help...need sleep

[nourishdesoul]

I need help. I am an exhausted single mom. My nine month old son has never really been a sleeper. I always put him down by eiether nursing or rocking, Well, it got to the point where he was getting up every 1-2 hours in the night adn was and still is taking 20-30 min naps. I co-sleep with him and I want to find a solution that allows us to continue sleeping together. WE wake up between 630-730 (sometimes earlier). I had been rocking hom to sleep for naps around 9am and 1pm. NOw I have been trying to rock him a little and put him down awake. I have tried lying with him until he sleeps and that has worked a couple of times--not anymore. He just crawls all over me. SO, I leave the room but he still crys for a long time 20min-1 hour and he sleeps for 20-30 min. At first he would sleep for an hours. For a day and half he was doing great. He slept for an hour each nap and woke up only 3 times in the night. Now it is getting worse not better. He is crying as we speak. He slept for 20min. I went back rocked him until he cloased his eyes and put him back down. Immediately he cries as if now he is not tired even tough seconds earlier he was drifting off to sleep. Please...how do I get sleep..how do we get sleep...the crying is tortuous...it feels so counter-intuitve to let him cry. yet, I am so exhausted I do not know what else to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[kirsty_167]

Im no expert but noone had replied so i want to send you a hug!!!

First off,you are already doing a great job,you said you are a single mom.....that in itself is a task.I was a single mum with my first child and i respect you.I know what it is like. Everything falls on your shoulders.My thoughts are with you.

I dont co-sleep so im not sure how to help you im sorry.All i can suggest is to continue as you are and stick to what worked before.Maybe its a developmental thing and he has become to rely on you to go to sleep.Is there anyway you could put him in a crib in your room? If not work your way through the problems.You may have to teach him to go to sleep on his own again....which will take alot of willpower.I go through this everytime jakob learns something new,which seems to be every other week so far!!!! ARGGHHH!!!

Im sorry im no help but i know what its like not to get a reply when yu really want some help.....feel free to pm me if you want to chat.............maybe we could talk more then about what to do.

Take care
big hugs to you and bubs
kirsty

[DJDG's mom]

Hi there!
I understand what you feel like, I'm not a single mom but my 10 month old was a terrible sleeper, day or night so I'm sure it's even harder for you doing it on your own!

I'll try to make this short; my son is breast fed and he always slept with me. At around 5 months he started waking up more often, like every hour or so, it was so frustrating. At around 6 months I decided to start letting himlearn to fall asleep on his own in his crib and then when I went to bed I would bring him with me. But he still woke up every hour or 2. It didn't make sense to me that at 6 months he would need to feed that often at night so I figured that I must be the reason he is waking, maybe he could smell the milk or maybe I disturbed him when I would move.

I spoke to a couple of pediatricians and a nurse about this and they all told me the same thing, that after 6 months, your infant does not need to feed at night. So, on the advice of a friend, at 7 months I let him sleep the night in his crib and I stopped the night feeds cold turkey! For a week and  half he would wake up every 3 hours and cry and I would reassure him. Then one night he just didn't wake up at all until about 6am! I was so happy to finally be able to sleep again!

The other thing was to get him to fall asleep on his own in his crib. I read in a book that the best thing to do was to nurse him until he was about to fall asleep but not to let him fall asleep while nursing. Then you put them in their crib, this way they are very sleepy but they fall asleep in one place and wake up in the same place. It's not as frightening for them when they wake up.

Don't get me wrong, we still have some bad nights, just this last week he started waking up at 3 am! Overall it's been so much better and please don't be intimidated to give up the co-sleeping, it will be better for you and your little one! Good luck!

Tara