What is wrong with my son?

[prncss]

Hello,

I need reassurance i guess...Whenever he has activity time he gets frustrated within minutes... he becomes rigid and grunts (like he is pooping) and gets really frustrated with his toys. Wether we are on the play mat, bouncy seat or swing... He flails his hands around (he still does not have control of them) and starts his grunting....and rigidness....while staring at the objects above him... even his favorite mobile on his changing table! at first we though it was cute, like he was trying to get his hands to work... but not is it constant! Is this normal? He gets himself so worked up we have to go to his room for nap time just to calm down! It is every time we try to play... HELP!

[Liz R]

NOTHING! At around that age everything is starting to make sense, they want things but can't get them. Jake was exactly the same.
Would you say you L/o was a bit spirited? Jake is and has been sooooo much better since he could have a bit of control over himself, previous to this he would try to get something ;hands everywhere, generally would smack himself in the face! He would let out an Ear piercing shriek almost constantly, it went on for 4 weeks !
It's a hard time, they need you there almost constantly don't they, just keep encouraging him to reach by holding things in his eyeline. Try some low impact activity too, he'll get there, let him watch you fold the laundry, that exciting for a 3 month old if dull for us,wave the stuff around get him to follow it, it doesn't have to all be centred on his toys, just 'cos it's activity time.
HTH
Liz x

[deb]

This may sound crazy, but I'm going to guess that your little guy wants some tummy time!!!!   

You know that arm and leg flailing? If he did that while he was on his tummy, and if you put your hands behind his feet, I'm betting that in a couple days he'd figure out how to move himself forward, especially if he has a smooth enough surface. Natalie enjoyed doing that on a big sheet of naugahyde/vinyl I found as a remnant at the fabric store; it was smooth enough that she didn't get caught on the carpet, plus easy to clean in case of spitup. Maybe a nice flat/smooth blanket would serve the same purpose.

Start with a minute or two and see how he takes to it - just put him on his tummy and get down next to him or in front of him so he can see you there, maybe a toy for him to look at. Eventually he'll work out how to pick up his head, and down the road he'll prop himself up on his elbows while he looks at a toy in his hands.

It's a cool adventure - hang on for the ride!!!!!

[vmcdonald28]

i agree - I think he wants to be on his tummy. My ds was exactly the same - he wanted to be in at everything from very early on.
He's 10 months now, and is still very lively and full of beans, but became so much happier when he was able to sit up, supported by cushions.
I really think your lo just wants to be involved with things, instead of lying down and letting the world go by. x

[prncss]

We do tummy time and he likes it for a bit... less than 10 minutes...  though he loves to sleep on his tummy. (we only allow it at nap time though cause of the increased risk of cot death...) I will try more tummy time throughout the day. We dont really just lie about though. I interact with him almost constantly... i feel guilty if i drift off, like if i am feeeding him with the TV on and i get caught up in a show... I read to him at feeding time (though of late he does not like it too much) it reassures me that he will grunt and fuss for one minute and smile for a second then start over again...$ weeks for your son huh? Well, okay. I will try to make the best of this! Thanks! 

[Mommy in Moose Jaw]

OH MY GOD! That sounds like my daughter!!!!  I was searching the boards for a place to ask the same question!  The only difference is that with her, that behavior escalated just a couple of weeks ago, she is six months now.  She seems SO frustrated ALL day long.  My interpretation was that she wants to be independent with movement but is unable to do it.  She doesn't even roll over yet and still sitting with support.  She grunts and growls almost all day long and is not very pleasurable to be around lately (feel guilty saying that).  I have noticed that as she grows, she is showing more spirited tendencies (4 questions answered as spirited now compared to one during first few months).  As I have little experience with a spirited baby, I wasn't sure if that was the issue or if I was missing something??  I was feeling like I couldn't keep her happy ie bad mommy syndrome   I have to switch her activities every few minutes whereas she used entertain herself for loads of time.  I was usually right there with her but she was content with her toys.  Now, she doesn't stop growling most of the time unless she's in our arms MOVING around the house.  From the outside, what does that behavior seem like?  A phase?  Wants to be able to get around?  Spiritedness?  Anything else?

[deb]

If your LO is on her back and seems to want to roll over, you can put your finger in one palm and when she grasps it, go ahead and give a little pull to help her roll over so she can see what it feels like. Sooner or later she'll get the hang of swinging her legs over to do it herself and she'll need less and less help. Putting a toy on one side of her, then helping her roll over to get closer to the toy might help motivate her to want to do it more herself.

You can also hang things over her if she needs a break and wants to be on her back for a while.  Tying a ribbon of a balloon on her wrist for her to bounce the balloon with might keep her fascinated for a good long time, although you DO have to be there with her when she has a ribbon so it doesn't end up around her neck. 

At six months she might also be looking to have more Mommy time, or to get into solids at the table/high chair. If you suspect Mommy time and have a good strong back, a carrier might give you both a break - she can see what you're doing and you get a break from the whining for a while.

And for tummy time, if you put him on his tummy on a fairly low-friction surface, like those foam puzzle mats, you can put your hands behind his feet to let him push off and get the idea of moving forward. Even if you only do it for a few minutes at a time, he'll get used to longer and longer tummy time and eventually will probably prefer it since he'll be able to get some motion on his own, to get to places. Be warned: once he gets used to moving, he won't want to stop!!!!

The good news is that once he gets the hang of doing stuff himself, you won't NEED to be with him constantly. Heck, in Natalie's case, with the older one, I CAN'T be with her all the time, or Josie would get lost in the shuffle (as if she'd let THAT happen LOL). There are times when I put her down and let her motor around and I'll check in on her from time to time to make sure she hasn't gotten into something she shouldn't and then go back to doing laundry or making supper. When she DOES need me, she really lets me know, and then I take a break and get some dedicated Natalie time when I can.