I also want to tell you (and I am sure that other BW's will tell you) that I broke the rules with my first ds by always rocking or walking him to sleep. And if he woke up early from a nap, I rocked him back to sleep. He started sleeping through the night at 4 months and still to this day takes a 2 to 3 hour nap in the afternoon. I often have to wake him b/c he sleeps too much. So, it does get better. I think the concept of a good routine is the best way to get them to sleep well.
BUT, I was (and sometimes am) in the same boat with ds # 2. And while I swore I wouldn't get so worked up about it, I do, b/c it sucks. I don't have the time to dedicate to the naps like I did with ds#1 so I got some help from a babysitter and my mom and I sat there through every nap and patted and sh'd him and it took all my patience to do it. but he learned to sleep independently.
I guess what I am saying is that no matter what you do, it will get better. They eventually learn to sleep on their own. If you are like me, and you want to manage it sooner, you have to pick a technique and stick with it and it eventually will work. I saw no improvement with pat/sh for at least 3 days, but I stuck with it, and eventually he went past the 45 minutes. It will take tons of work and consistency, but you can help him through it, no matter which way you choose to do it.
Good luck and hang in there!
