8 month old only crying at the gym daycare during activity time

[Nic]

I have taken my 8 month old to the daycare at the gym since she was 5 weeks old for her activity time.  She has been great from day one.  In the last 2 weeks she has cried almost the entire time I'm working out.  (which is only now 15-30 min)  When I come back into the room she is perfect.  When I move to stand up or change positions (right beside her) she cries.  She is not like this at any other place.  When I leave the room at home she doesn't cry.  When she is with my mom and I leave she doesn't cry.  I have asked the daycare people if something has happened to her maybe a little person ran into her or something like that.  They said no.  I don't know what to do.  I have tried to sneak out of the room without her seeing me.  She was good for a few minutes.  I have tried holding her for a few minutes so she is used to the room.  She was good for a few minutes.  Then cried until I came back into the room.  Any ideas on how to make this easier one me and her?

[LŠuren]

hi Nic

Sounds like separation anxiety, to be honest the worst thing you can do is sneak out on your LO. You need to explain where you're going and that you WILL be back.

Your LO is realises that you are a separate entity and not an extention of her.

Here is a link that is explains it way better  https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=62612.0

[Nic]

Thanks for the link.  So why does it only happen at the gym?

 I will tell her that I'm leaving with a chipper voice.  Do I keep going back in to soothe her until she is not crying for me?

[Erin M]

I think a lot of it depends on what you're comfortable with.  It could be that it only happens at the gym because she's not as used to it as other places.  When my DD went through separation anxiety at her daycare I'd try to get there a little bit earlier to spend as much time with her as possible for reassurance before I had to leave.  I did have to go to work though and would eventually have to hand her off to one of her caretakers where she would scream for a few minutes and then continue playing.  I guess part of it has to do with whether or not she calms down once you're gone for a few minutes.  If she does, then it's really your decision as to what you want to do.  If she doesn't calm down, I might stay with her for a longer period of time - even if you don't get much of a workout in for a few days until she gets through this. 

[TDR'smom]

I work at a Gym Day Care and have many stories of mother's going through the same thing.  One mother would bring her daughter in (1 year old, I think) and cheerfully and smiling say "bye bye, mommy is going to work out and would be back".  Then she would leave for 5 minutes (daughter would cry hard the entire 5 minutes) and then come back smiling and cheerfully to pick her up and take her home.

Next day she did it for 10 minutes, day after 20 minutes -etc etc.

By the 4th or 5th day, the little girl was fine. 

I agree with Calum's mom that you should NOT sneak out.  That will break her trust and when she looks around and you are gone....IT CAN GET UGLY!!

It also helps if the staff engages your dd and distracts her after you leave.  Many times children/babies come in crying and within 5 minutes they have found something or someone to play with and actually look disappointed when the parent's come back. 

Good Luck.  Feel free to PM me with any other questions.

[Nic]

Thanks for the suggestions.  Yesterday, I stayed with her and played peek a poo through the door.  After about 5-10 mins of that she was great and was distrated.  I waved bye to her.  I ran for 10 min and she started crying in the last 5 min.  I came and went and waved goodbye to her.  I was there for 1 hour just doing that.  She doen't settle very good until I come back into the room.  She might cry then be good for 1 min them back to crying.  I will be more cheery when I come back into the room. 

[linfran]

Could it be sensory overload - too much going on for her to look at and take on board or too noisy?

My lo (6mo) has just started daycare and he's shattered - so much going on its a lot to take in!  The staff there have a practice of walking mummy to the door and "wave bye bye" (or for the toddlers, "push mammy out the door!") - they say in their experience the child is more accepting of your departure if they see you go and learn that you do come back, especially if you act all happy when you leave and stress what fun they'll have when you're away.

Good luck, hope things work out.

[Nic]

I don't think it is sensory overload because the first day it happened she was the only child.  The next time she was the only one also.  I went at a different time so there was no kids there.  But now that I'm back to my usually time she cries when she it there.  Even when there is alot of kids there and when there is not alot of kids.  It is just the same.  Hopefully tomorrow will be better and next week will be even better.

[TDR'smom]

Keep going and be consistent!!! That is the key.

Do not give up!!!

[Nic]

Well today she lasted 30 min she didn't even cry.  Hopefully she is on her way.  Thanks for the help.

[linfran]

Yay!  Fingers crossed!