Hello everyone,
My LO is now 3 months old and he has lots of troubles going to sleep.
I have no problem admitting that this is a case of accidental parenting, I have been rocking him and bouncing him to sleep since he was born, as from day 1 in hospital, he wouldn't sleep in his little bassinet, and the midwife put him in bed with me for that first night.
About 3 or 4 weeks ago, I moved him to his own room, in his cot (he was sleeping in a little crib by our bed until then) I started using the Shhh-pat method, but everytime I'd take him to bed, he would cry and cry until he'd fall asleep. I also installed a routine, I don't swaddle as I didn't do it at the beginning, and nobody really told me to ( as nobody told me how to help my baby go to sleep on his own... I thought I was doing the right thing, helping him to feel safe, in my arms... anyway !)
He only had a sleeping problem during the day, as at night, he would fall asleep and then sleep for 6-7 hours , and at 8 weeks, he'd wake up just once, at around 5am, for a feed.
Since I started shh-patting, and sleep training in general, things got worse !! I guess I'm doing something wrong... to be honest with you, I gave up shh-patting after 3 weeks, and now I'm rocking him again... I am too tired to cope with his constant crying everytime I take him to bed (he is not just fussing, he is screaming if I put him down in his cot... and it's not cot phobia, it's just because of his sleeping associations... sleeping should be in mummy's arms)
But now, the night time has become a big problem. Let me explain :
He was on a 3hr EASY, and is a very hungry baby. The health visitor ( in the UK) advised me to move him to a new formula for hungrier babies, which I did, and it seems to agree with him. He now feeds every 4 hours ( roughly : 8:00 / 12:00 / 16:00 / 20:00 ), 7 oz each time , but now, he won't go anylonger than 4 hours at night. So basically, he's asleep by 21:00, and he will wake at 1:00 for a feed, and then at 5:00 for another feed... I tried giving him water, but he wouldn't settle until he was given formula, and would drink the whole bottle : it was genuine hunger !
Now, things have become even worse !! After his first night feed at 1:00, he now wakes every hour, and needs me to rock him back to sleep ! I don't know what to do, I feel awfully guilty, I feel I'm enabling him and not helping the situation at all.. I feel like a bad parent who hasn't taught her child to fall asleep on his own... not to mention that I'm exhausted, like most of you here...
A few nights ago, I thought I might try introducing baby rice in his last bottle. As he's such a hungry baby, I thought this might get rid of the hunger at night, and help me cope with the rest of the situation. Well, he was less hungry, by the 3rd night, he didn't feed at all, I gave him water instead... but he still woke every hour, and it was harder to put him back to sleep (whereas before, he'd barely wake up for his feed).
I just concluded that the cereals are not a solution, if he's still going to wake at night, then I should avoid giving them to him. That's what I did last night, and so, he fed twice during the night, but woke many many times... it's a pattern, it's always the same pattern, the exact same times, like a little clock !
Oh, and during the day, he has lots of short naps, at regular times, and very occasionally he will sleep for 2 hours in the afternoon... I always make sure he gets at least 4 hours of sleep during the day, and I'm always very careful to avoid him being over tired or over stimulated.
During the day, he either sleeps in his cot ( takes longer for him to settle, he will jolt a lot, I'm always next to him, ready to pat, but i know this is not helpful in the long run) or he will fall asleep very easily in the car (like lots of babies) or in his pram when I have to go out, and can't do otherwise. Sometimes, I CHOSE to go out, because I know it will be easier for him to settle and I won't have to cope with the crying....
I don't know if this is a sleeping or an eating problem anymore... I know I made and still make mistakes but I cannot bear the thought of leaving my baby to CIO... I'd rather rock him until he's 18 loool !! only kidding, this has to stop, my back is killing me, and I really need some sleep.
What can I do? what should I do? should I try the W2S? any other alternative to shh-pat?? is he a bit too young for the pupd?? PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME !!
Thank you so much for your support, and help.
Stephanie
