3 wo teaching to sleep tips

[HaniaJa]

Hi everyone!
My DD is 3wo, she's my 2nd child, my first son was a great sleeper, from the very beginning she was familiar with shush/pat method and caught it within 3 weeks.
I know it's very early and I don't expect miracles, but I would just like to ask you for some advice about one issue - she usually has no problem falling asleep by herself using our ritual, sometimes without paci and sometimes with. The problem is that very often after 10-20 min she wakes up, usually when she spits out the paci, she starts to wriggle, groan, even cry a bit sometimes (very often with her eyes still closed) and comes back to sleep only when I give her a paci back. And this can continue for the whole nap, even 7-8 times.
Ofcourse I don't want her naps to look like this - how do You think, what should I change, what can I do "wrong"? Children her age usually still sleep for a few hours during the day, right?
As I sad - I know it's early, but it's just hard to look how she's struggling with her sleep, because I see that she wants to sleep, but somehow cannot...

Thanks for any ideas!
Hania

[ireneasheard]

If you think paci is disturbing then maybe see.if you can gradually stop?

[HaniaJa]

That is exactly what came to my mind today! And so far - it works, she soothe herself without paci and slept for 2 hrs! So thank You for ensuring me that this idea was right!
All best!
H

[ireneasheard]

Fabulous! Paci's can be used and I know many people use them if babe needs more sucking time. However they can become a "bad" prop if they are waking when it falls out etc. As your babe is so young it is easier to break that habit now rather than waiting and have it become an issue later. Glad that babe is getting a good sleep without it, means that she does not really need it. I assume you are on top of all the swaddling etc. Hope everything else is well!

[HaniaJa]

ehhh, unfortunately - what worked yesterday didn't work today at all:( She really didn't want to settle down without paci and than was waking up every 10-20 min and going back to sleep after I gave her a paci. The worst is in the evening - it takes me about 1.5 hrs to put her into the deep sleep. I have a feeling that I lost control and I have no ideas what to do. She does't fall asleep while BF, so no chance to use that (would be "harmless" at this age I guess). Do You think it's too early for shush-pat SERIOUS training? I know that she is the one that needs much more sucking time, so I'm sceptical about not using it at all;/
Help!

[ireneasheard]

I would continue to be consistent - at this stage she is still so little. If you can get away without having to use a paci then do it but if she needs it then definitely give it! You can always remove it later when she is a little older if it becomes an issue. It is hard when they are so little, things change quickly day to day and it could be that she is waking from gas or anything else. Things settle down, at this stage I was still feeding my little one to sleep, I simply made sure my routine and wind down was the same, I would sing the same song, cuddle him, tell him it was sleepy time etc and swaddle. I was not doing shhh pat seriously, it is okay to hold your baby! Do what you need to do to get your baby to sleep. If she needs more sucking time then give her the paci. You can always wait until she is asleep and if it drops out and she doesn't miss it then don't replace it.

[HaniaJa]

I think, You're right...I think holding her for a longer time is something that works good for her.
I'm just wondering - where is a good moment to start, at what age can we say that baby's sleep is a bit more stable?

[ireneasheard]

For us - after 4-6 weeks the initial adjustment period of getting to know each other, sorting out feeding and routine stuff things settled reasonably quickly. All I did during the first 6 weeks was feed and put babe to bed as best I could, making sure the routine was there, getting him used to life with us at home and getting to know each other. It may be different for everyone. We started seeing that even without doing much else that babe's sleep was already starting to stretch out in the evenings and we would get a 5 hour stretch from him.

Don't be afraid to hold your baby - there are so many occasions where I have fed my baby to sleep or held him to sleep as I felt that he needed me. He is now 6 months old and it feels like it has gone past so quickly.  When you are babe are feeling comfortable and babe is putting on weight and is thriving then I would look toward shh pat and seeing how you go. Good luck, hopefully things improve a little, keep us updated xx

[HaniaJa]

Hi there!
Here I am with some update - now she is almost 7 wo. She usually falls asleep by herself, I just give her a paci and she sleeps within a few minutes. She is usually having 40 min or -less often - 20 min naps. Then she starts wriggling and crying. I give her paci back but usually she is unable to resettle even though I do shhh/pat - sometimes for the whole 40 min! When she does go back to sleep - she sleeps then for no longer that 20 min. But I guess this is some advance anyway...
Please - tell me - I wonder-should I continue giving her paci back? Because I feel like on one hand - she really needs it to settle, but on the other - wakes up when it falls out when she is not in a deep sleep...When she is sleeping deeply - it doesn't matter. What would you suggest?
Many thanks!
H

[ireneasheard]

Can you work on reducing the paci? It does sound like it may become a "bad" prop if babe is waking when it falls out. You could start introducing shhh pat instead of paci? Or holding until baby is sleepy and shh pat to settle? Weaning it slowly?

[HaniaJa]

Well, it's not exactly like you said:) when she falls asleep for the first 45 min (Because now this is her usual nap time) she spits it out shortly after starting to sleep and it doesn't bother her. But when she wakes up then (she definetely is still sleepy), starts crying, so I give her paci back and she will wake up anytime it falls out and cry. I give it back then and very often after few replacements (10?!?!?) she will finally fall asleep again in such a Deep sleep that she don't mind falling it out but it takes ages!

I'm frustrated, because I would like to do it right but I have no idea what to do after those 45 min other than paci. Should I try shh/pat then even if we don't need to use it for the first 45 min nap, as she falls asleep independently, only given a paci? Or should I continue replacing for the next few weeks until she is capable of transitioning for the longer nap by herself? Or is it creating a bad habit?

I would rather not get rid of the paci as I know it's gonna be very helpful in a lot of situations in the future...