foster babies

[momma zee]

I'm a fostermom and really only take kids under 4, right now I have a 4 1/2 month old, a 14 1/2 month old and a newly 3 year old. Summer is almost here and I want to try this program on my kids. can anyone help me with suggestions? since I never know my kids when they arrive at my door I don't know their schedules. where do I start?

thanks momma zee

[maggieruth]

are the children all with you now?  did/do they all arrive together?  these things would help to know.  what you do for children is wonderful btw!

[Ennypen]

Hiya - you're a superstar!

I work with foster carers like yourself every day as I advise carers and schools on the education of children who are in care.
Unfortunately I've only been a mommy myself for 10 months so would not be best placed to advise you on what to do at home with the little ones that you foster but I can say what I think I would do if it were me. (Don't tell DH just yet but I am hoping the we might foster one day when our family is complete and old enough to understand and foster with us).

This is only a guess here.. but many little ones who end up in foster care here in the UK do not have a schedule as such as their parenting may not have been consistent or positive so a schedule or pattern such as the one EASY provides may be something new to them. I guess if it were me I would spend some time observing the LOs seeing when they are hungry, seeing when they get tired, how long they are able to be awake between needing to nap etc and then fitting your observations to the typical EASY patterns described on here for children their age if you can.

There are posts on here somewhere on the EASY board about starting EASY with babies of various ages I think so I encourage you to go over to the EASY board and have a look through the posts. There are also threads there for parents of LOs of various ages who I bet would be pleased to help you to know what is typical for a child of their age if you post there. There's also an excelent toddler section on here where you'll get oodles of advice about your 3 year old.

Take care and good luck with the little ones. You are so very special!

Helen xx

[Erin M]

You'll find that different aspects of the Babywhisperer program are going to work differently for the different kids.  (Wow, too many "differents" in that sentence!)  As Helen mentioned, there's loads of great advice on getting started in the EASY forum, in addition, there are sample schedules for LOs of different ages that will really help you see what the day of a baby looks like -- you'll find that different LOs have different "typical" days, but they all fit into the same basic pattern.

Have you had the opportunity to read Tracy's books at all?  If you think that the Babywhisperer philosophy would work well for your foster kids after looking around the site for a bit then it might be worth some time to read them.  They're available in lots of libraries if you don't want to purchase them right away.  They will give you loads of advice on how to get started and how to find a routine that works best for the LOs. 

I think a lot also depends on what kind of background your LOs are coming to.  If they have never had a routine, I would think it would be difficult at first, but well worth it in the long run, especially with the youngest one.  Are there any health/emotional issues that you'll be dealing with?  Definitely something to take into account when setting up a routine as well. 

Good luck!

[momma zee]

I have her books (all three: infant, toddler and the other one) but I don't know where to start or who to start with? I have had the infant and 14 month month old for 2 months and the 3 year old for 1 week. next week school is out and i will be a sahm for the summer. between visit and dr appointments I want to get them all on a schedule.

[Erin M]

Hmmm....I'm thinking about this.  First off, does the 3 year old have anything resembling a schedule?  I would think that if he/she's got something close to a schedule that works for you then I would leave that as is and work with the others.  If you're dealing with a lot of night wakings or something similar, maybe start there. 

On the other hand, anything that needs to be changed with the 3 year old will probably take the longest so in that regard I might start with your 14 month old and/or your infant.  At 4 1/2 months, the infant will probably be the easiest to get on track, though it depends too on their personalities.

What I'm going to do is ask some of the other mods with experience with more than one child to look at your post and see if they've got any ideas.  In the meantime, if any of them have anything resembling a schedule could you post that to help us out?  Also, are there any issues that you'd really like to resolve sooner than later (lots of night wakings, eating issues, napping issues, etc?).  That would help too.

[annas mum]

Hi Momma Zee
   First off HUGE KUDOS to you for opening your house and you heart to these little ones. Before we can point you in the right direction it would help to find out what things are going on now. What time do they all get up, do they sleep through the night? Do the 14 month old and 3 yr old eat 3 regular  meals  - do they have any feeding issues. Is the little one on bottles only? - How much does he take at a feed and how many feeds does he have. What time do they all go to bed at night? Do they settle alone or need your assistance.
Post back and we'll try and help out

((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))))

Clare

Mum to Anna 30 months and Nathan 38 weeks