30 min naps - I've tried everything.....please help

[topsy]

Ok, I've run out of ideas and nothing seems to help. My boy has taken 30 min naps from about 3/4 weeks, he's now 7.5 weeks old and we're both suffering from them. He's tired and cross, falling asleep on feeds , crying....I'm just tired and mostly worried for him, its like he tries so hard to get back to sleep but just cant.

I've tried

W2S...no success at all;
dummy...v occasionally keeps him content(until it falls out) but not asleep
shush/pat.....makes him crazy, seems to stimulate him more and upset him (funny cos its so effective other times)
lifting him and holding him till he sleeps .....dozes until I put him down
not lifting him.....goes crazy
white noise....like dummy it will occassionally keep him quiet in crib but not asleep
waiting till he cries before I go to him or going when he stirs but before he cries seem to make no difference

.....I don't know what else to try and I cant help but think not having a consistent response to help him get back to sleep isnt good for him either


... Anyway I'd really love if anyone has any ideas. I know loads of people have this problem but everyone else seems to have 45 min nappers and I've a consistent 30 min one!

I've sat with him through many naps and 30 mins in he gets the biggest jolts through his little body and then he begins to toss and turn and the jolts keep coming until he wakes fully crying or I pick him up.

It seems to be affecting him more and more, he is obviously still tired when he wakes and its harder and harder to stick to his 3 hour EASY schedule.....if he's awake 1 hour before his feed, he's ready to sleep when he gets the feed....

What I really don't understand is why when I put him down at 7:30 for the night, he sleeps fine....gets a dream feed at 11 and then wakes mid night for a feed. Why can he stay asleep at that time and not when I put him down at say 5:30?!!!

I'd really really appreciate any advice... I just don't know what to do and how to help him get back to sleep and that's upsetting me more than anything. Thanks.

[jwig]

Hello - as we speak I am listening to my daughter fuss in her crib after awaking from her 35 minute nap.  I am ready to let her CIO even though this breaks my heart.  The thing is, this only happens for her afternoon nap (she is 5 months old) - her morning nap she sleeps for 1 1/2 to 2 hours and I am trying so hard to go to 2 naps but this is impossible if she only sleeps from 1:30 until 2 PM.  If I go and get her now she will sleep at 4:30 for another 1/2 hour and then be happy until about 6 PM (right when daddy gets home) and then miserable from 6 until her bath time at 7:15 PM.

Okay, she is upstairs freaking ................ I have to go and pat her or something (I have always done pat/shush).

Any experts out there who want to give us some advice???

Thanks in advance.

[topsy]

Hi Stacy,

our routine goes like this:

7:00 - wake up and feed

8:00 - activity

8:30 - sleep.......(usually asleep by 8:45  and awake again at 9:15.....next 45 mins is trying to get back to sleep and sometimes I give up and take him up altogether)

10:00 - feed

10:45 - activity

11:30 - sleep

1:00  - feed

1:45 - activity

2:30 - sleep

4:00 - feed

4:45 - activity

5:30 - sleep

7:00 - feed

7:45 - bed

11:00 - dream feed

This is the ideal we aspire to....but it all goes a bit crazy when it comes to sleep because he only sleeps for 30 mins there's often another whole hour before his next feed etc, if he's awake for all of that he is wrecked during his feed and falls asleep, sometimes he can only take a very short activity time after that and then takes his nap early and then its even longer until his next feed when he wakes up.....and so it gets steadily worse as the day goes on. I adore the first feed and activity with him in the mornings becuase he has slept well and is in great form but as the day goes on it gets harder and harder for him.

One thing I thought tonight as I put him to sleep, he spends up to 20/30 mins quietly fussing to get to sleep at this stage but he wont wake again before his dream feed. During the day time naps, he sleeps almost the moment I put him down, no fussing at all.

He doesn't have activity after his last feed so I wonder should I put him down sooner after his feed during the day?? (Of course that thought terrifies me because it could mean he'll be awake for even longer if he only naps for 30 mins)

Thanks so much if you can help, I know I have to get this sorted for his sake so I'll do whatever it takes.

[topsy]

Ok, thanks for that.

Can I clarify....if he's awake at 7, he should be asleep again by about 8:15 ?

[stephie]

Hi there, I have an 11 wk DD who seems to suffer from the same thing that your little one does with the 30 minute naps... she sleeps well during the nights with only 1 or 2 wakes...but during the day, it is a nightmare....

Stacy, would you have the same suggestions for an 11 wk old?

This is our "schedule":

8:30 am awake and feed

9:00 activity

10:00 naptime (only goes down for 30 mins but I keep trying to shush pat - after the initial 30 minutes, I can only manage to get her down for 2-3 minutes at a time... end up giving up and letting her have activity again until the next feed (3 hour EASY).

11:30 feed

12:00 activity

1:00 naptime (same ordeal as above - DD now getting grumpier as she hasn't napped well in the morning..)

2:30 feed

3:00 activity

4:00 nap time (things getting even worse here as she gets more and more tired from the lack of sleep....waking up at 30 minutes still..)

5:30 feed

6:00 activity

7:00 another infamous 30 minute nap...

7:45 start winddown with bath and then cuddle time and then feed

She has been alternating with waking only once at 3:30 am for a feed and then good until 8:30 am.. and then she'll go a few nights waking at 2:30 and 5:30 for feeds..still sleeping until 8:30 am.....

I've been resorting to going out for walks in the afternoon (3pm) to get her to nap longer and it's always worked before but in the last few days, it hasn't worked as well....she's been really grouchy over the last week and it's getting really frustrating.... she's so pleasant and smiley in the morning and then it just goes downhill from there....

Any advice on this would be great....wondering if the W2S would work here... or maybe longer activity times? I'm really not sure here!!!

THANKS!!!

[stephie]

Thanks for the quick response Stacy...  question about the extended awake time though..... if I extend her awake time to an hour and half.. then there's only about an hour left before the next feed.. should she just nap for the hour?

Thanks again! I really appreciate it and am looking forward to trying this today....

Also... just checking.... even though she is getting tired and grumpy by an hour and a bit... I should still keep her up?

[stephie]

OK, she's asleep now.... I'm crossing my fingers that she'll get over the 30 minutes....I saw 3 yawns by that point and so I put her down... she went down fairly easily as per usual..... hopefully moving the time works....if she does wake after the 30 mins, any suggestions there?? I just keep trying to shush/pat which works the first time I put her down for the nap... but when I try extending using that, it never works...

last night she had strange wake times as well - I'm wondering if the lack of naps is affecting her or if this is a growth spurt..she went down at 8:30 last night, got up at 12:00 (fed), 4:30 (fed), 7 (this time I just let her fuss and she went back to sleep on her own) and then she woke up closer to 8:30-9:00.

[Lucysmom]

What I really don't understand is why when I put him down at 7:30 for the night, he sleeps fine....gets a dream feed at 11 and then wakes mid night for a feed. Why can he stay asleep at that time and not when I put him down at say 5:30?!!!

Hi - I just wanted to address this question as I also pondered this when my dd was this age.  Basically day sleep and night sleep are two different kinds of sleep biologically speaking.  From 0-3 months babies' little bodies and brains are working on "organizing" their night sleep, then from 3-6 months they work on their day sleep.  So your little guy seems to be well on his way to getting this whole night sleep thing sorted, it is his day sleep that is all over the place.  Once I understood what was going on with my dd biologically speaking, it made her short naps a smidge easier to deal with.  Short naps are very, very common especially from 3-6 months and I think my first post ever on this site was about my dd doing 30 minute naps at the same age as your little one (8 weeks).  I think the title was "30 Minute Naps - Someone Please Shoot Me".  Dramatic, yes, but that is how I felt!!!! 

I don't know if I have helped but I just wanted to let you know that tidbit of information as I found it so interesting when my dd was an infant.  One of the BW "gurus" told me about it (Jane - Matthewsmommy) and she knows everything!!!   

Good luck!  We're here whenever! 

[stephie]

OK... so the nap went 20 minutes and then I tried for 45 minutes to shush/pat her back to sleep but she kept waking up after only a few minutes.... I tried holding her down so that she didn't jolt awake... but she still managed to wake up... for her it is not so much of a jolt as it is her legs going up in the air in her swaddle.... looks like she's doing reverse crunches!

Do I just keep this up? If she wakes fater 30 minutes and after 45 minutes of trying, just let her get up and then feed at 3.5 hours and then do it all over again?

[Lucysmom]

her legs going up in the air in her swaddle

Lucy did this too!  I actually would hold her legs down to try to get her through the jolts.  I felt like I was pinning her down but it was worth it if she was able to sleep.  You probably have already tried that though.....

Lucy still bangs her legs on the mattress and it is a way she self-soothes.  Strange, but true.  I would bet you're going to end up with a leg banger too.  I hope you don't have neighborhoods downstairs.   

[topsy]

Lucysmom, thanks for that! I'm glad there is an explanation....it wrecked my head that he could do so well at that time and then naps during the day be a disaster ...now I just think what a clever boy I have for figuring out 7:30 is bed time/night time!!

Stephie, hope things are improving for you. My boy had a crazy night the first night I shortened his awake time during the day but he was back to normal last night. I was so relieved!! I was terrified thinking I had  spoilt his night time sleeping.

One question on the naps, he's still waking up early, maybe getting to 35/40/45 mins now but I can eventually get him back to sleep, it takes 20 - 30 mins but thats still a huge improvement. I have to say though that he really only gets back to sleep if I put on some white noise for him (radio on static). Am I looking for trouble starting this i.e is it likely to become a prop? 

Thanks so much for the advice, we had such a nicer day yesterday when he got more sleep between feeds, he was back to his lovely smiling happy self! It was wonderful!

[Lucysmom]

Lucy sleeps with white noise to this day.  I guess technically it would be a prop but as far as props go it is quite benign.  I know lots of mommies on BW use white noise and I think there is nothing wrong with it at all.  So I would say use the white noise if it helps him and I do not believe it will be a problem in the future.  It has not turned out to be a problem at all for us and L can sleep without white noise now.  I still use it though now more for my reassurance that I can make noise when she is asleep and not wake her.  But there have been plenty of times we have not been able to use white noise and she has slept through tons of noise. 

So in summary, if white noise is going to make the difference between short naps and long naps, turn on that radio!!!      Just my two cents!

And yes, your boy is awfully clever to have already figured out that 7:30 is bedtime!  He really is well on his way to being a great little sleeper!  Good for you for all of your guidance in helping him with his sleep!  You're doing a great job!

[jwig]

Okay, so sorry, I was out of the loop for a bit but am back.  This week has been very painful but I have not resorted to CIO - I agree that it is not the answer.  This is our routine though these days, we are not sticking to it because of the short naps and now night wakings.  I am starting to think she is hungry so I am adding a feed in at lunch - 1 tbl of cereal - I just started this today.  She bf's amazingly well and always has - just started cereal a week and a half ago.

7:30 AM - Wake up
8:00 AM - bf
9:30 AM - nap (75% of the time this will be an hour and a half though today it was 45 mins)
11:30 AM - bf
12:00 PM - cereal
1:30 PM - nap (almost always 35 mins though today she is still sleeping - it is 2:40 PM here)
3:00 PM - bf
4:30 - cat nap
5:30 - bf
6:00 - cereal
7:30 - 6 ounce bottle of half breast milk and half formula
10:30 - bf (dream feed)
5:00 AM - bf

and then we start all over ....................She was a colicky baby until 10 weeks and now is just the type of baby that if not enough sleep is MISERABLE.  Last night I put her to bed at 7 PM because she was so tired from lack of sleep - she woke up at 11 PM and I fed her and then again woke at 3:30 but I got her back to sleep and then woke at 5 AM and I fed her. Oh and she started rolling yesterday and now rolls everywhere - her birthday is March 28th so is just over 5 months.

One more question - when can I drop this dream feed - I need the sleep?

Thanks so, so, so, so, much!!!!!!!