Sleepless nights

[Bobby brown]

My 12 week old baby boy is the best thing that has ever happened to me, but I am really desperet to get a good nights sleep. I have been reading other peoples sleep issues with there babies and the advise given sounds great but i have a baby who doesnt like pacifiers. I have tried the pick up and cuddle to get him calm, but the minute I put him down he gets himself so upset I end up getting him a bottle, which he either has half or three quarters of the contents. I have tried giving him water too but he refuses it and starts to cry.
I know I should be strong but I cant stand to hear him cry. Through the night I get up every 2 - 2 1/2 hrs and I am shattered. How do I know if he is hungry or is just wakeing out of habbit.
My little boy also hates to sleep in the day and if I put him down for a nap he gets himself so worked up that I end up cuddling him to sleep but the minute I put him down he wakes - Please help :?  :?

[GG]

A few questions which would help us to answer your questions.  Do you have a daily routine for your lo?  If so, please let us know what it is.  Also, how do you put your lo to sleep?  Do you just put him in his crib straight out or do you have a wind down routine?

As for the water... don't give him any.  As long as you are feeding him (I'm assuming formula based on your message) and following directions listed on the formula container, your baby will not need extra water or other liquid during the first 6 months of his life.

How much does he eat during the day?  I'm no expert on formula feeding, but it may help shed some light on the subject.

Thanks!

[Bobby brown]

Charlie is on the EASY routine.

His day normally starts between 6 - 7am.
He is on 3 hrs feeds of around 5 - 6 oz (Formula) and after being awake for 1.5 hrs he has a nap. I say nap cause they last around 30 - 35 mins. I am working on PU/PD/SHH & PAT, but he really fights me and in 4 days I have only got him back off twice.
The above pattern continues through the day till around 6.45pm when he then has a bath (I dont let him have a sleep after 5pm) then dressed for bed, then I allow him a bottle and he is in his cot by around 7.15 - 7.30pm.
Normally he does not need help to go off to sleep UNLESS he is overtired.

His feeds throught the night are wakes at 10.00pm for a bottle (around 4 oz) wakes again at about 1.00am (again has 4 - 5 oz) wakes again at 4.00am (again same amount) then wakes at around 6.00am because like clock work he has a dirty nappy, but plays in his cot for about 1/2 hr after nappy has been changed, but gets board so I have to get up.

Some nights his 1.00am feed moves to 2am which then has a knock on effect with his 4.00am moving to 5.00am but still will wake at 6.00 because of his dirty nappy.

I can cope with the cat naping but its the night feed, its killing me and my fiance. My poor fiance is going to work looking like a zombie and every day he is getting more and more exhausted.

I need some really good advise on weaning him off his night feeding..

Paula   :?

[GG]

Two things that stand out to me.  First, he is only 3 months old, so it's very possible that he needs to eat 3 times during the night.  However, I also noticed that he doesn't seem to sleep enough during the day.  If he doesn't get a nap after 5 PM and he goes to sleep at 7:30 PM (on average) every night, that's too long for him to be awake, especially at the end of the day.

I think that if you are able to teach him to fall sleep in his cot, on his own, during the day, he will get more sleep and he will only wake up when he is hungry during the night.  Of course, there is nothing you can do about the night-time wakings as most babies his age don't have a big enough tummy to hold enough food and last through the night.

Have you tried pat/shush yet in order to help both extend his naps and to get him to sleep on his own?

[Bobby brown]

Yes we are doing Shh, Pat but he fights me so much on it. He gets so upset that I end up giving up after so long... In 4 days I have managed to get him off twice. I will continue as I dont want to be defeated yet.

Yes I can see that his belly is only tiny but some times I get so tired I just long for him to sleep longer during the night.

I will be patient!!!

Thanks for your advise

[annas mum]

Hi there!
    Big Hugs t you - I knw how hard it is with the night wakings!! I'm there with my DS Nathan who is 15 weeks. Things that have helped us - swaddle, really tightly, as his flailing limbs will not let him sleep and as he has not yet found his thumb, he gets more and more worked up sucking on his fist. Pat shh did not seem to work for us, what did was making his bed like a little nest, so a blanket rolled up around him so it goes under his bum and up next to his sides in a u shape , made him feel like he was being cuddled. Also I have ended up settling him in his crib more, by laying one hand along his body to still his squirms, and then stroke his forehead. He will often fight it at first but this in general helps him get to sleep. Hang in there!! it will get better - I have a lovely 2 yr old who was also difficult to get to sleep at first and now sleeps beautifully!

HTH

Clare
mumto anna 2 yrs and nathan 15 weeks

[vic75]

I am no expert at all, being a first time mum myself, which is why I'm reading these pages, but have you considered your baby might have reflux? My daughter is now 13 weeks old and cried all the time and wouldn't sleep at all during the day (but slept well at night). She did not tolerate being put down. She is now on some medication and a new baby  .  You could try rolling him with a nappy change, instead of lifting his legs and slightly elevating his mattress so he sleeps at an angle of about 15 degrees (of course doing it in a way that the mattress is still firm, and he well supported in the cot/bassinett). If he is a bit better with those interventions then maybe it might be reflux.

[Bobby brown]

My DS is now taking around 7 - 8 oz per feed. He is still on 3 hr EASY and unfortunatly still wont nap longer that 30 - 40 mins.

He now has changed his night time sleep. He doesnt really want a feed after his dream feed where he takes a full bottle, but still insists on waking every 3 hrs and only takes 1 - 2 oz.
I have tried with PU/PD but it just gets him so frustrated and the only thing he wants is the bottle in his mouth. After taking the oz he wants to snuggle up in my arms and go back to sleep, so I put him back in his cot.

I tried leaving him in his cot for a good 10mins and have also left him for 1/2 hour to see if he will go back off, but he moans for so long then eventully it turns to the all out cry.

Over the last couple of weeks he has started waking every hour and I really dont know why. Although he only wants the bottle every 3 hrs I still have to lift him out of the cot to give him a cuddle for each hour in between.

If there is anyone who can help me??

[TayTay'smummy]

Hello. Sounds like your baby is not getting enough sleep during the day which makes him overtimulated the more a baby sleeps, the more he wants to sleep. pay really close atention to his sleep cues, which can be only a half after he wakes sometimes.

[Bobby brown]

Hi,
Yes I do agree that my DS does not sleep enough during the day, but I have tried with PU/PD at his naps times and he really gets himself in such a state.
I persisted with it for a few days but he got himself so angry he was scratching his face with temper and tried putting mits on him but they would not stay on long enough with his thrashing around so much. In the end I gave in due to the amount of scrates on his face. It broke my heart.

I have also tried making him a nest in his bed, where he had towles rolled up around him, but that failed to.

I really dont know what to do!

Any Idea's?

[GG]

My ds didn't sleep longer than 30-45 min during his naps when he was 14 weeks, either.  I, too, couldn't extent them (with some exceptions here and there because I kept trying to extend them for a few days every week or so) so I just modified his EASY routine to include 2 extra naps a day (so we had 2 extra rounds of EASY per day as well, with slight modification on the eat portion).  I had to do this for almost a month and a half but at least he got the extra sleep he really needed.  I didn't find out about about EASY (and other BW methods) until he was 14 weeks, at which point he was already doing the 45 min napping, which made it harder for me to try to implement.