Drop Dream Feed or Middle of the Night Feeding??

[UNCMomma]

I am new to these message boards, and really looking forward to participating!  I think hearing others' experiences along with reading are the best lessons in parenting you can get!  At the advice of another mom on another thread, I am reposting this as a new thread so I can hopefully get some good advice!!

Here is my issue with the dream feed... (My baby is 8 weeks old by the way)

Up until a few days ago, our night time schedule went something like this-
Bath, Breastfeeding, in Bed by 7:30 or 8
Wake for dream feed at 10:30
Baby wakes on her own anywhere from 2:30 to 4:30 (not 4:30 very often!) to eat.
***Here's where it goes haywire!!  After this middle of the night feeding, she was WIDE AWAKE and unable to get back to sleep.  At last resort I ended up putting her in bed with me, alternating between paci and breastfeeding before she would FINALLY settle down and go back to sleep.  I noticed her sleep for the rest of the night (actually morning) was pretty restless.  Also, the middle of the night feeding wasn't a huge feeding, and she would get full and not want anymore (which is why I had to use the paci some)***
Wake up for the day, 7 AM

Well, last week when I tried to wake her for the dream feeding, she WOULD NOT wake up (diaper change, cool washcloth, EVERYTHING I tried!) So, I got tired of trying and put her back down, expecting to be back up by 12 AM.  Do you know that she still slept until the usual time?!? (2:30-4:30)  So the past few nights, I've been eliminating the dream feed, so she sleeps from 7:30 or 8 until between 2:30 and 4:30!  We continue to have the same issue mentioned above (trouble going back to sleep).

My question is, should I continue to eliminate this dream feed?  I truly do not think she needs both the dream feeding and the middle of the night feeding.  She is very clear about being 'full' and just refuses to eat anymore when she is.  I actually don't mind getting up once a night IF she would go easily back to sleep.  But I don't want to screw up the whole night-time thing by eliminating the dream feed too early, if that could happen.  She is gaining weight well and seems to get plenty of milk throughout the day, so I'm not worried about too few feedings.  We're simultaneously dealing with short naps (unless she's in her swing) but that's another issue entirely...

Any advice would be helpful!  Thank You!!

Amanda

[brightside]

Its up to you but as your lo gets older and needs more milk, then its better to give it her between 10-11pm because if she has it in the early hours, she may not take as much at her morning bottle, reinforcing the night wake because she won't take as much in the day. The DF is also very useful for when they hit growth spurts. Having said that, the DF doesn't suit all babies and some find that it actually causes more wakes so you need to decide what's best for you and your lo. Just thought I'd let you know what might be to come in the future! 

[jsorrow24]

Well, I think you might want to try a bottle of breastmilk on the dreamfeed. You could even do formula if you wanted. Because on the dreamfeed you do not wake the child. And breastfeeding a sleepy child can be tricky. I believe there is a section in Tracy's 2nd book, about dreamfeeding and if you are breastfeeding. Has your LO taken a bottle before? You could pump for this feed into the bottle. When you pick your LO up, do not wake. Just put the bottle in her mouth and she will start sucking away. When she is done you can lay her back down. Tracy says in her books you do not have to burp, but I always sit my lo upright or lay on my chest and gently pat to burp him. He never wakes up during this.

Do you cluster feed in the evenings any? That would help fill her tummy too and she may go longer in the middle of the night and won't need that feed.

Are you doing anything extra when you feed her in the middle of the night? Are the lights off and no talking to her? Also, do you swaddle your LO? That has helped with our LO. He sleeps a lot more peacefully. I recommend the amazing miracle blanket. You can find it at Amazon.com or babycenter.com I believe. It's pricey, but so worth the money.

Swaddling at nap times can help also. Naps are so much fun aren't they 

Hope this helps.

Jennifer (NCSU Fan, lol)

[UNCMomma]

Thanks for the advice, Cath and Jennifer!  I think you're both right that the Dream Feed is a good one to stick with.  That way HOPEFULLY we can cut out the middle of the night feeding eventually and get a good night's sleep!!  I especially like the idea of the bottle, Jennifer.  In the few instances it has been offerred, she takes a bottle pretty well, so I'll have to try pumping and see what happens.  I might even try formula, since that seems to stay on their tummies a little longer and she HAS taken formula before too.  Even when BF, she doesn't open her eyes she just latches on and goes to town.  But on especially sleepy nights it's not as easy to get in her mouth as a bottle would be!!

Opposite from my 1st daughter, Kinley is not up for cluster feeding.  She has to be spaced out at least 3 hours or she doesn't get in a good feeding.  Too bad, that would be a good idea too. 

I do no extra stimulation in the middle of the night, besides an occassional diaper change.  And I too use the Miracle Blanket to swaddle, which I LOVE!!  For now, it's the ONLY way she'll sleep, nap time too (even in the dreaded swing!).  It WAS worth the $$

Thanks again, I'll let you know of any progress!
Amanda

(NCSU is okay, as long as it's not Duke ha ha)

[jsorrow24]

Good to hear you have the miracle blanket. My lo is getting too long for it, so I just swaddle his arms now, which I think is more important anyway since they usually wake themselves up with their hand flailing anyway.

And one thing I noticed, that after 8 weeks my lo was easier to go down at naps and bedtime. Those first few weeks of doing sssh/pat paid off. It really works if you stick with it. I too had some nights when our ds wouldn't go back to sleep, but it only happened 2 or 3 times thank goodness. I don't know why she would be wide awake in the middle of the night. Sometimes my ds does, but I just use the paci for a little bit to relax him again then when he is driting off take it out and he goes back to sleep.

Anyway, keep that dreamfeed and let us know how it goes. It is still too young for your lo to sleep through without that middle of the night feed. Some do, but the majority really don't sleep through the night until around 4 months. And even some older children still wake in the night for whatever reason. My 3 year old dd still does from time to time.

I would keep offering the bottle in the middle of the night. Of course, you have an older one so you know what I mean.

Have a good night!

Jennifer