Help with establishing nap routine for 10week old

[rosikaos]

Hi I am a FTM to a 10 week old girl. Until recently she fought napping during the day and I couldn't get her to sleep without a lot of crying and holding her in my arms - she screamed every time I put her down. Over the last week, having followed advice and one of the examples in the BW book I have established an initial nap routine and she is now managing to nap during the day in her crib. However she is still a bit upset when trying to get her to sleep and I am still holding her while she initially drifts off to sleep. We've come a long way in the last week but I am looking for advice on how to keep improving the routine so she is less upset and becomes more independent at sleeping. My current routine is below:

1. On first sign of tiredness, a yawn or starting to get frustrated with activity time, I am picking her up and taking her to our room (where she is sleeping at the moment in a bedside crib).
2. I put her in her swaddle suit. We have used this since very early on so she is used to it. It is one where she is swaddled with her hands up by her head so she could self soothe if she wanted (although she's found her hand and is sucking it a bit, it's not as far as self soothing yet).
3. I say it's her nap time, a couple of other standard phrases and close the curtains
4. I then put on a toy which has a heartbeat noise and hold her upright on my shoulder. This is when she often starts a bit of crying or gurning. I use pat/sshhh to try to calm her.
5. I hold her until her eyelids start to drop ie the start of Stage 3. And then lay her down while shushing. She then will hopefully finish Stage 3 and go to sleep. Often if takes a couple of pick up, pat/sshh and then back down. But far far less than before! It does however take about 20 mins of holding her.
At the moment when I put her down I have to keep my hand under her legs or she starts kicking and gets upset.

I know it's not a great routine but would appreciate views on where I go now. For example some thoughts I have are: Should she be having more winddown time to try to stop her being upset, and if so what should this consist of? When should I be aiming to put her in the crib-earlier than the start of Stage 3?

Many thanks

[creations]

Hello and welcome to BW forums

Looks like you've made a fabulous start to EASY

It's quite normal for it to take a full 20 mins to go to sleep although over time this can change and reduce with some LOs. I could set a clock by that 20 mins with my DS in the early days but later, when he was sleeping independently, he preferred a very short wind down and to just get into his bed, maybe 5 mins, just a quick nappy change and 1 song then down and leave him.  Of course through tricky times, routine changes and teething etc it can also take a lot longer than 20 mins to properly settle a LO even if they are an independent sleeper - that's just how it goes.
For now then the 20 mins sounds spot on - brilliant!

Depending what the crying is like when she is being held at your shoulder, if it is low level she might be trying to self sooth, a mantra cry, this is the sort of cry where you can put her down and shush/pat in the cot.  Or she might now realise she is very comfortable for sleeping in her cot and is asking to be put down, although may still need help to fall to sleep.  A little experimentation might be needed.  If she is crying hard though it could be something bothering her, UT (under tired) or OT (over tired) although it sounds like you are acting on her sleepy cues well.

I found with my DS that he needed the view for his "seven mile stare" not to change, he would focus on the same thing (strong tonal contrast) for every sleep and if that view changed he was restless. For this reason I realised I needed him to be down in his bed for the seven mile stare so that firstly he could begin to nod and see the same view and secondly if he opened his eyes during the transition from one cycle to the next he still saw the same view and could either stare or nod or shut his eyes and go back to sleep again.  Getting LO down into the cot as soon as you can and continuing shush/pat there is the aim, but if she is upset of course you pick up and comfort in arms and all the way to sleep if necessary.

I hope this helps some.

[rosikaos]

Thanks for your reply, it's helpful and reassuring. I've been wondering about the 7 mile state actually and thinking she might like to see a 'plainish' / less stimulating view for this so I think I will try to work towards getting her into her cot for this stage. I'm definitely seeing improvement in her being put into her cot and even now trying to get herself back to sleep when she wakes up after a 45min sleep cycle. The crying is still there but I'm going to experiment a little to see if I can find ways to reduce this.

Thanks again!

[creations]

Babies see strong tonal contrasts better than lots of colours, you might find that something "plainish" is the key so not too much stimulation or you might find something with a black and white bold pattern helpful.  Mine initially hooked onto a large plant we have against a plane light wall (dark leaves against pale wall) because of where we held him to calm him down but when we then moved to get him into his cot he was disturbed by not seeing the thing he needed for the seven mile stare.  I printed up a few pages of thick black and white bold stripes, circles and squares and pinned them to the cot side, he soon switched his focus to those and that really helped with the seven mile stare and also seeing the same view when transitioning/waking so he didn't suddenly feel "where am I?"  Maybe something like that could be useful for your LO too.
Mine has always liked very plain decor for sleeping, even now (6yo) he has a plain room, plain bed covers, he can't stand colours and patterns where he is sleeping.

It's great you are seeing improvement. It does take time.