Please help me Urgent

[ktmum]

Hello ladies

I REALLY NEED YOUR HELP
The situation is that my once good sleeper had turn in to the nightwaker from hell
As most of you are aware in going to be offline as of tomorrow and i really need some help
I will post a typical night
7.30-8pm Bed ( quick cuddle then down with out a problem)
She will then sleep until at leat midnight
Between midnight and 2am she will start to cry.
Last night she did this a 2am I then spent until 5am trying to get her back down ( I gave her a bottle a 3am but it didnt help)
She will sleep fine in my arms , but as soon as i put her in her cot all hell breaks loose
She clings on to me like shes either scared, in pain etc but she shows no signs of being ill in the day, she doesnt feel hot etc
She has always slept in the dark without a problem.

I suppose what im after is a way to deal with this, I really cant bear another night of sitting with her for 3+ hours
If I put her in her cot she wont lie down she will stand with her arms out and try and pull herself onto me

I really dont know what has happened to make her like this, but with moving house in 2 days time, Dhs depression and next to no sleep I just dont know what to do

Please help

Karenxxx

[corrina01]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} to you.

It maybe anxiety with all the stuff going on around you, as she doesn't know what is going on around her.

Just a suggestion, try sleeping next to her in the cot, so she won't feel abandoned.

[Deb_in_oz]

I agree with Corrina - i think she is reacting to all the stress and anxiety that is present but unspoken in the house. a lot is going on and she does not know how to process it well - lots of reassurance and extra loving in the day can help too - kisses, cuddles, telling her that everything is ok, etc

[ktmum]

Should I giver her a bottle in the night or do you think that might make matters worse??
If she has had a bad night should I let her sleep longer for her nap??
If she wont settle should i let her sleep with me?? ( on a matress in her room??)
Sorry for all the questions but i really dont want to feed the problem kwim

Thank you thankyou thankyou for your help all suggestions very welcome

Kxx

[Deb_in_oz]

at 18 mo i woudl say no to the bottle as it would start a food for comfort thing rather than hunger related.i would let her sleep longer if she has a bad night,but just balance it as best you can as you don't want her to not be tired for bedtime (you know her best)

if she won't settle i woudl say you could sleep on her floor as reassurance to her, but keep her in her cot/bed, especially during the move as you don't want to introduce co-sleeping if you don't want to have it ongoing, but woudl probably help her if you sleep in her room - just bear in mind that you will probably  have to do a gradual withdrawl plan to stop it later on. so just think about that first. you could see if change sin the daytime help her at night - even though she is only 18 mo talking to her can help her a lot

[ktmum]

Im going to take her to the doctors today too it just took me 1 hr to get her to nap and she normally goes down fine
I really need to get her to settle herself rather than being cuddled to sleep
Im going to show my ignorance now!! Can you do PUPD as late as 18 months???
Im at a loss so tired and feel like giving up

[Deb_in_oz]

was she upset or just not tired? could be a coincidence - maybe she needs a change in her routine more than anything. do youi want to post quickly her whole day - i am about to go to bed but will check back shortly.

[ktmum]

Thanks I think i may have missed you but i will post + hopefully catch you before i go off line tomorrow

At the moment her days goes like this

7am wake up
8am breakfast ( weetabix and crumpet)
8.30 - 10am General playtime a bit of tv
10am Bottle of milk
10.30am ( hopefully after a dirty nappy) Nap
12pm wake up
12.15-12.30 Lunch
1-3pm Go out ( park, shopping etc etc )
3pm Snack and playtime with daddy on his split shift
5pm Dinner
6pm Bath and get ready for bed
7-8 Quiet play in front room and bottle
7.30pm -8.30 Bed - Cuddle till asleep or nearly and put in cot
between 12am and 2 am she will wake

She used to have 1 bottle in the morning but has been having one in the night to try to get her to sleep

I cant thank you enough
Kx

[Deb_in_oz]

i would definitely move her nap later. at 18 mo i woudl think she would be taking a midday nap. what might be happening is she is not tired enough for nap at 10:30 and then when she does nap she is then up for 7 hrs and is overtired at bedtime.  i woudl move her nap to 12-12:30 after a lunch around 11:30/12.  my almost 1 yr old is already on 1 nap and does it at 12:30 so i imagine your 18 mo woudl certainly be fine with this switch (my 2.5 yo only did it at 15 mo but every kid is different).

i hope this helps. also, if she is not hungry enough for a full lunch at 11:30/12 you coudl give 1/2 before nap and 1/2 after (or keepthe fruit/yogurt part of lunch for after nap etc) amazingly my dd's both eat around 11/11:30 and are fine for the day. you might need to move her bottle of milk earlier in the day so that she willwant lunch/food before the nap but just play around with it. i do think this will help a lot.

let me know how you go when you get back online.  good luck!

[Khyan & Sahria's mum]

Is it possible that she is teething and has some pain ? because what you are describing is exactly how our days/nights go when Khyan is teething or 2 - 3 days before he comes down with something

When ever Khyan has trouble with naps or is awake for more than 30 mins in the night (usually 2 hours) then it's always something pain related.

But I also do agree with the nap being a little later in the day as it's a long time before bedtime and after one bad night she may be overtired the next due to lack of sleep the night before and then it's just worse day after day. So maybe playing around with that may be beneficial.

Also let me second the bottle in the night - If possible don't go there ! We did at about that age and he just kept waking night after night for that bottle - it took a fair few months before we took the plunge and got rid of the bottle and those first couple of nights were abit tough with lots of crying for the bottle. But saying that if you feel that this is right for the moment and then you will deal with it after you have done the move then by all means do whatever is right for you at the time.

Goodluck with the move - my fingers are crossed for you that things will sort themselves out once settled in the new place.