Please Help!! 30 min napper

[hamsterhuey]

Hi there
I'm new to this forum but have read quite a lot of the posts on here and am really hoping someone might be able to help as I'm a bit confused!
My LO is 16 weeks and since birth has slept fantastically at night but only ever 30 min at a time during the day. You could set a timer by his naps to 30 min on the dot! He also is very difficult to get down for his naps, they usually take 20-30min to take. He has between 4-5 per day. I tried following the BW approach from the beginning and use a lot of the techniques but got disheartened over naps and gave up. However I have now had enough of spending nearly 3 hours of every day getting him to take these 30 min naps, I have no time for anything else! So I went back to the BW and this forum and thought I'd give it another shot at a) getting him to settle more easily for his naps and b) taking more than 30 min at a time. So today we started wind down for his first nap at 8.10 (wakes at 7, he was really yawning and rubbing his eyes - how can I stretch this?) and he was asleep by 8.35 in his cot after 20 min of shush pat. He woke exactly 30 min later so I did S/P and PUPD and he screamed and screamed and screamed but eventually dropped back off after 50minutes and actually then slept for another 50 min so I felt pretty good! Then next nap it took only 10 min of S/P so feeling positive again! And then all hell broke loose! I tried wake to sleep 10 min before he would normally wake but it had no effect he woke 30 min after the nap started. I then had 1 hr 45 min of the worst tears and screaming I have ever had from him and eventually abandoned it and fed him. As soon as I stopped trying to get him to sleep and got him up he was happy as anything. Now I am at a complete loss. It was heartbreaking and I felt it achieved nothing. Am I going about this correctly or am I missing something? I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place because my entire day revolves around trying to get him to nap yet I can't seem to figure out how to change it. We stopped using a dummy a week ago because it had become a prop so it's even harder for naps now because at least I could use that to calm him down. I think he is "textbook" judging from the questionnaire in the book but that doesn't seem to equate with his lack of napping ability! Also everything I read talks about short naps being 45 min, but I'd be seriously grateful if I could get 45 min out of him! The other problem I have is that he is huge for his age, weighing over 20lbs now and I have a bad back so doing the PUPD today has now got me in agony and I don't know how much more of it I can do.

Sorry this is so long, I'd be very grateful for any advise on what to do or where I am going wrong.

[Mom to M&M]

At almost 4 months old, you definitely want that morning A time to be a little longer - hopefully then you can get a longer nap and the day on track. If he's waking at 7am, I wouldn't put him down before 8:30, preferably 8:45. Extend the A time gradually, when he starts acting tired have you tried changing activities and doing something low key like going for a walk, sitting outside, etc? If you can get that first nap to be at least an hour, the second nap would then be 1.75-2 hours after end of first nap, and so on... Have you also read the FAQ section on this board?

[hamsterhuey]

Hi, thanks for replying. Yes I have read quite a lot of the FAQ's section. I have tried extending the A time but will have another attempt. I change activities gradually getting more and more low key but he rubs his eyes constantly and grizzles and then when I do come to try and put him down for nap he has a meltdown - should I just persevere through that? Also on days when he has lasted till around 9am and I put him down for a nap it is still only 30min - would that just change in time if I always put him down later? I am quite confused as to what to do because I feel if I lengthen how long I keep him awake then I am ignoring his "cues" and miss the "window". I feel exhausted after today trying to put him back down after his naps, he just hasn't had it and is now being put to bed by dad seriously overtired and not a happy boy - is this right that it should be this awful before things get better or am I doing something wrong?

[jacksmomns]

I can relate to your problem and hopefully i can also get an answer here.  You sound just like me with extending naps, and just tried w2s with no luck.  how old is your lo?  I too have read over this site many times, each day in fact.  But am still having short nap issues too, and wonder about A time.  Hang in there, and i will too-we don't have a choice but to keep trying.    Marissa's momma--any thoughts?

[Lessum]

Hi ...I am new here....Just read the book and am trying EASY.  I too have a 45 minute napper.  She is 17wks.  She's always slept 45 minutes.   But has always been a very happy baby.  She has been napping in her swing until this week where I have tried putting her in he crib...and she does pretty well.  However, if after 45 minutes she wakes up happy and I try to put her back down she gets very mad and starts crying so hard.  If I just take her out and let her play, she is fine...however she is usually tired about 1 -1.5 hours later and will nap again for about 45 minutes.  Before this week, we never had any problems with her short naps...and she sleeps relatively well at night.  When she would get tired I would just put her down and she would pretty much go to sleep.  We put her in her crib last night for the first time and she woke only once.  She had been sleeping in our room in a port. crib.  I just thought that she should be napping longer so I thought I'd try...however I am wondering if it ain't broke...why fix it?  Is this wrong to think?  Also, I am not sure about the scheduling...as yesterday she was up 2.5hours in the morning before her nap and was very happy...I finally put her down because I felt I should...not because she was acting tired  She did finally sleep though...and today again...2 hours but she didn't show any sleepy cues...but I put her down anyway.  I notice that when I wait til she is "tired" she sleeps longer I think....

Any thoughts?
Leslie

[laurynlu]

Hi,
You are not alone! In fact I could have written this post to the letter. I have been experiencing the exact same thing! My dd is actually 6 months old now and unless I stay with her for naps and lay my hands on her at the 30 minute mark, she still only sleeps for 30 minutes. (And of course this doesn't always work!!) The only thing that I've managed to accomplish is to decrease the time it takes to get her down! I used to spend hours too...and some days are still harder than others, believe me. But now she goes down relatively easily with minimal crying. You should join us on the support thread for short nappers....it helps to vent from time to time and get suggestions from other moms.
Hang in there I know it's really frustrating...you'll get through it.
Take care.
Krysta

[chrissy5050]

I feel for you ladies but I wanted to help you feel a little better.  I have a 20 minute napper   He wakes and cries   I hope I was atleast able to make your situation seem tolerable LOL No really I can understand how difficult it is to have the sleep battle with your LO's.  It is so hard to watch them struggle with sleep and being so tired. And once they are off track forget about it there is no catching up with sleep and naps only get worse from that point.  I think I am going to try really short activities like 20 minutes keeping him up less then an hour total and starting wind down.  Then if he does well I will slowly increase activity times again.  I just need to get through today before I try my brilliant idea.  Sometime I feel so dumb 

[jacksmomns]

i think we all feel a little dumb sometimes! There are days when i think i've got it, and days when i feel off the map.  It is rough when their sleep is off. I,m just now getting the hang of easy, and am nervous about when its time to change it up.  The short naps are grueling!!!

[chrissy5050]

I just wanted to share.. I had to leave him at every nap and let him fuss a little and I didn't go into his room when he started fussing and grunting or even crying.  Iwaited a few minutes maybe 3 max. and he went back to sleep on his own each time all day for two hour stretches (not undisturbed but better then we've been getting) except one nap which he screamed uncontroably even when I held him so we slept together on my bed instead of letting him get way too over tired and not catching up.. .