hello and welcome!!
let's see if i can answer your questions...
1)From what I read in the book, the sssh/pat process is supposed to take place and stop while the baby is still awake? Well, my son has had two ssh/pat sessions today and fell asleep during both of them (I set him in his co-sleeper and he settled down but I kept sshing and patting until he was asleep for 15 minutes) is that ok? Am I supposed to stop sshing and patting while he's still awake? Because he'd freak out if I did and start crying again.
no, at first it will stop only after he is in a deep sleep; that is why you are doing it for about 20 minutes - to get him to that deep part of the sleep cycle.
2) My understanding from the book is that this sssh/pat thing won't be going on forever (just until they get used to sleeping in their own bed)> so why on earth are people who have posted here still doing it with their children for months and months? Isn't this supposed to be a method that teaches them to sleep on their own? Will I be doing this sssh/pat process for months? Because if so, that seems like a prop to me just like my carrying and singing to him. Won't I get to a point that I can lay him down and he'll fall asleep himself?
no, if you do it correctly it won't go on forever. the type of baby he is will determine how long this happens. ex. mine was a touchy/grumpy; didn't take long to get him to learn HOW to go to sleep, but took me 6 weeks to extend his naps. angels/textbooks don't take nearly as long - my first took maybe 2 weeks for everything!
to avoid it becoming a prop, once you have started to sense that he has learned how to go to sleep, you won't need to do shh/pat for the full 20 minutes. then you can start stepping back on the time gradually over a few days. eventually, you would then reach the point where you do just lie him down & he goes to sleep. (and that is a wonderful day!
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3) Nighttime- Please warn me what to expect tonight? Like how will he know it is night time and not a nap and not sleep only 1.5 hours or so? His whole life he has slept on his dad for a couple of hours before going into his co-sleeper and now I'm going to stick him in his co-sleeper to start off with for the first time tonight. Should I expect a million sssh/pat sessions tonight? If so, that's cool, I'd just like warning.
a different part of the brain is activated for night sleep, so it's a whole different ball game; they kind of 'instinctively' know that it's nighttime (as long as they know day from night!). you may very well expect a million shh/pats tonight. lots of tears from the baby, for sure, because he won't understand why you are doing things differently. (and remind yourself that it is not because he is mad at you).
4) SIDS- I'm worried about swaddling and SIDS- my hospital told us not to swaddle because of heat etc. I've followed that, but today I have swaddled him both times for his ssh/pat sessions. Is he okay? THis wasn't addressed in the book at all
overheating is one of the possible factors that could indeed contribute to SIDS - hence the warning. if you live in an area that's very warm (and have no air conditioning) you can still swaddle, but then your baby might only be in a diaper or a thin shirt. you might also want a fan to blow in his room (not directly at him) to help keep the temperature down.
the nice thing about swaddling is that it helps them feel nice & snug & cozy (kinda like snuggling with daddy).
good luck & HTH
