PLEASE HELP - 24 weeks, no sleep

[Aperfectionistgoingcrazy]

Hi everyone.
I have been reading through the forum now for a few days, getting ideas and trying them out, but I just can’t handle this on my own anymore. My lack of sleep is turning me into  a monster(mom).

So, my son is 24 weeks old.Up until the 4 m sleep regression, he was sleeping well - at night the first strech was up to 6 hours, next two about 2 hours. Naps were not as great, but it was much better than now. At that point I have been doing it all wrong - I am breastfeeding and since he was loosing a lot of weight in the beginning (because of a tounge tie), I allways let him wean of the breast, which was usually when he fell asleep. After the regression kicked in, I changed that and went on a modified EASY. I now don’t feed him to sleep, but simply put him down and usually let him CIO or fall asleep as he wishes on his own.

I have 3 problems now:
1. He takes supershort naps - 32 min max I have tried the W2S - worked only once, manytimes he would twitch, but then still ended up waking at 32 min or even sooner. I tried to modify the time when I go in for a W2S, no difference (the truth is, I have no idea when I should go in, since the nap is so short). I tried pressure while in REM - also worked only once. Othertimes he just wakes up like WTF are you doing?! I tried PU/PD - he becomes drowsy in my arms, but as I put him down he wakes fully. He usually wakes from his naps in a good mood, but rubbing his eyes and yawning. He gets tired soon after he wakes. I have to put him down every 1.5-2 hours, otherwise he is fussy. What else can I do? I am desperate I feel like all I do is put him down for naps.

2. At night he either wakes up every 3 hours -3 hours -2 hours -1 hour -1 hour. Or he wakes just about every hour and a half (this was tonight). At night I never know when he really is hungry, so on the first example of sleep I always breastfeed him but then wean him and place him in his crib to fall asleep. He has no problem whit that. If I try anything else, the result is a lot of crying and very little sleep. What to do with this?!

3. Obviouslly, he is unable to connect sleep cycles, but I have NO IDEA how to help him. I am really desperate, since the lack of sleep for  me, really messes with my mood and I really do become a monstermom, being distant and angry all day long. Obviouslly, I don’t want that. But the lack of control and rutine is killing me. So, how to help/teach him to transition sleep cycles?

Aditional info: his A time is from 1.5-2.5 hours, depending on the amount of sleep he gets at each nap. Night time rutine starts at 7 with breastfeeding, bath, short massage, PJs, walking in the dark room with white noise on and me singing a lullaby. After he is calm but awake, I place him in his crib and let him fall asleep on his own. In the morning he is allover the place, sometimes waking at 5, othertimes 7. I can’t find a pattern. Feeling totally hopless and discouraged 

Should I just accept his short naps and go with the flow at night or what?! Since I am a perfectionist, it is killing me even more, because everything I do, makes no change at all. I feel like a total failure.

[Katet]

Hugs from BTDT it's hard when they don't sleep.
Also perfectionism is a curse as a parent (something to learn not to be) as children will never conform to an ideal. As a former type A, learning how to let go made huge differences to how well my children slept, the less I tried the better they slept... But getting there only happened for me because of other factors and wasn't a path I might otherwise have taken.

One of the most important things for a baby in the first few months is connection and unfortunately CIO can backfire (as it seems it has for you) and very much why BW doesn't condone it.
As with all skills in life, help can be needed and some babies (those not angels or textbook) it can take 30mins or so to help them get to sleep and some just don't seem to get past catnapping easily.

How does your baby sleep if in a stroller or a car or in your arms. With my eldest he slept so much better in the car or stroller than in his cot, while my youngest would extend a nap if I got him in a sling and walked around.

To a degree I'd suggest going with the flow, but working on calmly helping him go to sleep (no CIO)  I found gentle stroking my eldest's forehead then doing it with my hand just above (not touching) as his eyes drifted off helped him fall asleep in a relaxed way and it was around that time we got longer naps.
 Another thing that I found helpful was to never feed on the first wake up at night, but to sooth back to sleep for the  first and then feed next time and the first wakeup got later that way too. 

[Aperfectionistgoingcrazy]

Thanks for the reply ...

Sleep is the same in a car, stroller or my arms. No more than 30 minutes give or take. Once or twice it happened that he started crying a few minutes into sleep, so I went back and did the rutine again and put him down again - he slept almost two hours  I’d think this is a similar thing that W2S, but that only extends the sleep up to 45 minutes. No idea what more  to do  ...

CIO was always done with my presence - so not a typicall CIO. I was there all along, stroking his hand and shusing ...

I guess I should just stop obsessing about it and let it be, since he is very happy and active in his A time. But this does mean I get very little Y time   

Interesting about the first feed. I might try that. Thank you!

[Aperfectionistgoingcrazy]

So I tried to skip the first feed and it resulted in an hour cry. Then I just fed him. It is all too much for me. I really am clueless about what to do.