Am I helping my 9 month old too much?

[CbabyJ]

So I’m still having early wakes normally 530- 545 and I leave him till at least 6.  I’m wondering whether he’s having too much day sleep or if he’s waking due to hunger.
I don’t want to try to feed him and get him back down as I don’t want to reinforce the EW.
Today he woke at 530- yesterday  he had a morning nap of 1hr25 and afternoon nap of 1hr 15 which was very unusual as he normally only naps 30mins.  I put him down at 715 and he fell a straight asleep.

Normally his naps are 1hr 45-2hr in the morning and an afternoon catnap.

I don’t want to cap his morning nap ideally as it’s the good nap.  And given he wakes up well before 6 normally I can only really get to 930 before he’s super tired for his morning nap.

[becj86]

I'm going to suggest you pick a suitable WU time that fits with ~11hr night and a BT you're happy with (some compromise may be required). Once you do that, you pull WU later by saying that first nap will be after 3:45hr or 9:45, whichever is later. 3-4 day to a week later, you would shift that to being 3:45 from WU or 10am whichever is later until WU is at a reasonable time.

I agree that its not a good idea to cap the first nap at the moment.

If he's super tired for his morning nap and sleeping 1:25 (a slightly UT nap), it may be worth considering a change of activity rather than nap as he may just be a bit bored or going to sleep after 3:30 from habit.

[CbabyJ]

So if my desired WU is 630 I would put him down at 1000 even if he woke and was out of the crib at 6? I’m just not sure how forcing the nap to be later would help the WU as wouldn’t he just be overtired the whole day and wake up even earlier ?  But of course you have more experience so I’m open to suggestions!

I’ve been thinking that I should also try delay his morning BF to match my desired WU.  At the moment I feed straight away mainly to keep him quiet to make sure my older boy doesn’t wake.  What do you think ?

[becj86]

LO's wake earlier than they previously did when A time is too short - to make it longer. If you make the nap earlier as a result of the earlier waking, they will wake earlier again. If you keep the nap where it should be / make it later, they will sleep later. Its the most effective way to shift the day later. Its what we recommend with clock changes / small time zone changes too.

I’ve been thinking that I should also try delay his morning BF to match my desired WU.  At the moment I feed straight away mainly to keep him quiet to make sure my older boy doesn’t wake.  What do you think ?

I'd be doing what works best for the whole family. I'm not sure that delaying a feed is going to make him sleep any later.

[CbabyJ]

An update -  I am still having early mornings.  And he is pretty miserable for the first hour or two which is tough.
He wakes normally 530-6 but sometimes wakes 515 with a cry and falls back asleep for a bit.  I try to wait until 630 to get him but most of the time it is more like 6-615.

He can normally go till about 1020 until a nap and sleeps 1.5hrs.  He then naps at 330ish for 30 mins.
With a bedtime of 715 or so - he falls asleep quick I think due to the short PM nap.

I don’t think he’s getting enough sleep through the day/night.  He’s been fussy for over a week now and there’s nothing to blame other than tiredness I think.  Although it’s not like he’s rubbing his eyes or anything.

Should I try pushing that first nap later for a longer nap or capping it?  I’m scared to cap it as it’s his good nap.  And pushing it later will most likely mean no second nap as he will fight it.  And I can’t often AP it.

I’m sad he’s so sad in the mornings.  My first wa so happy first thing it makes me feel like something is definitely wrong with his schedule.

[becj86]

Should I try pushing that first nap later for a longer nap or capping it?  I’m scared to cap it as it’s his good nap.  And pushing it later will most likely mean no second nap as he will fight it.  And I can’t often AP it.

No, don't cap the long nap, you want to preserve that fpr when you get to one nap. What are you looking to achieve?

Is he cutting teeth? That can be unpleasant.

Is he waking ready to do things and having to stay quiet for everyone else's benefit? Is he hungry that first hour? Just throwing out ideas as to why he might be less happy...

[CbabyJ]

I do still want a later start to the day given he fact he isn’t getting enough sleep in my opinion. 
He isn’t cutting teeth right now.  The fussiness started a week ago after a cold and hasn’t really stopped.  I went to the doc to check for ear infection but there was no sign. 
He doesn’t have to stay quiet in the morning and he definitely isn’t quiet.  I try to play with him.  He is hungry for sure.  I breastfeed him and 30 mins to 45mins later he has breakfast.  But that doesn’t improve his mood much.

I just don’t know why he’s gone from being happy most of the time to whiny most of the time.  Even when in his high chair eating his favourite foods!

[becj86]

Is this just in the last week following the cold? I presume doc checked throat, etc. as well. It can take a while to recover or he may be brewing another illness. Is he off his food at all?

How old is he now? Just trying to get a picture of what sleep would be average as the night is slightly short at ~10-10.5hr but the day looks ok. Has his sleep decreased markedly in the last week or two?

It may be developmental or situational too - things may be a bit more hectic/fraught with Christmas coming up.

Here is a link to some info re: EW which might give you some more ideas... https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=253524.0

[CbabyJ]

The doctor did check everything.  He’s not off food at all he’s eating more than he has been.  Making up for the lost lunch breastfeed I presume. 
He will be 11 months tomorrow.
He does act frustrated like he wants to do more - talking/ walk etc.  I was thinking that’s tiredness. 

I need to cut the post afternoon nap breastfeed this week to get him ready for Daycare and I’m scared to do it given the way he’s been acting... plus the fact he does seem so hungry.   I’d say it was a growth spurt but it’s been a week now.

[becj86]

I’d say it was a growth spurt but it’s been a week now.

They can certainly go for that long.

I need to cut the post afternoon nap breastfeed this week to get him ready for Daycare and I’m scared to do it given the way he’s been acting.

I'd probably just keep it (if you are willing to keep it for home/weekends) and pack a snack and drink for daycare. He will know they are two different places and form different habits at daycare than home.
 

He does act frustrated like he wants to do more - talking/ walk etc.  I was thinking that’s tiredness.

Lots of babies become frustrated and whiny when they are working on new skills.

I honestly don't think his sleep amount is drastically low for his age. If it hasn't changed in that week that he's been fussy and he's been working on skills and more hungry, I think you've a combination of other factors rather than sleep being the issue. I know you're working a lot less on sleep in the last couple of weeks/month or so than you have been previously but I think that we've just adjusted things to be more age-approriate and it can feel like a lot less but its actually not given he's now having a more solid night sleep and he's getting a long nap in the day.