13mo wakes at 4.30 and won't go back to sleep!

[SusieQue]

Hi there, we are REALLY struggling with DS2 at the moment, to the point where I just don't know what to do any more. He has been waking at around 4-4.30 for as long as I can remember and he just won't go back to sleep after. We give home a bottle then put him back down, he shouts or cries, we pick him up and try to cuddle him to sleep, the same thing. It's like his brain his engaged and he just won't go back to sleep. That wakes DS1 up, and everyone is up.

He has been on 1 nap for a couple of months as he simply won't take 2 naps (he is low sleep needs) so I've been putting him to bed for his nap at 10am when he wakes at 4 or 4.30

WU 4-4.30 bottle 7 oz
E 6am porridge
S 10-11.30 or 12 sometimes
E 4.30 dinner
S 6.15

His wake up time never changes regardless of the time we put him to bed, I've tried doing it later if we're out in the day and he has a later short nap -it seems to make no difference. It's really hard keeping him awake until 10 some days and he is so grumpy by then that he's just unbearable. I know it's awful to say but I just resent him so much sometimes for disrupting everyone, especially DS1 who has just started school. We are all in bed early every night as we are just so tired and I don't know how to fix it. Does anyone have any ideas? We've tried leaving him in the morning but he just shouts and gets wound up and then everyone is grumpy. Push the nap back maybe? I don't cap his nap, he wakes naturally from it. Sometimes he will fall asleep on the school run about 9 and I let him sleep for 20 mins but then he's a nightmare taking a longer nap later. I feel like I've tried everything and now I've just reached the end of the line!

[Martini~]

You jest have to put his nap later Honey. And that's it. You can do it either by letting him for a short (not 20 but 10min) catnap as early as you can and push for a nap at 11/11:30 or you just have to push the nap no matter how sleepy he is. 13mo is not too early for one nap but he should sleep to a later hour.
Remember also about BT. Right now moving it later won't change a thing but in general you should aim for either BT at 7 (and you can hope for wake up at 6/7am but nap should be around 12 at least. Or with 6pm BT you probably can aim for 5/6am wake up and nap can be at 11:00.

[SusieQue]

Thanks Martini. I know you're right, it's really hard keeping him awake some mornings as I have to do the school run with the pram and he falls asleep about 9 (like this morning). Today he fell asleep on the way home at 9 for 10 minutes then he was at my mums as I was working and she put him to bed at 10.30. He slept until 11.30 then was a nightmare going to bed at 6.30 tonight )finally fell asleep at 7). I will try and keep him awake until 11 for the next few days and see how we get on. Something needs to work soon!

[Martini~]

Catnap solution is really ok I think. If you can push for 10min at 9, just go for nap at 11:30.