Could you help me with EASY plan before baby arrives?

[Ali's mum]

Hi there, thank you for the forum opportunity

I am a big fan of Tracy and her methods.  Our first baby is term in 2.5 weeks, and my husband and I are soaking up as much EASY information as we humanly can to get off on the right foot, but we have a couple of obstacles that lay ahead of us.  The major one being the layout of our home not facilitating our extreme desire to foster an independent child.  The attachment style of parenting or co-sleeping is one we both want to avoid (it's just not our style), we would like to have our baby in its own space from day one.  First question, is it a tough transition for baby to move from bassinet to crib, or would you suggest going straight for the crib?  I am pretty sure Tracy would say go straight for the crib, but here comes issue #2:  the only place where the crib could be located for quiet times is in our bedroom.  I'm worried about baby become dependent on our presence by sleeping in the same room as us.  I thought that maybe bassinet would help with that issue, because baby can't see through the sides, but understand that crib is probably a better place to start him/her out from the get go.  But then s/he would be able to see us, and I don't want that to resemble any kind of attachment/co-sleeping needs.  What do you think about putting up "curtains" around the outside perimeter of the crib to block us out? Any suggestions?  I wish we had another room for the baby, but we simply don't yet - we're in a high rise condo in the city for now!

Thanks for any help you can provide, I appreciate it...

[Ennypen]

I am certainly not an expert with EASY but I just wanted to say that having your LO in the bassinet in your bedroom  and having him/her able to see you will not create a baby who is reliant on your presence to sleep. William slept in our bedroom at first on his baby chair as that was all he would settle in, and then after a few weeks in his crib, until he was 6 months old. I chose to do this due to the advice that having your LO in your room can actually help to reduce the risk of SIDS. He then transitioned into his cot in his own bedroom without trouble. He now prefers to sleep in his own room without people around and sleeps really well. Rest assured you don't need special curtains or anything like that - enjoy the special time lying in bed listening to your little ones tiny snores and grunts - its gorgeous.
I know that you want an independant child - but your little sweety is going to need and want you close for some time after arrival... Will spent his first 4 days of life on my chest as it distressed him to be away from me. The drs and all assured me that you can't spoil a baby that young so I treasured that special time. There will be a time for independance to be built - don't rush it. xxxx

[LŠuren]

Thanks Ennypen 

mumtobe, congratulations and I hope everything goes well for over the next few weeks. I have re-named your post "Could you help me with EASY plan before baby arrives?" - this is ensure that all BW 's feel they can help you out with their experiences.

Let us know how you get on.

[estherofi20]

Hi first, i wanted to say CONGRATS on your almost there new baby!!!!

I had my DS sleeping in our room in a bassinet for the first 3 months of his life, this was because he was getting 2 or 3 times at night to feed, and of course it was much more conmfortable for me to have him in there, than going tons of times to his room at night, that way i could sleep a bit (only just a bit though ) more, and i had no problem transitioning him to his room and to his crib, so i don't think you would have much problems there.

And regarding EASY, well,  what i did whith my DS at first was just to keep to the order of things, that is the really important issue, not eating to sleep, teaching how to sleep independantly and all. I didn't follow a schedule per se, the first 3 to 4 weeks of my DS's life, when i started to see a more predictable eating pattern, that's when i started whit the schedule, 'cause i wa s seeing that he was getting hungry at the 3hr mark, so that's when i started to wake him from naps and everything else, so just like i said, in the beginning i recommend just to follow the order of things. Also i didn't feed him if it was before 2 hrs of his last feeding so i woulnd't make him a snaker. and at night i did let him go as long as he would without eating, and no activity at nights either, just feeding when hungry and back to the sleep again.

Hope this helps, and if you have any doubt, please don't hessitate to ask!!!

good luck!!!

[Ali's mum]

thanks for the info/advice everyone, it's very helpful.  I do realize that my post sounds a bit tense or uptight about this issue, I am not really that intense about "it must be this way only", i'm really actually quite laid back - reading responses like yours are just what i need to get myself regrounded and remember that common sense needs to be employed throughout these early times approaching.  I get caught up in wanting to avoid accidental parenting from the very start, so i might get carried away with things! 

I think one of the things that sets me onto a path of panic about getting things right is this:  so many people are completely content with their accidental parenting, and they don't want anyone to take that away from them (until the trouble starts)... as in, "this is my child, i'm cherishing this time, and leave me to our happiness" - all i can see is the eventual nightmare coming down the pike when that kid is 2 years old and wanting the same treatment.  I'm not judging these parents at all, i just have trouble finding my answers when so many people agree with eachother about cosleeping and constant breastfeeding and comfort  - these are issues that i am seeing everywhere i look, and i know i want no part of it!  But everyone doing it (a heavy online presence!) advise "oh don't bag it until you're doing it, it's the most beautiful, special time in my life".  i think that's wonderful that it's working for you (and my sister, currently!) but i need support and information on the other side of the coin

That's why i posted to moderators in particular, i'm hoping to reach Tracy's wisdom through them, because if dear Tracy were here i'd be inundating her with emails!  lol... i respect the other mum's here, and thank you for sharing your advice and experience...

[jer-76]

My B/F LO was in the moses basket next to my bed for the first three months. Primarily bcause I wanted her there, secondly because it was easy to feed her.
 She was 4 days old for her first night home & screamed as soon as she went into the basket.She was flailing around in it with her eyes like a rabbit caught in car headlights. After an hour while I realised she was scared as it was too big for her. Thats when I started to swaddle. I also invested in the miracle (bonfit baby) blanket. It is cheap & easy to use. (buy 2, you can,t tumble dry them!) With that & the 100% consistent 4S, she would never have slept! I even had the fourS ritual on a prompt card -I was so tired I couldn,t remember it!
 When she was three months old I realised that we were disturbing each other at night. I spent 2 weeks puting her down for her day naps in her cot & also with some toys whilst I tidied her room. Then I started putting her in at night too -no problems at all.
 By four months she was freaking out at the sight of the cot -she hated being swaddled. Without weaning I put her straight into a grobag -no problems again.
Shes now 5 months & I can put her down with minimal intervention. It is an absolute godsend as I am back at work now. It seems like only 5 mins ago I was wailing because it felt like every other BW on the site had a baby who would sleep & mine never. I kept thinking of the Tracy quote in the book "It`s because she`s not ready too luv!" It didn`t make me feel any better, but it made me KEEP GOING & Boy am I glad! I have some very jealous friends. These are the sceptics who teased me for following the latest babyguru with kooky book.......whos laughing now  !
 
Once you,ve watched your baby you will notice that there is a very loose pattern to their feeds. Work with it to guide them onto easy. Once you throw in the 4S ritual you are already half way there.
I second Stacys top tip: to put baby down as soon as they are calm. It makes it easier later.

 As for other people  ....it doesn,t matter who they are, they will always have an opinion & they will always know better than you. Or so they think  ! It is a question of gritting your teeth, smiling politely & saying no thank you. All new parents get this attitude. Follow your instincts, you & your DP/H know what is best for your baby & it is up to you to decide. They mean well etc. etc.

 I hope you are well, This time in your life is unique, I hope you enjoy every second! Please, if you can find the time....will you give us an update?

[Ali's mum]

Thanks everyone!  We'll definitely keep you posted on how it's going for our new family.  Thank you for your insights and tips, i like the cue-card idea  miracle blanket is on the list.  Now I'm off for some MORE research, time is of the essence all of a sudden, lol!

[becky1969]

Congrats on your new baby! And I don't think you sound uptight (unless I was too! LOL!). I think you are doing the smart thing, trying to plan ahead as much as you can, the style you want to raise your child. It helps so much to know what your "philosophy" is before the baby gets here because once LO arrives you are so flummoxed by the reality of it all you can become overwhelmed and accidental parenting starts that way.

The PP suggestion of cue cards is excellent. I also tagged pages that had tables with good advice (like oz. babies eat at each age, hours of sleep, etc.) so that I could quickly reference them. I also realized that birth got me so turned around I needed to reread the basics because I got confused once faced with a real live baby who didn't eat , activity, sleep like I expected!

We also had our son in a bassinet in our room for the first 2 weeks. We moved him out because his noises were keeping us awake, and I was on a modified bed rest so was spending time watching TV at night and worried I was keeping him awake. But I think as long as your bedroom is for sleeping, you'll do fine with having an independent child!