Extending 45 min naps working - but no more deep sleep?

[spudballoo]

I have a nearly 4 month old boy who is a champion of 45 min naps and always has been.  He is vaguely on 4 hour EASY, I say vaguely because he feeds every 4 hours but can't stay up long enough for 'proper' EASY, because he doesn't nap long enough.

I started shush/pat 3 weeks ago as I had accidentally parented him in to being rocked/bounced/fed to sleep.  This has been a great success, although I'm not confident he can fall asleep on his own yet. I have a horrible feeling that I might now be the prop. 

I can now extend just about all the naps I need to. I have tried wake to sleep but it doesn't work for him.  I go in around 40 mins and when he stirs I soothe him back to sleep again, in about 5 mins.  but then I have to stay in the room for the entire rest of the nap as he never gets to the deep sleep mode again, he just does endless cycles of REM and quite often jolts so I have to soothe him back. If I leave the room, he cries when he wakes because he's still tired. 

Is this because he hasn't yet learnt to fall asleep on his own? 

Certainly things are way better than they were, but I spend HUGE chunks of my day helping him to sleep and staying that way.

I started all this because night sleep, which had been great, went out of the window with the 3 mth growth spurt. I had hoped better naps would improve night sleep, but it hasn't.  And now the 4 mth growth spurt is upon us, heaven help me!

Sorry, long post. Basic question is: why doesn't he go in to a deep sleep again after extending the nap?

Thx, Spud & Bertie x

[Caroline-Charlies Mummy]

Hello, congratulations on getting this far, you sound like you are doing great

One thought did occur to me when I read your post - how are you soothing him back to sleep at the 40 minute mark? Is it sssh/pat, or a variation on that?

I go in around 40 mins and when he stirs I soothe him back to sleep again, in about 5 mins. but then I have to stay in the room for the entire rest of the nap as he never gets to the deep sleep mode again

It may be that this 5 minutes isn't long enough, and you're getting him into lighter sleep, but then stopping, and he's not going into deep sleep again. How about trying for a bit longer? Say 15-20 minutes. It may seem pointless as you are doing it, as he's asleep, but it may help him into that deeper sleep, and past his jolt. If this does work, you'll only have to do it for a few days then, as he gets used to it, and you may get some of that precious Y time we all crave

HTH, let us know what you think

[spudballoo]

It's a variation of shush pat which doesn't involve the shush or the pat! He is in a bedside cot, which is right up against the wall so I can't get 'at him' other than lying down next to him. Not ideal. So we do our wind down, pop him in the cot and lie next to him. When he fusses/cries I gently pin his arms to his sides and make a 'shooooosh' noise, almost like white noise.  This is what I do when he stirs from his nap. But, when he first goes down I can take my arms away within mins when I feel him relax, and leave when he looks v.drowsy. But for the extension, he continually stirs and wakes.

i tried leaving my arms there for 25 mins, he did go in to a deep sleep so I left. But he woke up crying 10 mins later.

I'm toying with swaddling him, although I'm not keen to introduce something at this stage which I know he'll have to be weaned from. But the 'human swaddle' is to stop him rubbing his eyes, trying to suck his hand but gagging etc which wakes him or keeps him up.

What shall I do?!

[Caroline-Charlies Mummy]

I'd try the swaddle, and not worry too much about having to wean it later. I found that it goes when he's ready without too much fuss (OK, well there was a bit of fuss, but we did need it at the time ).  It sounds like he's used to you controlling his arms, but when you go, he's waking himself up. The swaddle may be just what he needs.

Or - if you really don't like the idea, you'll have to gradually wean him off the way he's going to sleep at the moment. I think we were doing something similar at the same age. See if you can gradually, over the next few days, have less contact with him as he's falling asleep. This means holding him slightly less firmly, and gradually backing off from him as he drifts off. If you keep the 'shoooosh' noise as a constant, that may help. This won't be easy, but it may work without you swaddling him. This would eventually mean that he goes to sleep without you holding him, so he's not used to you being there, but then suddenly you are gone, and he wakes himself up and wonders where you are. It does depend somewhat on his own particular arm control. If he really hasn't developed much control yet, it may be that you'll just have to wait until he's a bit older.

HTH xx

[spudballoo]

Thanks Caroline, it does help - alot. I'm going to try the swaddle first, when he's tired he arms flail around all over the place. Then he rubs his head, then his eyes, then tries sucking his thumb but tries to shove the whole hand in and gags and starts moaning while trying to suck...but as soon as i pin his arms down he relaxes.  I guess I wanted someone to give me 'permission' to try swaddling!

Any tips for a good swaddle. What should I use, and I guess at night as well as for naps?

x

[Colesmom]

I've heard good things about the Miracle Blanket and the Aussie Swaddle.  Sorry-can't help you for links to either.

I used a large receiving blanket and wrapped him using the technique in the book "The Happiest Baby on The Block".  HTH

[Caroline-Charlies Mummy]

Here's a link for the Aussie swaddle, we never used it, but I've heard good things about it:

http://www.babywhisperer.com/forum/swaddling-technique-aka-quotaussie-swaddle-quot-vt1439.html

Good luck