Thanks for responding. I know the grandparents didn't do much pu/pd because they couldn't handle the long crying sessions . . . I have lots of retraining to do!
Anyway, I usually do get her up if it is time for her to eat, even if I did pu/pd for over an hour. She is clearly exhausted and usually screams LOUDLY most of the pu/pd time. She hates it: arches her back, pushes with her arms & legs and SCREAMS loudly anytime I do it. So 2 days ago I started just leaving her in her crib and holding her arms down and talking to her. This method seems to work a little better and doesn't get her as worked up . . . seems to soothe her, while pu/pd just agitates her. Then I slowly back out of the room once she is calm but still awake. This can go on for up to 45 minutes, but she does go back asleep. It seems to be modified pu/pd, in that I am there for her to soothe her, but am allowing her to fall asleep on her own. Do you think it's ok?
Also: should I allow her to take one short 30-45 minute nap, then make the other nap longer (1-1/2 to 2 hours)? Is this enough sleep for her? Or should I do my modified pu/pd if naps are under an hour? She is a difficult baby to read because she can appear wide awake before a nap with no signs of sleepiness and sleep a long time, then when she appears sleepy she can sleep only 30-45 minutes. So how do I know if she has had enough sleep?
Thanks again for your help - it's much appreciated!
