Bedtime and waking in night issues./ daddy obsession.

[Jojo290615]

Hi there !

I'm looking for some advice about transitioning my 28 month little boy into a toddler bed.

My lo is a really good sleeper, and sleeps through most of the time , a part from illnesses etc..

We have entered the terrible twos! I wouldn't say bedtime is a battle but he is beginning to really delay it.

We have a pretty standard bedtime routine. Around 6pm we settle down and watch some cartoons and he will play quietly or sit with us. Around 6:30 we start bath/ wash, pjs, teeth and hair. We finish off in his room and read 2 or 3 books . We say goodnight to the groclock, kiss goodnight and close the door . He then will continue to read his books and play with some lego in his crib for about 15 mins... he then calls us to tuck him in for the final goodnight. He then sleeps until around 6:00 but stays in crib playing and reading until the sun on the clock comes up.
That is normally what happens... for a about a week.. he has been calling us in and dwardelling. Trying to have chats etc. Last night he called us in and didn't want to stay in his crib... he had cocked his leg over and was getting angry and frustrated. We told him many times it's bedtime and he must settle and sleep , trying not to get frustrated ourselves.., finally he laid down with his books and fell asleep. This has never happened but it's really got us thinking.. is it time for big boy bed ?

I am currently 7 months pregnant, the baby will be here mid December and I always wanted to wait until after the baby was born and things were a bit more settled.
But now I'm not so sure. I don't want to have to do the transition about a week after I've given birth, if he decides to jump over the crib for real.it will be too much for him! New baby .. new bed. There are lots going on for him anyway, speaking etc..

What do you think I should do ? Has anyone else been in a similar situation ?

Thank you !!!
xx

[Erin M]

I transitioned two of mine when they were around 3 -- and at that point they were just too big for the crib and needed more room.  Neither ever really showed much interest in climbing out.  My middle child probably transitioned around the age of your LO - she was climbing out and just generally unhappy in the crib.  I might give it a week or two to see if it settles down, but it's worth a try at this age -- you can always pull the mattress out of the crib and try that on the floor and see if it makes a difference, as that's closer to what sleeping in an actual bed will be like.  That being said, arrivals of younger siblings always seems to mess with sleep, so no matter what you do, I might expect some sleep issues when your baby arrives. 

It could also be that your routine needs a tweak and that he's just not that tired.  Is he still napping?  My girls had largely given up the nap at that age, but my son was still a die hard napper.  Or is there some developmental leap going on?  Does he have his 2 year molars already?  So many possibilities LOL, kids always keep us guessing. 

[Jojo290615]

Hi Erin

Thanks for your reply:)

Yesterday went well actually. No drama and no jailbreak attempts!:)

Yes he still naps. He has about an hour 15 mins every day. He goes to daycare every day and naps there. It's part of his routine. They all sleep at 12:00. He used to sleep 2 hours but it's gradually going down. He is usually in bed by 7 and wants to be tucked in about 20, 30 minutes later.
At home he goes down a bit later for his nap and still sleeps about 1 hours 30 mins.
I think he still needs it especially at daycare. There has been a couple of times when he doesn't want to nap at home but he still has quiet time in his crib. When he hasn't napped he gets very tired at 16:00 and does sleep a bit longer in the morning. But I think he will gradually just stop by himself.

All his teeth are through and have been for a while. So I think it's developmental.

I'll see how things go these next two weeks ... I don't really want to transition him until he starts to grow out of it.

Thanks for your advice

[Erin M]

Glad you had a drama free bedtime. 
His naptime sounds good for his age, my youngest could never survive without the nap at that age either!  Like I mentioned, my first and third were very content to stay in their cribs until they were 3 so you may still have a good bit of time before you transition. 

[Jojo290615]

Hi again!
Just wanted to give an update and ask for some more advice .. as things have gone down hill since last week.

LO has become obsessed with daddy! won’t go happy to bed if papa isn’t there.. and god forbid if papa has to quickly pop to the shops just after bedtime and he isn’t sleeping yet and calls for him. He calls for daddy to tuck him in! And he calls for daddy in the night! And in the morning! He would always call for me to tuck him in and in the morning. Even if he woke in the night he would call mama! He would ask where papa was and I would say papa is sleeping now and he would be fine. But now he gets very upset if papa doesn’t go in! In the morning he would wait for the sun to come up in the gro clock.but now he just wants papa!
He has a cold since Monday so I think that’s why he is waking up in the night. But the whole obsession with papa started before.
When he wakes up we go straight in there and he wants papa of course... and if he laying down we ssshh him and say it’s sleepy time now and that we are just next door. Then there is a problem when papa leaves the room! So he has to stay there until he falls asleep.

Nothing has changed in our routine... My partner’s work schedule has even got better and is home every evening for bedtime now. He works one weekend a month but is here by bedtime.
I’m 7 months pregnant but have been for 7 months haha! And we talk about the baby without going too much into things. And he knows there is a baby in my tummy. We haven’t put any of the baby stuff out yet, so no change to his environment.
I’m on sick leave right now with SPD.. and LO goes to nursery every day.

We really don’t know how to handle the sleep part... we have started giving him the bottle again, as he wasn’t feeling well and we thought it would make bedtime easier... I know it’s not the best solution but I’m confident that once he is better it won’t be a problem to take it away again. It wasn’t before.

I feel quite hopeless.. and I have to say im a bit hurt when he rejects me. And daddy needs a break haha!

Can you advise please ?