Short naps and nothing is working please HELP!!

[Cather]

Hello everyone! My baby is 12 weeks old, since she was 9 weeks old her naps were a mess because she only slept in her arms. I started judicious with EASY but one of the problems is that her naps are very short from 30 to 40 min, so the routine is a disaster. I tried to wake up to sleep but it did not work, so I started to help her with pressure in the jolts but I found it very invasive, so I decided to wait until She woke up to sleep her  again. The problem is that it takes so long. Sometimes with shh pat and others with the paci, it seems to work at 20 min, and suddenly reopens the eyes. It seems to be in the first stage of sleep for up to 45 min!. At the end I end up exhausted and she too, and finally wake up at all. And since a week ago every time I put the swaddle cries a lot, since she is 12 weeks old already  I tried not to put it on, she sucks her hand and with the other hand she grabs her head and hair, but that does not seem to let her sleep !! So she is so tired and crancky all day  she does not want to eat. I have tried everything but I am losing hope please help me !!

[deb]

Can you post the EASY you have now, or maybe just today's schedule? Might be a number of things. Off the top of my head it could be reflux, paci dependency, or night wakings (that was our issue way back when), for starters.

I had a similar issue and ended up making a hugely long post about how we solved it: https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=649.0 This was over 15 years ago (yes, that baby is now a high-schooler!), so some of it's a blur to me now, but if you have questions I can try to help.

[Cather]

Hello Deb, thank you for your answer. I had read you post before, but the issue is that like she is only 3 months i thought that schedule wouldn't fit her. But you know? I have notice that she doesn't eat at 3 hours, or eat a little, must of the time I have to wait. As i told you sometimes she is so tired she prefers to sleep althought it had passed 3 hours already since her last feed. So I start to feed her 3.5 or 4 hours. She is in medication for reflux, I think it have improve a little. This was my day yesterday, it is like EASASE

6:00 : she starts making noises, cries a little, i put the paci and she sleeps until 635
6:35 : E: she only takes one breast just 10 min!
6:45: A: 7:00 she starts to get cranky 7:15 i start the ritual to sleep.
7:30 S: she sleep until 8:00 she slightly open her eyes i try shh pat she starts to look for her hands ( she is swaddled) so i put paci. She tries to get sleep but at 20 min she open her eyes, again with paci and shh she tries to get sleep but 10 min she woke up so i give up.
8:40: A: plays a little but at  9 she starts to get cranky I start de sleep ritual
10:00 she achieve to sleep after 3 intents of sleeping a lot of crying. I try to feed her at 940 but she refuses. I think she prefers to sleep. She sleeps until 11:00!!
11:00: E she eats very well only one breast like 15 min try to get sleep but she open her eyes. Didn't want other breast.
11:15: A until 12 she start to get cranky
12: S: start to relax her and she sleep at 12:20 she sleeps until 1:00 pm, I wait aprox 20 min if she soothe herself, then I try with paci didn't work.
1:40 : A : we made some activities for 20 min she starts to get cranky again.
2:00 pm she cries a lot I try to sleep her only sleep 20 min
2:30 pm: E : She ate very well only 1 breast. 
2:59 Pm: A: she smiles and play a little but start to cry.
3:15 pm: S: She sleeps until 3:25 pm until 3:55 pm, try to extent her nap with shh pat then paci  but she can't sleep again.
4:00 pm activitie for 20 min and start to cry. she is so tired at this point that I decide to put her in the sling were she can sleep  for 2 hours. She tries to awake sometimes but because I move she sleep again.
6:15pm she wake up with hungry.
6:20 pm E she eat 1 breast very well.
6:40 pm A: activitie which include bath
7:30 pm : S: I give some boob she eat a little.
Start to sleep her with shh pat and paci. She only sleep in arms at 815 pm and put her in crib
9:00 pm she wake up try with paci for 30 min  but didn't work so she sleep in arms and put her in the crib.
11:00 dream feed. I always pumb and then give her with bottle.
2:30 am she wake up, feed for 20 min and go sleep again
5:30 she make some noises but go to sleep again
6:30'she woke up and the day start again.

There is some hope that she will sleep longer naps again? So she in no so cranky all the time?

[deb]

Yes, there IS hope! Sorry for the delay in responding but we were away for the weekend and I only had access to basics like email & FB, and even that was spotty.

3 months is a growth spurt so E and A and S times will likely be all over the map for a while. That said, that first A time is really REALLY short, and although you're following her cues, I'm thinking that if you're able to just get her back to sleep with the paci (instead of the one breast, since she doesn't seem hungry enough for a full feed yet), then try for a full (or at least longer) A time when she wakes properly for the day, that might shift things a bit. If you can get an A time - by which I mean any time not really sleeping, so even if she's not truly ACTIVE, she's *awake* - of even 1 hour 15, you're extending the A times. Then if you can get in to her while she's napping at about the 40-minute mark and wait for her to stir, you may see that she spits out her paci, which makes her wake fully. Instead, try to slip it back in before she's awake enough to notice it missing and see if she re-settles. If she does, then YAY, and if not, go thru trying to extend the next A time a little bit and try again next nap cycle. It took us a couple tries some days to get all longer naps, and some days we just didn't, but after maybe 3-4 days we were getting better at it. We had no luck with pat-shh for either of my kids, so don't feel bad if that doesn't work for you.

Hang in there - we're right here with you!

[Cather]

Thank you very much, I will try to get her first A longer. But do you think since she is not hungry at 3 hours is time to start with 3.5 or 4 hours? I'd read in the blog that they can start  with that schedule before the 4 months, and she is weighing 12 pounds already.
Thak you for your support.

[deb]

If she is anywhere near the 3-month growth spurt - which, at 12 weeks, she IS! - then her appetite may be all over the place for a week. It may take a while of trial-and-error experimenting to find out what her new "normal" is or will be (and then she will hit another growth spurt and change it, or she'll grow new teeth LOL.). Also, if she's on reflux meds, keep an eye out for if or when the meds no longer work, as they'll need to be increased as she gains weight until she outgrows it entirely. Around 3.5 months we were doing 3.5 hours between feeds, give or take, if that helps.

For now I'd see if you can get her to sleep more in the morning - when she finally wakes for the day she's had some short "naps" already and so isn't really ready to be awake a long time anyway, hungry or not - and then try from when she won't resettle with the paci any more but takes an actual full feed.

[Cather]

Hi, I'm writing to tell you how I'm going, the first day I try to prolong her nap and it  was a success, since she slept with the paci and I was able to put it back at the 40 minutes mark before she woke up, she could slept 2 hours in each nap . However she did not want to receive the paci again in the begining of her naps, first she pushed it with her tongue, now cries when I put it and therefore it has been impossible to prolong her naps! If shh-pat doesn't work either do you have any other suggestions?

[deb]

 How long is her A time now? I may not be around much the next couple of days but will try to check in again in the morning.

At 3.5 months, try for a 3.5-hour EASY, give or take. A time should be extending some...

[Cather]

Hi Deb thanks for the reply! Before your advice her A time was 1 hour that was 2 weeks ago, I have been progressively extending it and now it is in 1 hour and a half, even while sleeping up to 1 hour and 45. There are moments especially in the afternoon that she Can not stand more than 1 hour because her short naps. This will get better any time ehen she gets older?

[deb]

That was the case for us - as she got older she could stay awake more and slept better night AND daytime once we got to a place where she stopped short-napping, which in turn was caused by an early waking, which me *mostly* fixed w/a dream feed.