12 weeks - bottle as a sleep prop

[MunchkinsMama]

Me again.

My lb is napping a bit better since my last post (although we've now gone from one night wakening to two 🙈) ... 1 step forward and 2 steps backward at the minute.

Anyway, for at least 2 out of 4 naps in the day, he's gone from 10-30 min naps to sometimes an hour or an hour and a half. I think this is because I have begun placing him on his side to sleep for naps and I half swaddle him too.

However, in every instance... Naps and night wakenings, he will only settle to sleep with the bottle in his mouth. Already, it's become a very strong sleep association with him. He'll cry and cry and then as soon as I place teat in his mouth he usually relaxes. I'm careful to watch his sleepy cues and start winding him down asap but the only thing that soothes him is the bottle (or very rarely, his paci which he really doesn't seem to like). When he has drained his bottle and is still awake, we try the paci but he usually pushes it out with his tongue or gags on it. I really feel like I force the paci on him when the bottle is empty because he needs to suck to soothe himself to sleep. Should I just give up on the paci at this stage or persevere? My husband is now over feeding him because he'll make up another bottle for him even when he's not hungry, to try and get him to sleep.

He went to bed last night at 8:30 and woke at 1:30am. I always leave him for 10-15 mins to see if he'll settle but he didn't. When I lifted him and gave him the bottle, he took a few sucks and then fell asleep. He didn't wake then until his normal time of 5:30am. Obviously I should have just tried to resettle him but I feel like I've tried everything... Only the bottle works.

I've used the Pantley (?) removal technique when he falls asleep on the bottle but this is only a short-term fix. Do I just need to cold turkey and put him down awake and let him cry? I wouldn't leave him alone to cry. S'times I lay beside him and rub his tummy very slowly but he still cries and gets worked up. He doesn't even settle when I lift him.

I feel as though my efforts to soothe him... Shushing, patting, rocking etc seem to overstimulate him more. Do I just need to be consistent with one method of settling ... So put him down and rub his tummy until he falls asleep or tires himself out crying?

I feel so bad that in 12 weeks I still haven't figured out how to soothe my baby. He has never just fallen asleep on me or my husband. We have to work hard at getting him to sleep.

[Scottishmummy]

"I feel so bad that in 12 weeks I still haven't figured out how to soothe my baby. He has never just fallen asleep on me or my husband. We have to work hard at getting him to sleep. "

Please don't feel bad. Sleep is a tricky thing for LOs to learn, a skill that takes time. I remember thinking the same about my DS but he just needed a bit more time. We had little success with sleep training until he was around 4mo.

I breast fed but I think the suck to sleep association is similar. What worked for us was giving a comforter to suck on instead (both of mine rejected the dummy/paci too) & using sh-pat (or more like shh-hold as pat was too distracting) combined with a gradual withdrawal approach.  I also moved bed time feed to the very start of BT routine rather than end to try to separate feed from sleep a bit more, also tried to just avoid feeding close to nap time.

Not sure what to suggest re NW as mine BF so still needed NFs at this age. Will ask my co-mod as she bottle fed.

[lolsyb1982]

12 weeks is still so young so don't feel bad about him struggling to sleep.  It's totally normal at this age to have 1 or 2 NF so if he does want a bottle then go ahead and feed him.

I was also thinking maybe give him a muslin or something to suck if he doesn't like the paci. You might want to try a few different styles of paci's as the teat shapes are different and he may take to one.
Neither of mine have liked ssh pat much. The first one just liked a ssh with my hand on her chest and the 2nd liked a stroke with a ssh.
Have you tried white noise, that really helped calm and settle mine at this age.