Desperately Need Help with 8 Mnth

[Purple_Rose]

My LO is 8 month old, (spirited/grumpy baby) i have to admit that she is not on any kind of routine. I have dont lots of accidental parenting such as co-sleeping, which lead to her breastfeeding to sleep.

I have now moved to her to the other room in her own bed, but because of the accidental parenting my daughter doesnt know how to put herself to sleep. She needs to be breastfed to sleep. She wakes up 3-4 times during the night and again needs to breast feed to sleep. Last night i ended up sleeping next to her, with her on my boob as this was the only way for me to get some sleep.

She doesnt nap well in the afternoon either, and once she is up can stay upto 4+hrs without having a nap.

I know that PU/PD but i am not quite sure as to how to do it.

I am in desperate need of your help as I really dont know what to do or where to start.

Need help...Sleep deprived Mum

[Richelle]

HI,

Do you have The Baby WHisperer Solves all Your Problems?

There is some great detailed advice on PUPD in it.  There is also a PUPD message board here.

You are on the right track that this is what you need to do to help her learn to fall asleep on her own.  At this point I would suggest just a PD.  For example I am sure she sits up on her own?  Once she does this in the crib lay her nback down, whilst reassuring her with your voice.  Picking her up PERIOD is just going to prolong things, use your voice and maybe a hand on her back to help calm her.

There are going to be major tears but as long as you are there helping her don;t feel bad, she is just confused and this is the only way she knows how to communicate this.

You may also want to check out the PUPD message board and the Props message board for ideas how to help her.

Let us know how you get on,

Richelle

[Purple_Rose]

After reading some threads on this forum i figured i should start with teaching LO how to sleep. So i started with her at bedtime. At 8 pm I took her into the room, dimmed the lights and breastfed her until i noticed that she was drowsy. I took her off the breast and put her on the bed and she fussed, i did the PU/PD and then she calmed down but didnt sleep. She was in a playing mood and kept coming to me and i continued to do PU/PD...this lasted for about 45 mins - 1 hour.

DH was in the room for moral support anyway at about 9pm she started to cry, mantra cry and i still did PU/PD but she just kept on crying, and crying and crying. Until my DH suggested that i b/f her as she was sweating and we really felt for her, and i gave in and breast fed her. I know it is cruel but i didnt know what else to do...

How long do i do PU/PD for? 1 hr, 2 hr, 3 hrs???

Please i really need your help...

I am really determined to help teach LO how to sleep as i know its for the best...

[Purple_Rose]

HI,

Do you have The Baby WHisperer Solves all Your Problems?

There is some great detailed advice on PUPD in it.  There is also a PUPD message board here.

You are on the right track that this is what you need to do to help her learn to fall asleep on her own.  At this point I would suggest just a PD.  For example I am sure she sits up on her own?  Once she does this in the crib lay her nback down, whilst reassuring her with your voice.  Picking her up PERIOD is just going to prolong things, use your voice and maybe a hand on her back to help calm her.

There are going to be major tears but as long as you are there helping her don;t feel bad, she is just confused and this is the only way she knows how to communicate this.

You may also want to check out the PUPD message board and the Props message board for ideas how to help her.

Let us know how you get on,

Richelle

HI Richelle

I actually do have that book, but i am still not very clear on what to do i have been reading thoes forums. And i figured that i wont know unless i try and that is what i did. I dont think a hand and my voice is enough to calm LO, she wants to be carried and i did that and once she was setteled i would put her down while talking to her explaning what i was doing. Unfortunately it didnt help as i posted above.....

[Richelle]

HI,

I had suggested NOT doing the PU part and only doing PD.  Use your voice reassuringly "sshhhhh I know it is hard but we are only going to sleep.." and maybe a hand on her back.  If she sits up or tries to get up simply but her back down, do not pick her up.  It may also help if your DH did it as your DD knows that you have the 'milk' so it may be easier on everyone if your DH could give it a try.  This technique will not 'calm' her per say, she will still cry and get really upset but as long as you are there helping her it will be OK.  It could take as long as 2-3 weeks of this but like I said picking her up is just going to take you back to the begginning.  She WILL settle on her own, in her crib if even out of exhaustion but it WILL get better.

Hang in there, it doesn;t happen overnight but it will work if you have a PLAN (maybe write one out with your DH) and stay CONSISTENT.

Richelle

[Purple_Rose]

Thank you for replying so prompty Richelle, what does PD stand for?

I see where i went wrong i should not carry her just try to re assure her with my voice and hand (oh my that is going to be something). I am sure DH wouldnt mind helping out, i thank you for your help i will try reading more on PD and i will surely keep you posted.

[Richelle]

HI,

Sorry PD = Put Down.  So just PD part without the PU.

HTH