BF Confusion.. Advice Please

[MarisaA]

Hi there

I have a 2 year old and a 6 week old.  I bf  my 2 year old for 18months and really enjoyed the experience.  I tried to wean him at 8 months due to an illness I had at the time but was unsuccessful, so continued to bf till 18months.  Looking back I was very happy and proud to bf for so long.  The only thing is that I could never get him to drink cows milk and now he has no dairy products in his diet at all.  I wonder if it is because I breast fed for so long?

However, with my baby, at only six weeks, I am already REALLY tiring of the breastfeeding and I don't know why. I don't feel I'll even last 3 months. She feeds really well at this stage and is putting on good weight gains.  She generally needs alot of help in getting her to sleep between feeds and can be very unsettled at times.  (could this be because the breast milk is not satisfying enough?? ie not heavy enough in her tummy?)

I don't know whether I feel like this because I feel alot more tired this time round, probably because I have a toddler to run after as well as look after my baby...but I have mixed emotions on what to do. 

Currently I give her one bottle of formula a day, after her nightime bath when my supply seems a little low, but I breast feed throughout the day and during the night when she wakes.  Some days I feel like putting her on full time formula, but other days I feel like continuing the breast feeding and am worried that I may regret it if i stop entirely.

At night, I am so physically exhausted that when she wakes I breastfeed her lying down in our bed, and eventually both she and I fall asleep and I wake in the morning with her still in my bed and in my arms...I know I am setting up bad habits here but I am just sooo tired that even though I vow not to do it, it happens every night.

I don't know what to do   Any advice / thoughts / opinions would be appreciated.

Many thanks
Marisa

[Miche]

Hi Marisa

I was in a very similiar situation to you afew weeks ago.  My LO is nearly 9 wks old and was totally breast fed up until about 3 weeks ago.  I was completely exhausted,he was hungry every 1 1/2 - 2 hrs, was difficult to settle but the health visitor was happy because he was putting on weight really well!

I started to introduce a bottle of formula during the day just to give myself a break and noticed he was easier to settle after this, and now I'm breast feeding him first thing in the morning, tea time and one before bed.  The other times he takes a bottle and will go 3 to 3 1/2 hours between, and upto 4 1/2 between his night feeds.  I felt guilty at first because I wanted to breast feed exclusively for the first 4 or 5 months before going back to work but now I realise that he seems much happier and settled with this combination.  Also because my milk has adjusted to these feed times, he seems to actually 'get more' out of me when I'm feeding him as well.  It took a couple of weeks but I'm feeling better, he is happier and he is still getting breast milk which I will be able to continue with for longer I think, than if I had tried to struggle on providing exclusively.

I hope these thoughts help you alittle, 

[MarisaA]

Hi Miche
Thanks for your reply your comments are really helpful. My LO is also feeding around 2hourly during the day, and it's exhausting.  I think I will introduce a formula during the day as well, and continue the nighttime one, while still breastfeeding the other times...and see how I go from there..

[JacobMarksMummy]

Do you think you could be feeling a little resentful of your boobs not being yours again allready? It could be that as nursing is so much eaisier once they are older the shock of the hard work nursing new born involes is making you feel this way. It sounds as though you could do with a break, if your new baby takes a bottle is there someone who could look after both little ones whilst you rest. Even if its just so you can spend the morning in bed and then having a bath, you might find your outlook is different once you've had a rest.

I dont think your son not wanting dairy would be related to bf, kids are fickle with what they eat I'd just keep trying him with different things and try not to show your worry.

I do hope you persevere through this rough patch but dont feel guilty if your cant. Any amount of time bf is contributes towards your babies health  

[Miche]

I'm pleased my thoughts helped alittle. 

 When I told my partner I wanted to introduce a bottle during the day, he got all excited and asked if he could give Luke that feed as he had been feeling alittle left out of feeding times and wanted another excuse for a cuddle!

Going back to what Jacob's mum said above, having someone else give Luke a bottle really did help me feel that I was getting a much needed break and that there actually was a time during the day when I wasn't stuck on the sofa feeding!

[daisymelan]

I don't know whether I feel like this because I feel alot more tired this time round, probably because I have a toddler to run after as well as look after my baby...but I have mixed emotions on what to do.

I think that says it all right there.  Bfing takes a lot out of you without another lo to look after. 

{{{{{{{{{{{{Bigs hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I'm sure you remember how quickly bfing got easy aroudn the second or third month mark.  I would at least give it until then.  Your lo is soon going to adjust to a longer EASY and then you will have more of a break.

But whatever you do, be confident in your decision.  A happy mommy is the best mommy!

About the sleeping.....  who cares if you are breaking a "rule".  Goodness knows we've all been there.  There was a thread a few months back about how you wake up and wonder if your lo is still laying next to you or if you slept walked and put them back in their crib!  LOL

This will all soon pass hun.  Hang in there!

[MarisaA]

sorry for not replying sooner it has been a busy few days.  thank you for all your advice.  My lo ends up waking up in my bed every morning, and you're right, I never remember how she got there!!!  I have decided i will offer two bottles of formula a day, and the rest breast feed...and see how i go for now.  It is so exhausting and my lo needs so much help getting to sleep that i feel that i'm at it non stop.... hopefully it is a passing phase.
thanks for all your advice and support.