Hi Jackie,
Hang in there, love.
I totally agree with Casey's post, once I started to actually stick with my routine I found my ds got much, much better at sleeping. Sometimes this means I put him to bed when I'm not sure if he's tired (he is), and sometimes I wake him from a sleep (yes, that's edge-of-the-blade stuff, but it seems to be worthwhile in the long run, and I tell myself he'd probably wake up within the next 5 minutes anyway!). :wink:
I also found that if ds woke and fussed, I was more likely to have a 1-2 hour resettling session if I went in and tried to help him settle. Maybe he's a little sensitive, but I think the shh/pat actually over-stimulated him. :roll: So, if I hear him stirring in the night (actually its usually more like anytime between 3.30am and 5.30am these days), I listen for night sounds (I'm getting better at determining what is just nighttime grumbles vs waking up noises) and get up before his fussing escalates into full-blown wakeup noises. I go into his room, plonk the dummy back in his mouth (no lights, no speaking), and find that he will go back to sleep straight away. If he doesn't, I do NOT go back in, but keep an eye on the time and usually find that if he cries, it is for 3-5 minutes before he is flat-out asleep once more. The great thing is, dh can put a dummy in and so sometimes I roll over and ask him to get up (and he does!). :shock:
So, in a nutshell, I reckon it could be worth seeing if your lo will settle better without you in the room, it worked for me, it might for you. Obviously though you need to keep an ear out and not let the fussing escalate at all. I give my lo a 5 minute time limit, and so far the worst has been during daytime naps, where I have had to go back in at 5 minutes, and then do the dummy thing, and then usually about 2 minutes more fussing and he's away.
Oh, and I know, I know. I will hate that dummy before too long. :roll: But, the way I see it, he doesn't wake up when it falls out of his mouth, he CAN and does sleep often without it (spits it out), and really, I want to instil good sleeping first, I will deal with the dummy once that is established.
Best of luck!!!