3 year old suddenly pushing boundaries at bedtime (getting out of bed)

[Crispysage]

HELP! Going from kids who never got out of bed to raucous rowdy children at bedtime. 3 year old was just SHOUTING at me - mommy! I got out of bed, to see what I would do, and this is such new territory to me - I don't want to come down too hard but I cant keep going in there and soothing - he is looking for the limit, I cant keep him in his bed! Threats? I have taken toys away, I have ignored. Is there something clever one can do?

[Katet]

I'm not one for negative consequences, so I needed to work with the big picture.
Am I asking them to go to bed to early?
Have I given enough quality time of the type they want (not what I choose to give)?
Have I explained about the need for sleep and why they have the 'job' to stay in bed?
Is the time of year (light later) making it harder to go to sleep?

I'd definitely have a conversation about how calling out makes Mum stop doing her jobs and she goes to bed later and makes her grumpy, so if he doesn't want a grumpy Mum it's a good idea to stay in bed and try to go to sleep. At 3 they are old enough to have the situation explained BUT also very much still at a point of getting their needs met in what ever way possible. So definitely look at if the getting out of bed is because bedtime is no longer working for your 3yo who might have  a bit more  energy to burn.

[Lolly]

We did the silent return to bed method with my son when he was that age, worked a treat!

You put them to bed with all the usual routine and reassurance, remind them to stay in bed etc. First waking they get put in with less conversation, fuss etc and a reminder. Second time, was less fuss we just tucked him in, said goodnight and a kiss and left. After that no conversation, just silently lead to bed, tuck in and leave. Repeat as many times as needed.

The first night it was probably about 20 times back to bed, the second night was way less and the third night less again. Night 4 no getting out of bed. You have to be really consistent though and the third time on has to be totally silent, no eye contact. You are removing the interaction so they aren’t getting any feedback to make it worth getting out of bed for, any attention is better than none! You are still responding but taking all the fun out of it.

Worked for us anyway!

Laura

[Mommyadel]

Having the same issues with my little guy. Did you find he fussed and cried a lot when you had to return him to bed? My little guy gets so heartbroken about the whole issue and gets really worked up.