Is 3 hr E.A.S.Y right for my 16lb 10 wk old DS?

[Metstark]

Hi, I am wondering if a 3 hr E.A.S.Y routine is ok for my DS because he is a lot bigger than most babies his age (16 lbs 4oz) and I am thinking maybe I should put him on a 4 hr routine? Or should I just feed him smaller meals for each meal time? I really need help because he won't nap for more than maybe an hour and a half all day and that is if we hold him or walk him or drive around. I really want to get him started on a routine so that I can better read his cues. I tried the 3 hr E.A.S.Y a few weeks ago and it seemed to work great, but I had to hold him to get to sleep and keep holding as he slept or he would wake up. I know I seem to have a lot of issues all at once! He does sleep great at night, going to bad around 9-9:30 and waking around 3-4:00 and then back to sleep till around 6:30 am. I guess to address the sleep issue, I will have to have him on a routine but I am not sure which one to put him on? Any help would be appreciated. We are going crazy with a crying, overtired baby! Thanks so much!

[estherofi20]

hi there,

well could you post how you day more or less? just to see how long is between feeds and all, that way we can help you better

[Metstark]

Hi, Our day is pretty much a mess right now. He starts to stir around 5:30 and I put his soother back in and he will fuss around half asleep until about 6:30 some days and other days he will stay in bed til about 7:30. I feed him when he gets up and then change him and have play time until around 8:30 or 9 when he starts to get really upset. I should probably stop here and say the main reason for his problems, I think is that we hold him all the time and we are never out of his sight and if we are, he screams, it's like he never wants to be alone. He gets very overtired because he now doesn't really want to sleep in his bed during the day or sleep being held either. We have to rock him the whole time or he will wake up. He sleeps for a max of 45 min in a stretch and that is on a good day and then he is up again and fussy until he feeds. I usually feed him anywhere from every 2.5-4 hrs depending on how much he is screaming. So I don't really have a routine. I do make sure to have him eat, play, and then try and put him to sleep all in a row but since I have to hold him to keep him asleep I don't get any me time. It is really crazy, with him crying and fussing more than he is happy. I do give him a bath every night at 6:30 though and he usually will sleep in my lap for 1.5 hrs from 7:30 to 9 then I feed him again and put him in his bed for the night. He wakes up once a night anywhere from 2:30 to 4:30am and I feed him and lay him back down. He stays asleep for a couple hours and then we start it all over again. So I basically don't go by a structured routine and I am sure this is driving him crazy. He yawns all day. I think if I put him on either a 3 or 4 hr E.A.S.Y than I should be better able to fix his nap issues. I am really overwhelmed by all this because my and my DH's families live too far away to help and we are the only ones looking after him. I never get a break and would really like to figure this out! I have asked other people and they say that their babies just slept whenever they put them down for their naps and were very happy babies, so I feel like I have done something to make him so irritable. He also was diagnosed with reflux at 1 mth old, but that seems to be under control with meds. I really need some help in getting on a routine, but I am wondering if since he is so big that he could go for 4 hrs or if since he is still under 4 mths maybe I should just feed him smaller amounts and go on a 3 hr routine? Any help would be appreciated. Sorry this is sooo long but it is hard to explain everything. Thanks again.

[estherofi20]

Well, i do believe that a routine will help all of you a lot. So as if the 3hr or the 4hr routine, well for example i changed my DS to a 4hr routine at 12 WO, 'cause he wasn't hungry anymore at the 3hr mark, and his naps started to be a dissaster, and the instant we changed him to 4hr, everything got into place. So to start on a routine, you will first need to set a wake up time, and move from there. Do you have any of Tracy's books?

[HeatherC]

Hi.  Sorry your experiencing such a rough time, but you're certainly not the only one who's been through a situation like that (I'm blushing and slowly raising my hand  ).  First, have you seen this thread:
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=62100.0
It is a great help to help you visualize a structured routine.  I would say to start with a 3 hr routine and see how he handles it.  If it doesn't seem to work, meaning he doesn't want to feed at 3 hrs or he begins have erratic night wakings, then try 3.5 hrs.  I'm afraid if you shoot for 4 hrs that the length of time between feeds that is generally filled with A time and a long nap might be too much for him.  However, it has worked many times before for lo's under 4 months old.
Secondly, have you had a look at our Sleep Forums?  Do you have Tracy's "Solves All Your Problems" book?  If not, try to get that as it has the best details to help you overcome the situations you described.  Of course, the sleep forums will also have some great info.  You will need to start training him to fall asleep independently, and this will mean trying to have him take his naps in his own sleep area, rather than on you.  It will take a lot of hard work, but it is completely possible to achieve!  We want you to succeed, so please let us know how we can further assist you.  If you need, we can give you the details for teaching independent sleep.

[Metstark]

Hi, Thanks so much for the replies! I do have Tracy's book 'Secrets of the Baby Whisperer" but I am finding it hard to use because I feel like I am totally out of control. Since he won't sleep independantly except at night ( he does sleep in a bassinette in our room beside me, I don't know if that makes a difference), I devote most of my time to just trying to settle him so I am finding it hard to get started on the routine. I also find that if we have to go somewhere where there is too much stimulation that he gets into a frenzy and is very hard to settle down even when we get home. How do we keep the E.A.S.Y method up when going out for a few hours or for the whole day? Our families live hours away, so when we go there it is an all day trip and well-meaning family members say "If he were tired he would fall asleep anywhere" or "he just wants to play with a different toy or have a change of scene" or "he is just colicky". A lot of people tell me to just let him CIO, which we are against. Is it possible to keep up the routine even away from home? Should I address the sleeping issue ASAP, along with the routine? Or should I get the routine established and then try to get him napping independantly? I am really glad I found this forum, everyone seems so helpful! I am also glad to see lots of people with the same problems! At least I am not alone! I have been trying to read some of the posts on the routines and sleeping issues but I find it hard to find the time to just take a bit and do it without letting him scream! He is asleep in his swing right now (I know, that's so bad ) and I think that is due to screaming for 45 minutes straight while I did shh pat and walked around and he fell asleep exhausted, after no naps at all today! Thanks for helping me get through this.

[HeatherC]

Well, I think the parts of the routine you'd be able to establish right away would be the regular feeding intervals followed by A time.  The rest of the routine has to do with putting him down for his naps.  A major part of Tracy's teachings have to do with teaching a lo to fall asleep independently, and this is acheived by using her shh/pat or pu/pd methods.  I realize that when you first start with the shh/pat method that it can be so extremely overwhelming and un-nerving b/c of the crying.  However, he is crying simply b/c it is different to him and he wants it to be done the old way (you hold and jiggle him).  Yet I have read SO SO SO many success stories with each method, and the key part to each one is consistency.  It won't work the first day, or maybe even the first 3 days, but it will work.  I used pu/pd with my dd around 5-6 months, and it did work in about 3 days.  Of course, there were regressions, but we did get through them.

What I'm trying to say in the long way is that the E, A, and S are all interrelated.  It is recommended that even if it takes the entire nap period (with a break or two of course) to get him to go to sleep on his own and in his own bed, then that's what should be done.  Yet there are other ways than just shh/patting him to get to this point.  I urge you to review the shh/pat methods as you can find ways to suit them to your lo.

Still, establishing the routine in the best way you can at the moment is hopefully going to lead to better sleep habits.  Heck, it may turn out better than expected just by having regular feeds.  Oh, also think about creating a winddown routine for sleep times.  This would include the 4 S's (should be listed in previous link).  You'll just need to decide when you're ready for the change with his naps and when you commit the time to work on it.  And, of course, we're here to help you.

Here's a link with some posts about getting out and about:
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=56396.0

[estherofi20]

I just wanted to say that the pat-shush method has made my DS an indepentant sleeper, it took a lot of hard work, since he too took from 45min to an hr to settle for every nap (not bedtime) , he was at his worst between 4WO till 8WO, then he decreased the amount of time he needed the pat-shushing, until out of the blue at 12WO he stopped needing completely (he would needind every now and then, but only if he was extremely tired, and bu following EASY, i can count the number of times this happened after 12WO), so what i'm saying, is that it is REALLY worth it to follow and be consistent, i know it can be exhausting and overwhelming at firts, but i tell you from my experience, it does pay off, i can now just place him in his crib, close the curtains, give him his lovey and his paci, and walk out of the room.

{{{HUGGS}}}

HTH

[Metstark]

Thanks so much again for the encouragement and help. We are very grateful. I guess we will try the 3 hr routine, since he can't stay up after eating too long without yawning or getting really irritable. If that doesn't seem to be working after a week or so I will try with a 3.5 hr. I really hope all this works because my back is killing me from walking him around and holding him all the time! All the success stories make me very optimistic! Hopefully before long I can look back on this and be able to see that all the hard work is worth it! I just have one more question, if he eats around 4:30 every morning then goes back to sleep for a couple hours, do I feed him again at 6:30 (which is the time I will be waking him up everyday) or should I wait the full 3 hrs between feeds. I think he would be too tired again by 7:30 am. Do night feeds count in the 3 hr routine or do I just do the 3 hours during the day starting at 6:30 am and ending at 6:30 at night with a dream feed at 9:30-10? Thanks a million.

[estherofi20]

Hey we are all here to help each other ANY way we can!!!!

As for the 4:30ish am feed, give it normaly, and then at 6:30am do the start of the day and give him another feed. If you find that he is not having a very good feed at 6:30, i would suggest to give at 4:30 just enough to hold him till 6:30am, well that's what i did with DS, and he did take a better "breakfast" bottle.

HTH

[Metstark]

Okay, That sounds great, I will try it tomorrow morning! Thanks again!