lost as to what to do. I have been staying with her while she goes to sleep, but this takes FOREVER at night and sometimes she doesn't even fall asleep for her nap.

I will try starting her nap at 1 as she has always needed less sleep than other children her age, but you're right, she's now over tired!

[hayleystar]

Ok, so I have been trying a 1pm nap time and this is working well. I still have to pat her/stay in the room while she goes off but it only takes around 10 minutes with very little fussing. She sleeps about 1.5 hours.  However at night times she's taking forever to go off to sleep. Tonight it was an hour and 10 minutes and I had to sit there and pat her the entire time. She wasn't upse as long as I kept patting but just awake. I put her down at 7.30pm.
I'm wondering if her nap is too long? Or is she out growing her day sleep? Help!
Plus she's still waking tons at night

[Martini~]

Can you obce again post your schedule? Current and the one which was working previously?

[hayleystar]

Old schedule before we moved into mums

6.15am wake up
12.30 nap for 1 to 1.5 hours
6.30pm in bed, straight to sleep by herself and usually sleep all night

Current schedule

6.45am wake up
1pm nap (moved from 12.30 as she was refusing to sleep), 1.5 hours
7.30pm, in bed, usually asleep by 8.30
Lots of night waking, asking me to pat her back to sleep 😡

I wanted to add as well that she was having trouble settling to sleep ever since we moved to mums about 5 weeks ago. So I don't think the later nap is the sole cause of her struggling to fall asleep at night time

[Martini~]

Are you sure she was going straight to sleep before? As ie my DS would be quite at home from 7pm till 7:30/7:45 when he finally nods off but when we are at my mums he will refuse bedtime as he is not used to slow settling process in a new place. Thinking loudly 1.5h nap can be a lot for a 2.5yo and not even a 13h day. My DS is rather ASN and to preserve 7pm bedtime we had to cap nap to 45min and he still sleeps from 7:30/7:45 till 6:45/7:00. Average we have now 12h of sleep per 24h (maybe 12.5 on a off day). With 1.5h and 6:45pm bedtime we would probably aim for 8pm bedtime being honest. If you don't want to cap a nap - have you thought of later BT?

[hayleystar]

Thanks! Think I would rather have a shorter nap so might try waking her and see how that goes. She has always needed less sleep than others her age so maybe a 40 min nap is all she needs

[Martini~]

It's just a guess but I would think of it. I would try to cap and after 3 days you can assess the results. It might be a wrong or right suggestion but remember you need time to find a assess results. Calling may also result in OT so be ready for it. We have capped at 45min and it was a good move, no NWs until 6am when he can wake but will go back to sleep without problem until 7am. Still waking after 45min is difficult and I think I could go for even less but am afraid that it will backfire LOL:).