I want to help SIL UPDATED She switch to bottle :(

[sophiem]

Hi I would like to help my SIL. She had her baby June 7th and bf is not going well. Actually nothing seems well. She had an emergency c-sec. Her uterus had rupture . Last week she had a stomach bug now a blader infection . Last week end a nurse told her that the baby's tongue (the little thing under it sorry I don't know the englishword) was to short. Monday they fix it. Now her nipple are bledding. I have the feeling she's about to quit bf. Last night she asking me what "what is nice with bf" She says it hurt a lot. I tried to tell to give herself some time. That it will get better. She knows it's the best thing for her son. She also told me she's not having "fun" with her son. Well with everything happennig I think it's an understatement...Any advice are welcome. I bf both my dd. With the 1st it was a charm.Dd#2 was different    but I know it would get better. TIA

[Mrs. Gravy]

I'm so sorry your SIL is having such a hard time!

The first few weeks are definitely the hardest.  Remind her that breast feeding is a learning process for both her and the baby - it's an entirely new experience for both of them, so it will take time to get everything running smoothly.

I wanted to give up too, but I struggled with it and now I'm so glad I did.  For me, all the kinks seemed to work themselves out around 10 weeks.

If she's in that much pain, there could be a latch problem.  I would contact a lactation consultant or LLL ASAP.

http://www.lalecheleague.org/WebIndex.html

What helped me was setting small goals.  I told myself "If I can just get through this week, then I can quit".  When I made it to the end of the week, I'd tell myself again "Just bf for 3 more days, then you can quit".  Eventually things get better and it can become a very enjoyable experience.

http://www.breastfeeding.com is a great site that also has a lot of info.

[Duckie]

Aw Sophie, I read your other post about your SIL and the problems she was having with the emerg section, etc.  I'll be thinking of her and sending healing vibes......

I've got nothing as far as bf-ing advice goes (REALLY not my area  ) but as long as she has someone as kindhearted as you on her side, she'll be OK no matter what!

[Petunia]

Last week end a nurse told her that the baby's tongue (the little thing under it sorry I don't know the englishword) was to short. Monday they fix it. Now her nipple are bledding.

The name of the little thingy is 'frenulum'.  When one has a short frenulum we refer to it as being 'tongue tied'.  If her baby has a short frenulum than that is what is causing her misery.  Tell her this!  Tell her that she just needs to hang on.  When the frenulum is fixed breastfeeding should get much better - really!!!

Here are some links to helpful information that you should share with her as soon as possible:

http://parenting.ivillage.com/newborn/nbreastfeed/0,,91wd,00.html

http://www.rwh.org.au/emplibrary/bess/TongueTie_Brochure_03a.pdf

http://www.lalecheleague.org/NB/NBMarApr96p41.html

http://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns/bfhelp-tonguetie.html

Maybe you can help her to get some perspective.  Changing diapers isn't fun right now, but she wouldn't stop doing that.  Taking care of the baby isn't fun right now, but she wouldn't just leave him be and walk out the door.  Maybe you could help remind her of all the benefits of breastfeeding.  This site lists 101: http://www.promom.org/101/

I'm sure she is frustrated right now and with all that is happened she probably feels out of control, intimidated, overwhelmed, and depressed.  What she needs is a support person - or several.  Someone to talk to, someone who is sympathetic, someone who will stand by her as she struggles.  If she's just left to herself she will give up much easier.

Last night she asking me what "what is nice with bf"
She also told me she's not having "fun" with her son.

One thought that came to mind when I read these two statements is that she is a candidate for post-partum depression.  With all that has happened, it's no wonder.  Watch her for signs and signals and jump in to help if you think she may be depressed.

[sophiem]

Thank you ladies.

Petunia : His frenulum (thank you for the info  ) was been fix on monday and SIL doesn't see a difference. How long before you think she"ll notice something? I told her if you have a blister on your heel b/c of new shoes even if you put an old pair on it still hurt. Healing take some time. I feel for her....

[sophiem]

I just talk to SIL and she decide to bottle feed. It seems when she express there's blood. So thank you. At least we tried 

[GabrielleD]

Hugs to her; it seems like she is having a really tough time. Maybe switching to a bottle will help alleviate some of her concerns and anxieties. It will get better.