9.5m old struggle with pm naps

[Nora2kids2]

Hi

We have been having difficulties with the PM nap for about 2 weeks with my 9.5m old DD.
For the morning nap she falls asleep in 2 mins after 3h20/3h30m A time and sleeps 1h10m to 1h40m. The afternoon nap time is a nightmare, though. I start the sleeping routine after she yawns, or rubs her eyes, but then as soon as I put her into the cot she starts crying and it takes 20-30mins to calm her (yesterday I tried for 40mins then gave up and had an early BT. Still with the EBT she was awake for 5.5hr.. crazy)
She is teething (upper left and right 2nd teeth), just started crawling last week, so lots of things going on.
Any advice on how I could help her getting a better pm nap?

Good days usually look like this:
3h20m/3h30m A 
1hr15/1hr30m S
3hr30m A
40m S
3h20m A
2 NW (around 1-2am and 5am. she goes back to sleep after 6-7m BF).

Saturday was like this:
3h25m A
1h30S (fell asleep in 2mins)
3h30h A
30m S (put her down at 3h10A as she look so tired, took 20 mins to fall asleep with lots of crying)
3h10mS
woke at 1am  and 5am

thanks

[Katet]

Often when they struggle to fall asleep but can do it at a different time, it's because the A time is either too long or too short. As I'm thinking 3.5h is quite long at 9mo, I'd be inclined to try for the second nap at around 3 hours or even 2h 45 with a long wind down taking it to 3 h.
As they get older they get stimulation in different ways so it's not always clock timing but how busy they have been and how much stimulation they have had... A noisy shopping Mall is more tiring than sitting in a quiet living room.

[Nora2kids2]

Hi,
Next weekend she is turning 10m old...Yesterday I woke her up from the am nap at 1h45m and put her down when she showed signs of tiredness after 2h45m A.She fell asleep at 3hA with a little struggle but wasn’t a disaster. She slept only 20 mins...so I am not sure if 3h A time is enough.
 

[Katet]

Between 9 & 10m months there isn't that much difference in A time & al lot depends on the child when they are on 2 naps. Some will do 2 hours A time & then a short nap & then a long one. Others a long nap & a cat nap & others 2 long naps.

I Wonder, as you are struggling with the second nap, but waking from the first whether the way forward would be to let her sleep as long as she likes for the first one & then just expect the second one to be a catnap & that she will probably move to one nap sooner rather than later.

That said if she wakes up grumpy from a short 2nd nap, then I'd be inclined to think it's an overtired nap & she might be a baby that likes different A times between her naps. I know with my DS1 who enjoyed his day sleep he would only have about 2.5hours A time in the middle of the day as it was always so much busier at Daycare or we were out & about at that time, so he got tired faster than at other times.

[Nora2kids2]

She was awake for 1 hour between 2-3 am with the 3h 2nd A time. Just chatting, not really crying. May due to the shorthened A time during the day? Have no clue.

Yesterday looked liked this (this was the day after the 1h NW at 2am):
3h10m A (6:50 -10:00)
2h S
3h40m A  (we visited Grandma and left a little late for home)
30m S in the car (was very tired, so 3h40m is way too long A for her. I woke her at 30m)
3h10 A  (last 20mins bf and drowsing)
She woke only at 5:20am for bf and woke at 7:20.
From a NW point of view I would be fine with this  

If I go with what you suggest (let her sleep as long as she wants for the first S and expect only a catnap for the 2nd) do you think I should start slowly extending the first A time?

[Katet]

She'll slowly start extending it anyway as she moves towards one nap - could be any time from now until past 18months old - I had to force my DS1 to 1 nap before DS2 was born, he was 21months at the time... he loved his sleep.

In terms of waking & chatting in the night... that's pretty normal, hopefully if you don't need to get up, you can learn to register the sound but know you don't have to wake up for it.