Have I made my child hate the going to sleep process?

[tmhill]

My almost 12 week old has had trouble with napping since his refulx started disrupting his naps at about 5 weeks old.  I didn't know about the EASY routine before that, but instituted it soon after.  Only very generally, because I had not read the book.  I was just going off of what someone had told me.  ANYWAy.  T (my son) started to get into the routine once we got him some medicine, and he did real well for a while.  He even started putting himself to sleep in his crib.  But his naps were always inconsistant (30 mins, here 45 mins there, and sometimes a two hour nap - those are awesome).  So here we are again though.  He has had diarrhea for almost four weeks now.  The Dr thinks it's related to food alergies and we are now starting on formula.  He is easily upset and goes through screaming fits because of it.

Saying all that.  Last week I tried instituting the four S's bedtime routine.  I think we had some sort of a routine - but I might have thought it wasn't working because he wasn't sleeping very long and/or we were totally off schedule (I think due to this whole food alergy thing).  Well it seems like things have gotten worse.  I have been trying so hard to read and see his sleepy clues (starring off at nothing, sucking/licking his hands and fussiness).  Once I see them I immediately start the four S's.  THe problem now is that as soon as I get to the saddling he stars crying and I can't get him calmed down.  The Sitting "S" can't be done sitting - he screams through that and never mind putting him down he screams through that.  At this point we are only sparatically doing the Shhh-Pat because he screams so hard sometimes we don't know how to calm him down - we try many various things.  I'm afriad that I have done something to make him think that nap time is actually screaming/upset time and that is takes a good scream to get to bed.  I don't know how to reverse this.  My family keeps telling me that he's probably doing this because he isn't feeling well from his Diarrhea, but I'm not convinced.  It either that I conditioned him to do this as part of the routine OR I am putting him to bed too late.  But like others - it seems because of his short naps - he's tired soon again just after eating (within 5 -10 mintes after eating).  This keeps us from doing ANYTHING but sleep and eat and SOMETIMES getting some play time in. 

So we just had an after noon of screaming.  He had woke up at 11:15 from his 2nd 45 minute nap of the day and I couldn't get him back to sleep until 3:00 - it's now 5:00 and his 5:15 (or so) feeding should start soon - I guess i should wake him for it.  I'm afraid he won't have enough sleep and he'll be difficult to get back to sleep.

Is the wake to sleep method ok to use on babies under four months of age?
What can I do to make him not hate the four S routine?
It seems like it's worse at each sleep time.  I try so hard to read his sleepy cues.

I'm glad I'm not alone here with the short naps and short wake times. 
Thanks for the support and suggestions if you have any!
KTH

[Zoey]

KTH -  Hello, my son has reflux too.  I just wanted to add to everything Stacy has said.

Do you think perhaps he needs a dose increase with his medication?  I am not sure what your pedi has recomended but we use Dr Browns bottle (help TONS with gas) and Alimentum formula.  We have an appt with a specialist in Sept to also rule out an allergy to milk protein and to see about the reflux.  Which med do they have T on if you don't mind.

Is the mattress elevated in his crib and are you sitting him up for a bit after a feed?  Sometimes these things help.  Here is a link I like about sleep and reflux:  https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=65742.0 - perhaps something in there will be helpful.

Honestly I don't think YOU did anything to make him hate sleep.  I feel sometimes when babies have gas, or reflux or something like this - they are uncomfortable laying down or in certain positions and they associate that discomfort with sleep time.  Perhaps its something like this in addition to being overtired?  I know for sure it isn't anything you did hun.

Is his bum sore from the diarrhea?  Owen often has diarrhea and I make - well I call it Butt salad dressing lol.  Its a few diaper creams etc I mix together and it will heal any bum lol.  Lemme know if you want me to let you in on the secret!  LOL.  I hope things get better soon for T and you, it sure isn't easy.

Big hugs
Zoey

[tmhill]

Thank you both for you suggestions.  My son is on Zantac and Alumentum (SP?).  I just switched him from breast feeding to the Alumentum on Sunday.  His mood seems better as a result. 

He is still difficult to sleep.  I don't understand why it's so hard.

Tuesday we had a GREAT day of sleeping - he took 2 - two hour naps and 2 45/50 min naps and went to bed fairly easily.

Yesterday was a total wash.  I don't know how we got so off track - he didn't/wouldn't stay asleep for his first nap (after shh-pat for a half an hour he woke up within 15 - 20 minutes) and all naps were short and miserable from there on out and even bedtime was a bust.  I tend to forgo the shhh-pat when he's in his bed and crying and I pick him up and he cries and doesn't stop no matter how gentle I am on his back and how hard I shhh.  I resort to other methods ANYTHING that might get him to stop crying.

I have a few questions. 

I have a hard time keeping him swaddled.  Once he's in his bed he wiggles so much he gets out of it/  Should I re swaddle him in the middle of shh-pat to get him back in?

When I put him in his crib he want to look around like crazy.  I have darkened the room as much as I could with black towels hanging over the windows and I cover his eyes with my hand.  He tosses his head back and forth to avoid my hand covering his eyes.  Do I continue to chase his eyes with my hand or just let it go?

Also, if I start the whole bedtime routine too early can I stop it and go back to it later?  Do I miss read his ques, once I get him into bed he seems as alert as ever.  eyes wide looking around.  The nap that I just put him down for took 30 minutes to put him down.  I did what was suggested after a very short nap this morning I fed him and started out bedtime ritual in order to prevent overtiredness.

The whole sitting in my arms for 5 minutes before I put him down still isn't happening.  He squirms and yells.  So I put him down almost immediately and he stops yelling.  Is this ok?

Last but not least.  If he's not crying in his bed but just looking around do I need to the the shh-pat?  Or can I just leave him.  He used to be able to put himself to sleep like that - but that somehow has seemed to not happen in a few weeks.  Would it be bad to leave him there like that until he starts to cry (which it seems he does inevitably) and then go back and do the shh/pat?

Sorry so many questions.  I'm just tyring to do this right.

Thanks,
KTH

[tmhill]

After th 30 minute put down yesterday he slept for 20 min.  Today's 30 min put down he took a two hour nap.

I have let him be, just now.  He is in there.  Progressing to sleep soon, I hope.  We shall see. 

Another question.  After his 2 hour nap he ate and then we had to go to the dr.  He yawned the whole way there in the back seat but didn't fall asleep.  Fell asleep at the dr in the sling for 20 min and then on the way back for 20 min in the car.  Those probably don't constitute as real naps do they?  I heard that they have to be at least 45 min long to be any help at all.  Well I'm sure those two naps didn't help, because when he got up from the second one, he ate and was grouchy/tired immediately.  I skipped some of the put down routine (fearing it would take to long) and just did the essentials (diaper change and four s's) and put him down.  I did have to intervene though.  I'm praying that soon the interventions will be shorter.  That's the goal right?

Thanks for all your help.  Your and God send!
KTH