Stacie:
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First off, take a deep, well deserved breath.
Ok, I think the advice offered by the other mamas is great.
I just wanted to share my experience. My ds nursed every two hours during the day for the first two months. At night he would stretch it maybe to 3 or 4 hours, but that was it. But, for us, at the two month mark, he graduated to the three hour EASY. I could tell he was finished by his sucking, but what the last mama said is about true for us. A half hour or so for each nursing session.... yes, we do not much else but nurse in the early days. Bfing at the beginning is hard, real hard... but so worth it. I remember crying wondering if I would ever get more than an hour sleep, and guess what, it was over before I knew it.
Remember, babies root at that age, so it may not necessarily be hunger, he may just want to be sucking something. Some use a paci, my ds loved to suck on the trunk of a stuffed elephant we had.
I don't think he has a sleep issue, I just think he needs nursed often. Especially if he has gone 4.5 hours at night. Wow, I'm jealous, I don't think my lo did that until he was much older.
You may want to pump as you nurse or right after you nurse to increase your supply. If you just pump sparodically, your body doesn't know when it should be producing extra milk.
As for giving you hope, my ds started sleeping through the night with only a df at around 5 months. At about 4 months I think we were only up once or twice a night, but it's different for everyone.
One last thing, when my ds was that young, I didn't hesitate to nurse him in public... I know that's a very personal thing, but I would hope your friends and family would understand. I also didn't like missing the action, so I would just nurse the little guy in front of whoever I was with. If you practice at home, you can become quite proficent at doing it in public. But I do understand this is not for everyone and may not even be legal in all parts of the world. But if you can do it, you may not feel that nursing takes away from the everyday as much.
But remember, it does get much easier from here on in. Hang in there. We're here for support. Let us know what else we can do to help you.
{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}