Hi,
I'm new to this website and to parenting - a fabulous friend put me onto the Babywhisperer about a week ago. Have been devouring the book and perusing this website and feel sooooo much more confident and relaxed about parenting my 5wk old DS. Already Tracy's techniques and explanations are working great and make so much more sense out of this massive learning curve.
Anyway, my problem at the moment is getting DS to extend his naps. In his first 2 weeks he was a good napper (if I could get him off to sleep inthe first place), and has always slept very well at nights, only waking for feeds and then straight back to sleep. However, he now only seems to nap for 35-45mins at a time- reading the sticky on wake to sleep it seems that he's having trouble getting back into the next sleep cycle. I don't know if we triggered this problem cos my mother has been staying for 3 weeks and we would go out each day and also he got handled a lot when he got cranky. As a result I think he was getting overtired, and whenever he woke he'd end up being picked up, rather thanbeing given a good enough chance to get back to sleep.
Since mum left last thursday I have implemented a consistent windown routine which is working beautifully and DS seems to get off to sleep very well. I have also tried to really limit outings (while we sort this out) to give him the best chance to have some peace and quiet.
SO, to try and extend his naps I have been sneaking in about 20-25mins after he drops off and applying gentle pressure to his arms (he's a strong little flailer) and legs and trying to catch the jolt that seems to happen at around 30-35mins, and hopefully get him past the 45 mins mark. In the past 3 days it has worked 2-3 times and he has slept for another cycle (I wanted to do the same at the next one but missed the slot - I need at timer!!). Once he's woken, he doesn't seem to be able to get back to sleep again - despite attempts to redo the windown routine etc.
Pat/shh doesn't work on him, he just gets more awake - it only works to calm him if he's crying, and during the cuddle before I put him down in his cot. Then he goes off to sleep far better without me there, than if I hover around (as low key as I can) shhing or applying pressure (patting while he's in his cot really doesn't work). Which is a bit of a pain cos then it's slight guesswork as to when he actually drops off into deep sleep.
So, because the pressure doesn't really seem to have much success at getting him through the jolt, and shhing doesn't work to ease him through either, I'm wondering if the more effective method would be to partially wake him before that 30-35min mark? Since I'm new to these techniques I'd love to hear your thoughts on this - is it applicable in this particular situation, and for his age, and how best should I go about implementing it?
I'd really appreciate any comments/suggestions you might have.
Oops, just read the 'please read before you post' thread and should include the following details:
DS is on a 3hour easy routine with cluster feeds at about 5:30pm and 7:30pm. Bathtime is before the 7:30pm feed. so he generally has a feed at 7amish, 9:30-10amish, 12:30ish, 3ish, 5:30ish, 7:30-8:ish, 11pmdreamfeed, then he usually wakes me once or twice for a feed during the night, but settles right back to sleep after. Feeding is good although he bobs on and off the boob a bit, perhaps distracted by his bowels? Though it's early days yet, I think he's mostly a textbook baby with a bit of touchy and spirited thrown in here and there.
Windown routine is - swaddle tightly since he's good at getting his arms out, curtains&lights off, quiet sit and cuddle with pat and shh if fussing/fidgety and put into cot (warmed with hoer bottle - it's autumn here in New Zealand) when he's quiet and starting to close his eyes. All the while telling him quietly that 'it's time for a sleep'. I then give him a kiss and walk leave him. He usually settles to sleep in 10-20mins). As he is only managing pretty short naps, he generally gets fussier and crankier as the day rolls on and is at his worst between 5pm and bathtime. Then bath and feed work their magic and he usually goes to sleep after and won't wake for hours - if I skip a dreamfeed he has gone 6-7hours until he wakes for thenext feed (Though of course I wake repeatedly listening for him and sometimes end up pacing the floor waiting for him to wake since my boob feels too uncomfortable to sleep!
).
He does have a pacifier but I've been trying to limit it's use to calming him when he's really wound up, and when I want to stall him a bit before his next feed. As soon as he gets into stage2 it falls out and wakes him up so I've avoided using it to get him off to sleep as I don't want to be a yoyo going back and forth putting it back in.