day naps - instead of getting better it's worsening :-(

[Tuty]

My DD is almost 5 months old. She was having problems with her day naps since she was two months old. Until a couple of weeks it was difficult to make her nap, but at least once she fell asleep she would nap for at least an hour and a half. Since the past couple of weeks, she wouldn't nap for more than 45 mins.

As she gets tired, she'll try to do anything to avoid going to sleep. As soon as I check her diaper as part of the winddown routine, she would either fuss or try to manipulate me into playing with her (by using her most charming smiles) depending on her tiredness level.. from my part I ignore these smiles and after the diaper check I hold her for a couple of minutes with her head by my neck and tapping on her back for a couple of minutes.

She usually wouldn't cry as soon as I lay her in bed on her back, but would try to get more of my attention. She would start protesting after a few minutes, so instead of going back in, I immediately turn her on her belly and as she fusses (pretty much immediately) tap on her back (for about 10-15 minutes) until either she is relaxed and ready to fall asleep or she's already sleeping. BTW, she used to suck on her fingers after a few minutes of tapping on her back, but she no longer does it anymore. It seems like she's expecting me to tap on her back.

Now that she's waking up after only 45 minutes I try to tap on her back to get her to sleep longer, but it's too late once she's up. I should probably time it and start tapping as soon as she starts waking.

She's definitely about to teeth, could this be part of her napping issues?

Her routine is as follows:
bedtime: 6:45PM
WakeUp: 6:45AM
Usually wakes up once for a feeding at different times.
Eating every 4 hours
First nap around 9:00AM
The rest of the day depends on how much sleep she's getting in the first nap, but we're targeting at a 4 hours EASY.

Yesterday she napped for a total of 2 hours and couldn't fall asleep until 7:30PM and woke up at 6:45AM. I'm realy worried about her not getting enough sleep.

Will it ever get better? I've been using pat/shush for over two months now.

Any suggestions are highly appreciated,
Thanks,
Tuty

[Zoey]

Hiya Tuty!

I copied this, perhaps it'll help a tad:

When you first start pat/shh with a young infant, yes you give 100% assistance and help them fall asleep.  As they get on with it, you help less and less.  For instance:

When I first started using pat/shh with Owen (we removed paci) I stood there and used pat/shh to help him get settled and sleep.  As he learned how to fall asleep without the paci, I didn't use pat/shh for as long.  Day 1 was probably 60mins, Day 5 maybe 10mins, Day 8 I was simply using my hand on his back, Day 10 I was just standing by the crib.  See what I mean?

When used correctly, pat/shh isn't a prop because it is a tool.  You don't just use it to put baby to sleep and keep doing that, or at least that isn't the idea of pat/shh.  You use it when you need to with the ultimate goal being independant sleep.  You don't help more then you have to help, and you use less and less patting and shhing as the time goes on.

Taken from this post: https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=67387.msg510790#msg510790
HTH!
Zoey

[Tuty]

I tried to pat less and often she doesn't fall asleep from the patting, but if I stop when she's calm she'll fuss again (as i mentioned she no longer tries to relax herself with her fingers). The main problem is she isn't crying as soon as she's put in bed but only after a few minutes, so then it becomes a habit of reentering the room.

How do I wean from patting?

Zoey, I didn't get the link, can you please repost?

Thanks,
Tuty

[Zoey]

Tuty!

Yeah I definately think this has become a prop, and now she expects you to do it each time she wakes up.  Have you considered doing any PUPD now that she is 5 months?  It may perhaps be the way to break this if the gradual lessening of tapping (copied and posted in my previous post) isn't helping any.

What happens when you do your wind down, put her in the crib with your phrase and Leave the room?  Do you wait for a full on MOMMA I NEED YOU cry?  I wouldn't respond to anything other then that really.  Let her fuss, mantra alone - that's fine. 

Have you ever done PUPD?  Perhaps pop over to that board and read the FAQ and browse through some of the posts.  I think it may be the only way to get rid of this now, like Stacy said - it seems to be a prop.

Feel free to post in PUPD for questions, help, advice about it.  I am sorry I can't be more helpful.

Zoe