4 month old refuses more then 8 hours sleep!

[shimmer]

... but is extremely cranky!

We used to be able to help her sleep for 12 hours with frequent night wakings when she had colic.  Because of this, her bedtime used to be 10 PM at the earliest, but we could get her to sleep (somewhat until 10 the next day).  We finally moved her bedtime to 8, and she would (sort of) sleep until 8... but then daylight savings hit.  We couldn't put her to bed at 8 because she has a fierce problem with 30 min naps, and when we got her down (yes, we have a bedtime routine) she would wake at 8:30 and be almost impossible to get back to sleep for over an hour.   So we've been trying to gradually mover her from 9 to 8, somewhat unsuccessfully.  Last night, she didn't officially go to bed until about 11 for some reason... (she woke up every 15 min. for almost 2 hours)! This morning, she woke up at 6, so I fed her, and she fought my attempts to get her to sleep until now, 8 am, and I've finally given up.  She's extremely cranky right now, but won't sleep.  I'd give you our EASY routine, but we don't have one because the child fights me so hard!  I know she wants more sleep because on a good day (which is still pretty bad) she welcomes it and is happy.  I'm working on extending her naps, because, if I don't, she'll have 6 or 7! 

I'm really frustrated and sick of crying... both hers and mine.  Yesterday her routine looked like this

7:45 wake
9:30 nap (sat there doing pat/sh to extend it and finally gave up at 10:50)
11:00 feed
12:45 nap (she woke up after 1/2 an hour, fought me for another 30 and then finally, slept w/ me... no other choice...)
2:30 feed
4:00-4:30 catnap
5:00 cluster feed
6:30 catnap
7:00 cluster feed
9:00 bed

and she woke at 9:15, 9:30, 10:00, 10:45, and finally stopped at 10:45.  Woke at 12:30.  Pat/sh'ed for 20-30 min.  Feed her at 2:30.  Feed at 6:00 and she's basically been awake ever since.  This child needs more sleep!  She wants it, but won't take it!  I'm losing my mind!  I wonder if I should just go back to 5 catnaps a day, until she lengthens them on her own.... but she is so cranky that way!   

Anybody want to adopt a beautiful little girl?

[brightside]

After keeping a sleeping log with my DS for several weeks I learnt that I had more night wakings when he had a catnap that went past 6 and a bedtime later than 8pm. This may not be the case for your DD but might be worth looking into. Why are you doing cluster feeds? I don't think you need to do them now unless she is in a growth spurt. Maybe you could make her bedtime 6.30pm instead of giving her catnap. Its ok to feed her just before a sleep as long as she doesn't fall asleep with the bottle. I'd feed her about 6pm and then try a bedtime of 6.30 for a while and see how that affects her sleep. Then try a DF at 10pm. If you don't want to do a DF, then just leave her to wake on her own for food and settle her back to sleep afterwards. Her naps in the day are probably a result of a bad nights sleep and vice versa. A vicious circle. Try the early bedtime and see what happens. It doesn't mean that she will wake earlier in the morning.

[shimmer]

The only problem is... whenever I put her down for an earlier bedtime, she does it like a nap.....

... and wake to sleep isn't working very well.

So how do I make a bedtime earlier w/out it becoming a cat nap?

[brightside]

Do you have a bedtime routine that you follow every night? Maybe she needs those cues that its now night time. Try making nap and bedtime routines completely different. If you already do this then maybe she just needs to learn a new habit and you just need to keep working on her getting back to sleep. Maybe try PU/PD?

Hopefully someone else might have some other ideas for you. 

[shimmer]

I do have a bedtime routine.  It has never helped us move her in greater then 15 min. increments.  It must just be a habit.  PU/PD always seems to enrage her.  So, i guess I'll stick with pat/sh and cross my fingers that someday it will consolidate...?

[leahbeth]

HI Shimmer!
I so understand your frustration with a baby that needs to sleep, but fights every minute of it. We too had a colicky first three months which ended up with a bedtime at 10:00 for a long time. We are currently struggling with naps as well! We have been slowly making her bedtime earlier and earlier and now we are at 7:30. For the longest time, my LO would do the same as nap time and wake up every 35 min. until around 9:30. I thought I was going crazy, but slowly she would wake less and now she only wakes about once after we put her to sleep. We still have 3-4 wakings during the night, but she at least is starting her night sleep much earlier  and we get a little us time.

Like Brightside, we kept a log and saw that when she napped after 6:00, she would wake more often. We are still figuring out the nap situation but as long as she has a catnap between 4:30 and 6:00 we can put her to bed around 7:30ish.
Hang in there, and keep trying. I didn't think the early bedtime was working but it eventually did and she is much happier in the morning because of it!
Good luck!!!!