Helping a 21 month old prepare for a new arrival

[Lasm2016]

Hi there

I'm not sure if I'm posting this in the right place but I'm wondering if there are any good resources I could tap into or any invaluable advice you mums have to get first children mentally prepared for the arrival of a new baby.

My daughter is 2 on 1st September and my second child is due on 1st October.  There are some practical things we have done to make our lives a bit easier e.g. She's been in bed big girls bed since 18 months.

But I'm more looking for things I can do to prepare her better so that when the new baby comes she's not feeling rejected.  A colleague at work recommended reading books about new babies and doing things like getting her a buggie board now to practice with or getting the crib set up in our room to explain this is where the baby will sleep, and getting the babies pram out etc

Are there any other things mums out there can recommend?

Many thanks
Laura

[jessmum46]

Hi Laura, our age gap was slightly larger at 2y5m but things we did were lots of talking about babies, what they eat, what they might be trying to say when they were crying (I'm tired, I'm hungry, I need a nappy change) etc.  We read a princess polly book which was quite good - I think it was this one https://www.amazon.co.uk/Im-New-Big-Sister-Princess/dp/1409313735 And we also did a few practical things like moving DD out of the cot bed into a big bed so we could put the cot bed away for a while before baby arrived, so DD didn't feel like baby was taking her things. 

There will always be an adjustment period but I think cuddles and reassurance go a long way.  Involving your DD as much as you can might help too - get her to choose which clothes or nappy baby wears or help pass you wipes.  Keeping the older one in routine was a must here - really helped DD realise that things hadn't changed that much and I think made her feel secure. 

The other thing I would just leave with you to think about is just being conscious of not always prioritising the baby - by that I mean obviously baby's basic needs absolutely have to be met, but I found that consciously choosing sometimes to have a day out somewhere or spend time on an activity because it was what DD needed really helped us.  The baby's needs are initially very practical, but your older one will have emotional needs also which are just as/potentially more important to address.  Baby can cope with a day of rubbish naps now and again! 

Good luck, I hope the rest of your pregnancy and delivery go smoothly x

[mulvia]

Hi Laura, our DS2 was born in July, exact same gap with DS1 as yours. We did all that you mention (set up crib with his help, involve him as much as possible, read a book about it). The book we used is called "There's a house inside my mummy" - i guess it was also lucky the drawings kinda look like us, but it's cute and it rhymes which made it good bedtime reading. At some point DS1 started asking for 'the baby story'. We also named the bump pretty early on and he sang to it and offered it food on occasions 😂. When DS2 arrived it was just a matter of 'he came out of the belly' and DS1 took it really well (so far..!). Good luck! X