Dear all,
I am hoping (and praying) for some help before I become physically or mentally ill. My baby is nearly 16 weeks and we have developed some really problematic sleep associations. It all started from about 1 month old when he became a real puker, no signs yet of it subsiding. After numerous near choking episodes when we laid him down on his back, we took him to the GP and started on infant gaviscon. GP also advised us to hold him upright after each feed for 30 mins before laying him down. We followed this advice dutifully, sometimes for even longer, let him nap upright in the sling so as not to bring up milk... consequently LO has gotten so used to being held he absolutely cannot go to sleep without being in our arms.
Daytime naps continue to be in the sling but it's the nights that are killing me.
In the past few days I have finally managed to get him to sleep on his back in our bed by putting him down in a deep sleep (he screams while put down awake, or drowsy). Up until now we had been sleeping tummy to tummy, with me propped upright and him on me. when he lays on his back I can usually sleep for 1 hour at a time until he wakes up. These hourly wakings happen ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT and he cannot settle himself back to sleep when laid down. Cue, scream fest until he is picked up and nursed (he is ebf). He uses me as a dummy, and can only fall asleep at night on the breast.
I am so desperate for more sleep in the night, I know he does not need feeding every hour and that he does it for comfort to fall asleep. During the day he happily goes 3-4 hour stretches without a feed, he also sleeps for hours in the sling and can also put himself back to sleep if he wakes. But the nights are a disaster.
I feel like I have tried every tip there is to get him to nap in his crib during the daytime (absolutely refuses), and to get him off me at night and on his back (starting to get a little better), not to breastfeed him (no other way to get him back to sleep at night). I go to bed around 7pm every night and just stay there until the next morning because he cannot put himself to sleep! He feeds, falls asleep then I lay him down. Wakes after 1 hour and then so on all night long.
I just cannot carry on like this anymore, we have no healthy routine in place at all and I really thought that by 4 months things would be easier but it has just got worse. I feel like such an incompetent mum, like I don't know what I am doing and it's all my fault for creating these habits
I have let my health visitor know of my struggles because I feel so anxious and down, she has agreed to do fortnightly visits and is also referring me for some emotional support.
Sorry for the rambling, as you can see there are lots of intertwined issues. Do I ride it out and expect him to sleep independently in time, or continue challenging his habits?
If you have reached the end of this post then well done and thank you for reading!
Ummah
