HELP DS won't sleep beyond 30-45!@!!

[Shannonn]

My DS used to take naps that were 1 1/2 hours long, now at 10wks he scaled back to 45 or 30 minute naps and he has become difficult at times to put down. I'm at a loss b/c I feel as if I've tried everything: shush/pat, wind down earlier, rocking, not rocking, coming in before he wakes to shush/pat him back to sleep (he'll drift off then wake back up), and CIO (he'll just cry until it is time to get him for the next feed). I refuse to put him in the swing everytime however we do use it at the end of the night (8:00) and he sleeps the whole hour and a half before his DF. The night which he used to sleep through is now broken with one to two wake ups. I don't know what to do or how to get back what he had.

10 wks
feeds for 30-45 minutes and doesn't typically fall asleep during it. Recently he has started to nod off on a few feeds
awake time: either on a mat, in my lap, or on a boppy pillow next to me or on his own for about 30 minutes

schedule:
7 feed
8-8:15 wind down for nap
8:30 sleep
wake at 9-9:45
and this 3 hour cycle continues for the rest of the day till I put him down at 8-8:15 in the swing

I can't get sleep, so my nerves are on end and I'm running short of patience. I could handle it better if I had a clue as to what is going on, but I don't know and therefore don't know how to solve this snow-balling sleepless nightmare. Please, anything, I'll try almost anything. . .

[Shannonn]

We do swaddle him. Although he is a perfect little houdini; he can get out every swaddle we make-- even the miracle blanket will turn into a miracle belt. LOL

As for when he wakes, it's almost always 45 minutes, only a few times has it been after 30 minutes.

You advised me earlier to help him go down for a nap by starting earlier with the wind down. I did that and he started going down at about 15 minutes without screaming bloody murder forever as he used to do.

I know we should cut out the swing at night, but I haven't because I need a break. We just moved and my DH is working a lot and I have no friends or family near to help. He takes my every waking moment and I feel in order to give him my best I must get a break to refresh myself. You are right though, he does sleep fitfully, but at least that nap IS consistently an hour and half. I can count on him getting more rest then than during the day in his crib.

I will try putting him down earlier. I feed him at 7, so it won't be 7:30 bed, more like 7:45ish.

BTW- I can't express enough what a help and life line it is to have this available with people willing to take the time and share what you have learned when you went through all of this. Thank you for your time and for caring.
s

[Shannonn]

I watched him during his naps today, and he's not waking from jolts. HIs jolts happen early in his sleep and are rather mild. They don't wake him. He just slowly stirs to life and decides he doesn't want to be in his swaddle and/or the crib. He squirms, arches his back and head and tries to pull his arms out of the swaddle. With the earlier naps, I can pat/shush him back to sleep but not in the later naps. I've paid closer attention to the lenght of his naps/schedule. that may be where the problem lies.

7am  up & feed and done by 7:30-45

A-  on mat for play in front of mirror and other toys while I eat and get ready for the day

8-8:15 wind down for sleep

8:30 sleep in crib

(9-9:15) wake up and I sh/pat back to sleep

10 feed and done by 10:30/45

A- sits in boppy pillow and chats with me or I go get some things done around the house or little of both

11-11:15 wind down for sleep

11:30  sleep in crib

(12-12:15) wake up and I shush/pat back to sleep

1 feed and done at 1:30-45

A- put him on his belly to practice holding up his head and other such things (but brief as it seems a lot for him) and just hold him

2-2:15  wind down for sleep

2:30 sleep

(3-3:15) wake up and I shush/pat to sleep, takes longer

4 feed and doen at 4:30-45

5-5:15 wind down for sleep

5:30 sleep

(6) wake up and I can't get him back to sleep. I just give up and put him on the mat

7 feed and done at 7:30-45

8-8:15 wind down by simply changing his diaper and swaddling and putting him in the heavenly swing

10 take him from the swing, DF then lay him in his crib

Sometimes we don't get to the A b/c the feed took too long and he was tired, so we go straight to our wind down routine.

I noticed that I am aiming for 4 hour and half naps (really five if you include the one before the DF in the swing) and that is probably too much sleep. Right? If not, how much longer does this go on? I just can't figure out what to do with Cayden to calm him or help him sleep.

[clarapist]

Hi Shannonn-- joining you in solidarity. I am having the same problem and have spent the better part of the afternoon crying. My DS Connor (9weeks) started doing 45's last week, and it's killing me.  I've got several posts in several places, check them out if you have the time.
Where in VA are you? I went to grad school in Richmond. Live in FL now.

Sleeping vibes to you,
Jill

[Shannonn]

We just moved to south of Richmond in Lynchburg. It's quite a change from Southern California but a change that my husband and I were looking for-- just poor timing. It wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't had him sleeping consistently hour hlaf naps and now not. If you never had it, you wouldn't miss it-- wish for it, but not miss it.

Stacy's been a rockstar in my little world. She's given me advice that's been on the button. I had trouble getting him down for naps, and she helped me resolve that one. As for twelve-hour nights, I'm nervous. He's now starting to wake up irratically at night, and I do mean irractically. It could be two or three or four or five or six but at least one of those times in the night. I wasn't feeding him because we could get him back down without. But not last night, so I think I'm going to start feeding him in the middle of the night again. I thought we had dropped that a while back; it just slowly disappeared around four to six weeks, but now it's back. I was afraid he was looking for comfort, but now I fear he needs it since his wake ups are irratic. Look what sleep deprivation does to a woman! I've gone completely off track. LOL

I have family in FL. It's a beautiful place that is wonderfully laid back. Where in FL do you live?

[Mymers]

Hi Shannon and Jill,

I'm right there with you both. My DS is 9 weeks today. He was taking 1.5 hr naps in the past, but his growth spurt at 7 weeks messed everything up. Since then, he has been taking 45min naps. I also have a VA connection... I was born in Washington DC and lived in Arlington and Falls Church until I was 12 . I'm now in Oregon.

Stacy (or anyone else),

Probably a silly question, but I'd like to try to be on the same page as everyone. If I put him down for a nap at 8:30am and he's relatively calm from the wind down routine (~5-8 min), does the clock start there? I'm asking because my DS tends to wake about 1 hour after I put him down and stop hearing noises. Not sure if he is napping around 45min or around 1 hour.

Also, you say it's a developmental stage they go through. How should we be helping them? When my DS wakes up early from his nap, I can tell he's still sleepy because he cries with his eyes closed and he seems groggy. I've been going in and putting pressure on his legs and holding his pacifier in his mouth. He settles back down, but it seems like I have to stay in there with him for 20-30min. He tends to wake about 5min after I leave. By then it's only about 15min before the feed, so sometimes I just go ahead and get him up and sometimes I just put more pressure and the paci until the feed. I know he doesn't make it back into the sleep cycle, but I feel better that he got some rest. Should I continue this or do something else?

Thanks,
My-Hanh

[Shannonn]

Stacy-
I did try feeding when he woke up at night and topping him off with a bottle after he BF. He slept through the night last night. As for the 445ers, they still going strong. I just go in early, twenty five-thrity minutes intot he nap, and hang out to see what he does. When he starts stirring I can get him back down in the first couple of naps with the shush pat. Thanks again for your help. Knowing what's going on even when we can't necessarily change it (quickly at least) helps the nerves a lot.

As for the newcomer to the thread, it's wild to be on the web with similar situations in different states (Florida, Ohio, Cailfornia [me]) but all having ties back to one location, Viriginia!

[Elise's Mum]

My little one is 5 months. She has started some terrible habbits as well.

We are *trying* to break her of the swaddle...as she is jsut outgrowing the miracle blanket. I know we should have tried sooner, but honestly, she wouldn't sleep otherwise. So, we're trying one arm out. She has short naps. BUT, in order to get her down for her nap...I have to hold her longer than usual for the wind down. And when I put her down...she is back up again. And now she is no longer having her one long nap a day. The few naps she has are 30-40 mins.

I'm at a loss. And tired and stressed like the rest of you. I've no idea how to break her of the blanket. And I don't know what to do. All she does is cry and cry if I lie her in bed. PU/PD does not work. Soon as she goes down again, same thing.

I'm also in VA. Blacksburg.

[Duckie]

We are *trying* to break her of the swaddle...as she is jsut outgrowing the miracle blanket.

Jacob outgrew the miracle blanket at around 2.5 or 3 months.  He's VERY long....

We started just swaddling his arms, but not tucking his legs in (well, mainly because we couldn't!)  After a few weeks of this we would wrap the blanket around his torso.  The blanket belonged to my neighbour, so I gave it back after we weaned and he took to it just fine.

The Aussie swaddle may work too....I'd never tried it.